Can anyone pick me up, please ??

[mobileparts]

Like the title says :

Can anyone pick me up, please ??

 

Two weeks ago, I asked my doctor what I could do to stay in shape during the winter....

 

He replied that I should walk five (5) miles each day....

So, I said, " O. K. " .....

 

But now, I am 70 miles from home !!!!

[wayne sheldon]

Now, THAT brought a smile to my face!

[mobileparts]

In this awful year named 2020, that was my goal....

Bring smiles to those who read it !!!!

 

Happy Holidays, all.....

[wayne sheldon]

And I hope my comment brought a smile to you!

Hopefully a bit of banter will bring a smile to another.

[SC38dls]

Wayne are you saying you were happy he was 70 miles from home?  Lol
dave s 

[trimacar]

My doctor told me I had bad knees, and should put a bar in the shower.

 

It’s great, the beer gets a little watery but the whiskey is perfect....

[wayne sheldon]

Dave,

Yeah! I am a mean ol so-n-so and revel in the suffering of others lost and far from home!

[Paul Dobbin]

My doctor told me it was OK to walk around the house naked.

Sheriff Andy said OK, but it had to be inside the house.

[Jim Bollman]

[Dave Mellor NJ]

I dreamed I was eating a 25 pound marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone

[Fleek]

My doctor told me I need to watch my tummy, so I grew it out where I can see it well.

[bdc]

18 hours ago, Jim Bollman said:

Now I understand why people sing in the shower 

[nick8086]

Sorry I have to stay at home and quarantine?? Mayors orders..

 

 

[30DodgePanel]

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

[Marty Roth]

5 hours ago, 30DodgePanel said:

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

 

Heard that one many years ago from a Minnesotan, with heavy accent,

as Ole and Lena,

(but never here in Louisiana from Boudreaux and Thibodaux)

 

Thanks for a fun reminder,

[Marty Roth]

Stopping at a traffic light, 

Lena jumped out of her car, ran forward to the truck ahead of her, and tapped on the door.

When the truck driver opened his window, Lena told him he was losing part of his load,

But he just rolled up his window!

 

The same thing happened at the next two lights, and Lena became more exasperated.

 

Finally the truck driver said:

Ma'am, this is Minnesota-

It is Winter -

I'm driving the Salt Spreader !

[padgett]

Boss Tweed would be proud.

[rocketraider]

On 12/11/2020 at 2:15 PM, Marty Roth said:

 

Heard that one many years ago from a Minnesotan, with heavy accent,

as Ole and Lena,

(but never here in Louisiana from Boudreaux and Thibodaux)

 

Thanks for a fun reminder,

Wonder what Boudreaux an' 'em would t'ink of Minnesota?

 

"Eh, Thibodaux, we ain't in de bayou no mo'!"

 

"Eh, Boudreaux, I t'ink it be easier to wrassle a gator dan drive in dis stuff! Leas' you kin make a gumbo wit' de gator's tail!"

 

We had a mechanic named Beaudry at work who was orig from Shreveport area. So natcherly he became Boudreaux!

[Marty Roth]

1 hour ago, rocketraider said:

Wonder what Boudreaux an' 'em would t'ink of Minnesota?

 

"Eh, Thibodaux, we ain't in de bayou no mo'!"

 

"Eh, Boudreaux, I t'ink it be easier to wrassle a gator dan drive in dis stuff! Leas' you kin make a gumbo wit' de gator's tail!"

 

We had a mechanic named Beaudry at work who was orig from Shreveport area. So natcherly he became Boudreaux!

 

Being from Shreveport, and north of I-10,

If he were born there, folks down here would consider him a Yankee, also used fro a northerner who visits and then returns north,

unless he moved south to Shreveport,

in which case my wife's grandmother used to say he would be a "Damn-Yankee" - someone who came south and stayed (Like Me) !

[padgett]

Only time I really knew what it felt like to be a minority was after a job in east NOLA.

[rocketraider]

My Grandma usually referred to anyone not born below the Mason-Dixon, but who moved south and stayed, as a carpetbagger. She often modified it to "a dayum cahrpetbagga". Carpetbaggers scammed her family's land out from under them in Reconstruction times and she never forgot. In the 1970s I'd drive her around where she grew up and she'd often say "100 yeahs ago we owned all this." 

 

Wish I could think of another funny to keep the thread going!☺️

[61polara]

While in college, I went to visit a friend one summer weekend.  1970 Challenger convertible (318), I took the back roads for the two hour trip.  In a small town, I stopped to check my map for the next part of the route.  While studying the map, a man came up to the car and asked if I knew the way to Glory.  I replied, no but I'll help you find it.  Shocked, he said "No, I mean have you been saved!"

[padgett]

This time of the year we sell Yankees lots with beautiful cypress trees.

[Jim Bollman]

After moving South I asked a local how long I had to wait till I could start complaining about the damn Yankees moving down. He asked if I had my TN drivers license and I told him it was of the first thing we did. He said you can start, with a big smile.

[padgett]

Tennessee is 600 miles north of here.

[John Kelso]

Funny thing I live in a rural area of Pennsylvania and we complain about the southerners moving in,guess we're all alike, Americans!

[60FlatTop]

3 hours ago, JAK said:

a rural area of Pennsylvania

 

We know about those rural areas of PA from going to Hershey.

 

[padgett]

Thought it was Pennsiltucky.

[oldcarfudd]

In Pennsylvania, or Kentucky, or both, spelling is no longer taught.

[60FlatTop]

No longer? That's Moe in 1952.

[lump]

For many years I have been involved in the collector-vehicle industry, doing advertising and marketing for many of the top companies who make and/or sell parts & products to restorers, hot rodders, racers, etc. So I have crisscrossed the nation for years visiting clients. It was always humorous when visiting clients in Atlanta or Chattanooga or Alabama, where I was the cheerful target of many, many "yankee" and "damn yankee" jokes and good-hearted name-calling, etc. Then I would visit clients in New Jersey, Minnesota, or Philadelphia, where I was poked fun at for being a "hick" and/or a "hillbilly" from down-south. 🤪

 

All in good fun, of course. I've made a lot of good friends over my career, and welcomed the good-natured jibes. 

[lump]

I recall one time when, as a young boy, I was sitting at the counter at a diner, next to a grumpy older gentleman. He complained to the waitress, "Lady, this coffee tastes like MUD!" She stopped what she was doing and looked blankly at him, saying, "Well sir, it was ground this morning." 

 

I nearly choked on my coke! 😆

[trimacar]

On 12/12/2020 at 7:07 PM, rocketraider said:

My Grandma usually referred to anyone not born below the Mason-Dixon, but who moved south and stayed, as a carpetbagger. She often modified it to "a dayum cahrpetbagga". Carpetbaggers scammed her family's land out from under them in Reconstruction times and she never forgot. In the 1970s I'd drive her around where she grew up and she'd often say "100 yeahs ago we owned all this." 

 

Wish I could think of another funny to keep the thread going!☺️

The real problem is that damn Yankees don’t understand where the tru Mason Dixon line is located.

 

It starts east of Charlotte, runs through Atlanta on its way to Jackson, and ends up in Shreveport.

 

And, anyone from Shreveport who’s says they’re Cajun is, well, fuller of stuff than a Christmas turkey.....I’m from Alexandria in the middle of Louisiana, and I only make the cut because my father was from a town further south and spoke fluent Cajun French (which, by the way, does NOT mean the same as speaking fluent French!)....and his family was well immersed in the South Louisiana way...

[padgett]

Was born in the only southern state that was occupied for the entire war and speak mid-Atlantic bland (once was asked in London if was a BBC announcer) but was more southern there than 1,000 miles souf where I live now.

[Marty Roth]

24 minutes ago, trimacar said:

The real problem is that damn Yankees don’t understand where the tru Mason Dixon line is located.

 

It starts east of Charlotte, runs through Atlanta on its way to Jackson, and ends up in Shreveport.

 

And, anyone from Shreveport who’s says they’re Cajun is, well, fuller of stuff than a Christmas turkey.....I’m from Alexandria in the middle of Louisiana, and I only make the cut because my father was from a town further south and spoke fluent Cajun French (which, by the way, does NOT mean the same as speaking fluent French!)....and his family was well immersed in the South Louisiana way...

 

While my wife's paternal heritage goes back to late 18th/early 19th century New Orleans, they trace back to the French Alsace region. Her maternal side called New Orleans home since the later 1800s, but were previously based at Lafourche Crossing, then a vital trading area where the Southern Pacific RR crossed over Bayou Lafourche. If you were a farmer, fisherman shrimper, oysterman, and otherwise made your living around the bayou country of Lafourche/Terrebonne Parishes, you purchased, bartered, or brought your goods to the store at Lafourche Crossing for contact with New Orleans, Morgan City, Baton Rouge, and all the rest of USA and the world. Her ancestors also served as Postmaster for Lafourche Crossing, both before and following "The War of Northern Aggression and Southern Secession". 

 

Now Grand Isle, Louisiana is a different story altogether, being the home base of the crew of the famed pirate Jean Lafitte, the real hero of the Battle of New Orleans Descendants of the crew still live on Grand Isle. Coming north through Barataria Bay from Grand Isle to reinforce and supplement Jackson's forces, the men of Lafitte's crew were granted amnesty and US citizenship for their bravery, acumen, and support of Jackson's forces, and ability to turn back the British at Chalmette Plantation. Despite the War of 1812 technically being over, had the British seized New Orleans and thus control of the Mississippi River, they would surely have disavowed the prior signed treaty and pursued control over the US. 

[trimacar]

Marty, we'd best not start talking about The War of Northern Aggression, it seems that now, 160 years later, we have a terrible society because of what the people did then, eight score ago. I marvel how that could be the source of our ills, but that's what they tell me.....

 

I love Louisiana, born and reared there (not born and raised, my father said cattle are raised, children are reared).  What I don't like about Louisiana, in retrospect, is that it was a desert when it came to old cars.

 

In 1964, when I got my first antique car at 13 years old, there were some Model A's and T's around, but not much else.  A few Full Classics, a couple of brass cars, but NOTHING like you guys in the Northeast were dealing with.

 

From that viewpoint only, and I mean only, do I wish I'd started out in the heart of old car country.  I'd have more brass cars in my collection, that's a given.  I just was not exposed to them and knew nothing about them, and when I was buying big Classics in the 1980's, I could have just as easily been loading up on really nice early iron.

 

Oh well....

[oldcarfudd]

While I, in the Northeast most of my life, have a southern brass car with no known provenance.  It's an entry level 1912 Buick, Model 35, but it's a southern wide-track, 60" tread instead of the standard 56".

[Jim Bollman]

I have crossed the Mason Dixon line many times over the year, there are signs, but I looked it up to be sure I wasn't miss remembering, but as I thought it serves as the demarcation line between four U.S. states, forming part of the borders of Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, and West Virginia and has since the 1760s. Not sure what the line is trimacar is referring too.

[padgett]

I sorta understand, few realize how far north Mason's and Dixon"s line was. For me the important part was the division between Maryland and Pennsylvania. Even in my yout was made very aware of the difference.

 

Trimacar seems to be referring to where Mid-American English becomes Southern MushMouth.

[trimacar]

2 hours ago, Jim Bollman said:

I have crossed the Mason Dixon line many times over the year, there are signs, but I looked it up to be sure I wasn't miss remembering, but as I thought it serves as the demarcation line between four U.S. states, forming part of the borders of Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, and West Virginia and has since the 1760s. Not sure what the line is trimacar is referring too.

I’m referring to what true Southerners think about who is, and who isn’t, a true Southerner.  If you don’t get it, I understand.  Yes, it’s not the “official” M-D line, but philosophy of life changes along the line I reference.  I appreciate that it’s an obscure reference to many...