Absurd Ad Claims & Small Details

[poci1957]

Well it is Friday and we could all use a laugh, how about car ads we see that are a little too desperate to build up selling points?  We all know about claims of rare, rust free, ran when parked, etc. but how about something more creative and/or clueless?  I will start with examples of two ads that amused me recently:

 

1.  An Ebay ad for a nice looking 1964 Catalina includes the line "......The car also has the highly desirable and hard-to-find Roto-matic transmission, heavy duty air cleaner....." 

 

Over 90% of all Catalinas from 1961-64 had the decidedly NOT desirable Roto-Hydramatic "slim jim" transmission that probably disabled more 1961-64 Olds & Pontiacs than any other single feature.  And ALL had a "heavy duty" air cleaner     

 

2.  One of my favorites ever for a ratty 1957 Pontiac: Rare Intercontinental (Transcontinental that is) Pontiac Station Wagon was 1 of only 5 ever built (over 1800 actually).  It was first introduced at the 1957 Worlds Fair with Cadillac designing the interior and Pontiac tripling the sheet metal on the body, this car was considered the safest car for it’s time....

 

Well, there was a 1957 Worlds Fair in Brussels and I cannot prove if Pontiacs were there or not but this is the first I have heard of it.  I am pretty sure Cadillac did not design the interior on that or any other Pontiac.  And if anyone can tell me what it means to triple the sheet metal(!) on a car  I would be glad to know.  What kind of ad claims have YOU seen......Todd C

Edited August 5, 2016 by poci1957 (see edit history)

[Buffalowed Bill]

You're sure right about the transmission, I had a smaller version of the same thing in a 1963 Cutlass convertible that owned in the late 60's. The car folks jokingly called the trans "jerk-o-matic. In drive trans would slip until the car reached 25-30 MPH then slam into top gear. After a short time they seemed to defy any attempts at normal servicing. 

[Grimy]

My well-remembered favorite was a Hemmings print ad in the 1980s for a pre-war Cadillac which included the line, "Engine disassembled for your inspection."

[Grimy]

And if I may expand this wonderful topic to include outlandish in-person claims, a couple of decades ago I looked at a 1941 Cadillac for sale.  It was idling, with a rough, farting, exhaust beat at the tailpipe--whereeas a good flathead Cadillac will purr.  The seller said, "that's the famous Cadillac whispering exhaust."  I replied, "yeah, it's whispering 'I need a valve job NOW.'"

[bob staehle]

4 sale 1920 model t always garage kept

 

4 sale 1921 chevy, location north east pa never driven in snow

Edited August 5, 2016 by bob staehle (see edit history)

[Amphicar BUYER]

This could get fun!!! 

[keiser31]

"Four 1931 Dodge Brothers hubcaps. Just removed from a rust-free car. No rust. No returns."

Yeah....they fell apart in my hands as I took them out of the box.

 

[60FlatTop]

My Wife told me I should think about selling my 1958 Austin-Healey Sprite that is rust free and been sitting disassembled in a barn since 1965. She was kinda pushy about the  idea, but said if one one buys it I can keep it. I'm just hoping no one is going to take it away from me. They'd have that great iconic car that stands for everything cute in cars. I'll post an ad for a while so she can see I'm making an effort. I sure hope some stinker doesn't come along and grab it from me.

Bernie

[alsancle]

Don't forget the grandaddy of them all when trying to sell a 1/2 finished disassembled project:  "Hard part has been done".

[Guest]

Sorry to break topic on this one but it fits the vein of "creative" advertising. When my wife and I moved to Palm Springs 17 years ago and started house shopping, temps here are regularly over 100 degrees, 9 in 10 houses have swimming pools. One less than desirable house without swimming pool was listed as "Buyers delight, No pesky pool!" 

[keiser31]

Recently went on quite a drive (6 hours each way) to look at what was told to me to be three of a certain fairly rare car. The widow had NO idea at all what they were worth or WHAT to even ask for. Others had told her they were basket cases and never offered her a price, but I had to go look and make an offer. So, I get all of the way up there, check out what turned out to be a dissected single car with a lot of extra parts. I looked it over and came home to think about an offer. I called her a couple of days later with what I thought was a very reasonable offer. She then says, "Well, I have been offered a lot more than THAT for it." Now....why didn't she tell me that before I drove 12 hours and wasted a day looking at one car that was way out of my price range already?

[Fleek]

I looked at a Riviera this week that was advertised as always well maintained and original and could be driven anywhere with no problems. Raised the hood and pulled the dipstick to find black mud for oil. Checked the radiator and the fluid could not be seen. Yep, really well maintained until about 10 years ago maybe.

[alsancle]

I have told this one a few times on this forum.  Back in 1987 flush with cash from my first real job I just had to have a 53 Packard Caribbean. Looked all over and eventually one turned up in Hemmings down in a small town just north of the Florida border dead in the middle of Georgia.  This was pre-Internet days and before driving all the way from Massachusetts 22 hours south my dad go the bright idea to call the Police chief there and ask if he could recommend someone to inspect it for us.  The police chief was super nice and a car guy himself.  He said he would personally inspect it for us free of charge.  Anyways,  from his description it was a peach that we could drive back to Mass no problems.  So we head down to Georgia driving straight through and get there at the next day.  Car was a complete POS, would only start if you hammered on the starter with a ball peen.  Come to find out the Police chief was the sellers brother in law.  It felt like a scene out of "White Lighting".  Anyways, we high tailed it out of town as fast as we could.  Total trip was 48 hours there and back, with exactly 30 minutes spent looking at the car.

Edited August 6, 2016 by alsancle (see edit history)

[jrbartlett]

At Hershey about 15 years ago, looking at a Duesenberg with a sign that, among other attributes, said "returned to the factory at an early date for installation of external exhaust pipes." A number of people were looking at the car, and one guy behind me turned to his friend and said, "That's funny, I owned this car a few years back and it didn't have the external exhaust pipes on it then."

 

Tucker convertible -- Met a fellow who once owned the actual car (per serial number) who told me "It was a sedan when I owned it."

 

'20s Packard Touring -- Called a "famous Packard Phantom" in an ad.

 

"Sport Sedan" -- Any number of ads hyping plain old sedans.

 

"should not be restored" -- "lovely patina" -- Phrases hyping badly deteriorated cars for which the owners were seeking restored-car prices.

 

"you can pick up these parts at garage sales all over the state" -- Told to my brother, who drove to Oklahoma to see a '20s Rolls Royce phaeton that "could be restored by someone who wasn't afraid of work." He found a bare chassis missing everything -- engine and drive train, body, wheels, you name it.   

 

"The engine was rebuilt" -- Told to a friend who drove a thousand miles to see an Auburn phaeton. When it was started up, it smoked, but the owner said it would stop when it was warmed up. He called and told me about it, and I advised him to ask to see the receipts from the rebuilder. "I have them, but I can't find them," the owner said. I told my friend, "That means it's not rebuilt." He bought the car anyway, after negotiating a big discount. Sure enough, he got the car home and it has never stopped smoking like a steam locomotive.

 

"investment grade" -- Fancy phrase that really means overpriced.

 

"Don't believe anything the auction company tells you" -- Told to me before I attended an auction to buy a high-end car. Turns out this statement was entirely true.   

[Taylormade]

My wife and I drove a thousand miles to Pennsylvania to se a 52 Plymouth convertible that looked good in the photos.  I was assured multiple times by the seller that the car had absolutely no rust.  I told him I was most concerned about the inner rockers.  Solid as a rock he told me.  The car runs and drives like new he claimed.

We made the trip and found the exterior of the car to be a bit shabby, but photos lie and it was't that bad.  Then we took it for a ride and it did drive like new if you ignored the wheel shimmy, the balky brakes, the grinding transmission and the loose steering.  The motor was weak and I had no idea about oil pressure or temperature since none of the gauges worked.  Finally, I crawled under the car and poked at the inner rocker.  This is no lie - my finger went right through the metal - what was left of it anyway, and I got a face full of rusty dust.

We passed.

[cahartley]

I have sold a lot of things over the years, very old tractors primarily but three cars too.

I have never misrepresented anything and have always disclosed any and all faults known to me to potential buyers.

Hobbies, some more than others, narrow down to very small, well connected, worlds where if your word isn't good EVERYONE in those worlds knows about it within hours so if you EVER plan on selling again you'd better think twice about trying to screw someone over (or even worse succeed) if you ever plan on selling again....... .

I've been a victim of lying through their teeth sellers who should have know that word WOULD get around....... 

I don't know how people who misrepresent things can sleep at night.

 

[Restorer32]

Drove several hundred miles to look at a car with a "clean"  PA title. It was clean alright, the seller had obviously bleached the previous owner's signature from the title.

[jpage]

Went to look at a Model A once that was said to be in great running order. An hour later we showed up only to find a rusty hulk up in blocks. They'll say anything to get you there!

[Bhigdog]

We drove 14 hours one way to look at a red 57 Buick convertible. It looked great in the pix. Was said to be rust free, run and stop good. The car was sprayed rattle can gold. A magnet wouldn't stick to half of the car. The ENTIRE underside was covered with a thick layer of new undercoating and there was no battery in the truly ratty looking engine compartment. Lesson learned..........Bob

[SC38dls]

P

"Pictures are recent"  if twenty years ago means recent -- "It ran like a top when we parked it" A top that was just about stopped spinning. 

[carlisle1926]

There was a bed up for auction on Ebay in about 2003. It was advertised as being for a rare 1934 REO truck and in perfect condition, which is an extremely rare old step side bed from the 1930's. I couldn't tell much about it by the photos because it was surrounded by tumble weeds and they had been taken in poor lighting. The guy was in El Paso, TX, and after a phone conversation with him, he assured me it was in perfect shape with no dents and NO rust and from a 1934 or 1935 REO pickup. I bought it and had it shipped via Greyhound bus. When it came in and I opened the boxes he had disassembled and packed the bed in, I was shocked to find it was a bed from a late 1940's/50's GMC truck that he had cut down with a torch. He even took the torch and cut off the bottom 2 inches on the bed that had rotted. It was the same bed in the photos, but he had done an excellent job hiding the problems. When I called him and questioned him about it, he claimed that Greyhound must have damaged it in transit and to take the issue up with them.

[Guest]

A friend of a friend wanted to badly buy an early Mustang convertible.  I met with the FoaF and his wife, who knew nothing about cars except that they needed gas every now and then.  I briefly went over the major things that needed to be checked as part of the buying process.  One of the things that I mentioned was checking for rust, although it's not as big an issue here (California) as in other parts of the country.

 

A few weeks later, the FoaF calls me and invites me to come along and look at a freshly-painted yellow '66 convertible that has been "fully restored."  I had a conflict, so I passed.  A week later, FoaF calls and says they bought the car and that there's a problem with transferring the Illinois (warning sign) title, as the serial number on the car (plate on door edge) doesn't match the title.  You Mustang experts know where this is going.  I ask FoaF to check the inner fender where the serial number is stamped, but nothing is readable as the entire engine compartment was sprayed with rattle can undercoating as part of the "full restoration."  So, more curious than anything, I offer to bring over some rags and solvent to see if we can raise a serial number.  Fortunately, the inner fender serial number matched the title and I explained that the door had obviously been replaced somewhere along the line and the ID plates had not been transferred.

 

Now here's the fun part and where I bowed out of this picture.  FoaF asks me to take a look at the rest of the "fully restored" car.  I noticed that the car is sitting kind of funny, like there's a  heavy weight in a back corner of the trunk.  As I open the trunk, I ask him what the lump is in under the floor mat.  He doesn't know, so I lift the mat to see one of the rear leaf spring shackles poking through the trunk floor.  At this point, I explain that this is a safety-related repair and must be his first priority.  I poked at the other rail under the trunk floor and got the dreaded crunchy noise before I decided to stop, not knowing what else I might find.  After this, I emphasized to FoaF that he needed to find a really good body shop, as the car would very likely need extensive sheet metal repairs.

 

So 30 years later, I still mildly flinch when I see the term "fully restored" in an ad.  The term means different things to different people.

[28 Chrysler]

I looked at 53 Chevy  PU truck that " ran when parked ".

It must have been last parked with the oil drained, a rock on the gas petal.

No oil on the dip stick and the crankshaft  would turn turn about 1/2 way both directions.

 

[padgett]

Around here its "just needs a can of Freon".

[auburnseeker]

I saw a 57 Dodge 2 door hardtop tonight on ebay with a buy it now of 5,000.  Seems reasonable as it had a bunch of mechanical work done including all new brakes and didn't look terrible.  The owner said runs and drives great but not running now as it needs a coil.  If all it's going to take is a 20.00 coil to make it run and drive great again,  you better buy one and put it on. 

[auburnseeker]

My cord was advertised using the appraisers words as he had put them on the appraisal.  "very rare supercharged 1936 Cord 810"  

Um,  they didn't make a supercharged Cord in 1936.  Pipes on the fences don't make it supercharged.  I thought it was possibly an 812 until i got it home and looked at the ID tag.  I guess the appraiser wasn't much of an expert. 

[alsancle]

7 hours ago, auburnseeker said:

My cord was advertised using the appraisers words as he had put them on the appraisal.  "very rare supercharged 1936 Cord 810"  

Um,  they didn't make a supercharged Cord in 1936.  Pipes on the fences don't make it supercharged.  I thought it was possibly an 812 until i got it home and looked at the ID tag.  I guess the appraiser wasn't much of an expert. 

 

Not to get us side tracked but I'm not a big fan of the "professional appraisal". 

[auburnseeker]

http://www.hemmings.com/classifieds/cars-for-sale/ford/model-t/1860916.html?refer=news

 

 

1929 Ford Model T Model T Midget Van

 

Edited August 7, 2016 by auburnseeker (see edit history)

[capngrog]

10 hours ago, auburnseeker said:

I saw a 57 Dodge 2 door hardtop tonight on ebay with a buy it now of 5,000.  Seems reasonable as it had a bunch of mechanical work done including all new brakes and didn't look terrible.  The owner said runs and drives great but not running now as it needs a coil.  If all it's going to take is a 20.00 coil to make it run and drive great again,  you better buy one and put it on. 

 

Amen to that!!!  Whether it's a car or a toaster oven, if "it's real easy and inexpensive to fix" the seller should bloody well fix the blasted thing.  Operating machinery always brings a better price to the seller than inoperative machinery; therefore, it's very much in the seller's interest to have the machine in operating condition.  If they try the old "easy to fix" routine on you, either bid on it as a non-functioning machine, or walk away.  I usually just walk away, since someone so obviously lying to me makes me angry.

 

Just my opinion,

Grog

[padgett]

OTOH if close and weird I'll sometimes just take what is needed with me and go look. Would say the large majority of the population is mechanically inept. Can usually tell on the phone if clueless or concealing.

[Luv2Wrench]

The Wife and I drove a total of 1800 miles on various trips looking at cars for my daughter.  On one of the last trips (that was going to be 450 miles) I explained to the seller how much time I had wasted going to see cars that were not in the described condition.  He agreed that it was nearly criminal to do that to the buyers.  I explained, again, that it would be around 8 hours of my time to get up and look at the car... his reply was "it will totally be worth the trip".  I said again... "so no accidents and all original paint with no clear-coat issues, no check-engine light are on, etc etc.".  His reply, "It is perfect".  So we went.  Upon arriving I could see from 20' the entire driver's quarter panel had been destroyed at one point with the bondo showing 80grit scratches through the semi-gloss paint.  Even the Wife was livid.  I met with the guy because I just had to hear how that damage was not an accident.  He said "well, it wasn't in an accident, the tire blew out and the rubber rubbed the side and we buffed it out.  No paint."  I pointed out the perfectly uniform deep scratches in the paint (that didn't match) and he said he'd never noticed that before and maybe the body shop did it.... and maybe he'd knock $100 off the price so I could get it buffed 'right'.  Just for kicks we started it to take a test drive.  The dash lit up like a poker machine with warning lights I didn't even realize that model had.  About the only thing that wasn't 'on' was the oil pressure... as in, there wasn't any.  He claimed that must have happened because it has "been sitting around a lot".  We left and managed to enjoy the trip back home.  We still joke about it today.  We eventually got the perfect car for her and we created a list.

 

1) Whatever isn't clearly pictured, is in horrid condition.  Example: If the driver's seat isn't pictured, it may well be stuffing and a metal frame.

2) If it says "just passed emissions" that means engine needs a rebuild because "just passing" is a victory.

3) One yellow headlight and one new headlight means the car was in a wreck and they were too cheap to replace both headlights... which means the repair is garbage.

4) "Quick access to Title" = You get the title once the money you pay for the car goes to the pawn shop guy.

5) "Mechanics Special"  = No one knows what's wrong with it.

6) If the car is reasonably priced and has been for sale for more than a week, it is garbage.   This rule seems harsh but it was proven true time after time though it probably applies to modern cars more than classics. 

 

 

Edited August 7, 2016 by Luv2Wrench (see edit history)

[padgett]

One of the things I like about weird cars is that there is usually almost no market for them. OTOH the nice once usually trade without ever being advertised. If you enjoy tinkering then estate sales are a great source and we have a lot.

 

That said when I look, I can usually find the make/model/year/options/color in a month or so & all but one has been close enough to inspect personally (will admit the latest was more of a rescue).

[ScarredKnightfan]

Heh ... just posted a topic about "Rusting Away", which includes an article I wrote about a recent non-buying experience that has frustrated the heck out of me.  While that was at a dealer, sometimes the private owners can be even more outlandish.

 

 

Cort > www.oldcarsstronghearts.com
pigValve.paceMaker.cowValve | 1979 Caprice Classic (needs new owner)
"Who's gonna hold me tonight?" __ Trace Adkins __ 'Help Me Understand'

[Matt Harwood]

I love the ads where the guy acts like he doesn't know anything but makes these astounding claims because that's what "I was told by an expert." What expert, the guy who lives behind the dumpster at Denny's?

 

"I got this car in a trade and was told that it is one of only two ever made. Jay Leno tried to buy the other one for fifteen brazillionty dollars but was turned down."

[Guest Grumpy's Auto Shop]

A perennial classic is 'mechanic-owned', said as if this is a GOOD thing.  Truth be told, the daily driver for a guy who does this for a living is probably the LAST car he'll get around to doing anything with other than limping it along.  What with the Wife, Mother-in-Law and kids cars on top of the daily grind, it should come as no surprise.

 

As well, the better the mechanic, the more probable this becomes as we know how far we can push things.

[60FlatTop]

My High School friend passed away about a month ago. He knew me better than anyone and thought of me as a mechanic. When he saw me put a car up for sale his first question - "What pissed you off about THAT car?"

 

Since I still have the car I bought when I was 30.... and the one I bought when I was 50.... and some others, I guess he had some insight into my motivation.

 

I do remember making a very generous offer at a dealer a few years ago. It was for a late model Jaguar around the time I bought my '94 Impala. The salesman replied "OH, Sir, we have more than that in the car." I was stunned, but not enough to ask if the wholesale buyer's position was open. He couldn't still be working there could he?? You mean to actually tell me a buyer for your dealership paid more than that offer for the car? Buddy, you are in trouble. I knew a couple of buyers who got drunk and came home with a Thames double decker bus, but even drunks have some level of awareness.

 

I told him I'd be back in a year, but I wouldn't be interested if they have left it outside all year. I still see it in the back. The bonnet isn't closed right. it's outside. Maybe the auction floor planned it and he just pays the interest.

 

Anyone interested in a nice '94 Impala? I'll deduct for the bad A/C clutch with the stripped Chinese tool in it. Mechanic owned.

Bernie

[auburnseeker]

I bought my 49 Chevy truck from a guy that owned an inspection station.  It came with brakes that barely worked, the horn didn't work,  all 4 tires were bald (no tread at all in a few spots)  The license plate light didn't work.  It goes to show how far you can go when you own the inspection station.  I saw most of this stuff though and the price reflected it. 

[poci1957]

20 hours ago, padgett said:

Would say the large majority of the population is mechanically inept. Can usually tell on the phone if clueless or concealing.

 

"Clueless or concealing".....there is the theme of this topic in a nutshell, I like that.  And indeed the majority have some level of ineptitude.....except in their own mind of course, no shortage of know-nothing bluster in the car world, but that is a WHOLE 'nother thread.

 

I am with you Padgett on the weird cars.  In my area if you are looking at a 1960s-1970s Chevy with a problem it is likely "concealing" since everyone to some level can work on them (except with the endless need for a can of freon of course).  But if like me you find an Alfa Romeo Spider you may find "clueless" to be to your advantage.  My Alfa was in the hands of a seemingly regular suburban guy who had decided a 30 year old Alfa was just the thing to fix up for his teenage daughter to drive.  Well, if keeping her at home was the goal then he was right, but if actually driving was the plan he was failing miserably and realized it.  He claimed he had replaced the head gasket and could not reset the timing and I was quite sure this was the real story, the only question being how much damage he had done.  But as long as I could get it cheap I could fix it and (I told myself) probably still not lose money.  It is likely the wife and daughter were helping my cause behind the scenes too.  Matt Joseph once wrote a similar story of encountering a guy with a broken down SAAB and buying it on the cheap since the owner could not read the Swedish timing marks, so it can happen, Todd C        

 

 

[Guest BillP]

I saw an ad recently for a car that the owner claimed had an internal supercharger. Maybe it blows the pistons back up on the exhaust stroke.

[padgett]

I really like FIAT 124 Spyders. They just suit me. Had a 1438 at 10,000 feet and never let me down. May have another some day. Just like DOHC.  Back in the day many clueless has 124s and 850s that would slowly lose oil pressure. Dealer would tell them big bucks. I found more than one that just had a sludged up oil slinger on the end of the crank. Clean that and oil pressure was back.

 

Always have liked Alphas but just never encountered the right one for the right money.