Sad story on the way to work this morning

[Matt Harwood]

I'm driving to work this morning, and at a stop sign, I notice a small puddle of oil. Extending from it is a long, inch-wide line of oil, which I follow for 4-5 miles. Up ahead, I see a white Audi A4 sedan with a distraught middle-aged woman standing on the shoulder talking on her cell phone. I stopped to help, already knowing what has happened. I know that if my wife were stranded, I'd want someone to help her, too. It's just what I do.

When I open the hood, there is no sign of oil topside, and none beyond a slight drip coming from somewhere under the plastic underbody panel. I couldn't diagnose where it was coming from, but from the quantity and the fact that it was far worse when the engine was running, I'm guessing the oil line to the turbo (it was a 1.8 turbo--same as my wife's TT) let go, or maybe something with the filter. I dump a spare quart of Mobil 1 that I always carry into the filler and it doesn't run out, so I'm almost certain that it isn't the oil plug. Just out of curiosity, I ask her to crank it. Nothing. I hear the solenoid clicking and the starter humming like it's trying to turn, but the engine is frozen solid and totally DOA. She hopefully asked me if I could "fix" it so it would get her to work, and I told her I was sorry, but there was just no way that would happen. I offered to sit with her until the tow truck arrived and/or give her a ride, but she said her husband was on his way. Apparently, he's "mechanical" she said. I told her I would stick around until he showed up.

So the husband pulls up about 15 minutes later (beige Camry = not "mechanical"). I try to explain to him what has happened and what my theory was. When I told him that I poured some oil into it and he saw the Mobil 1 bottle, he went ballistic and said that was probably why the engine would no longer turn over. "Mobil 1 destroys the seals!" he cried, as if the stuff were acid or something. OK, sure--that's why the factory uses it.

He demanded my information because he was sure that my oil and I were the cause of the problem. Getting a little testy, I pointed to the 4-mile long trail of oil on the road and said that this obviously took a while to happen, certainly not because of 1 quart of oil in an already lunched motor. I said hoped it was the oil line so it might be under warranty, but if not, it'll be expensive. "For you," he said, pointing his finger. Jackass.

At that point, I said something a little less kind than, "Good luck, dummy," and got in the car and drove away without giving him even my first name. Fortunately the allroad doesn't have a front plate, so I don't even think he got that (not that I would worry about responsibility, but it might turn into a headache if he really wanted a fight). Also, I got a big oil smudge on the thigh of my suit trousers. Good thing I have a meeting with the owner of my company this afternoon.

Next time, I'm going to leave the lady in the stranded car to fend for herself.

PS: Dude, that Mobil 1 is expensive stuff. Maybe I should have asked him for the $6 bucks it cost me to dump it into her ruined car. Feh.

[Oldsfan]

Matt,

You did a good thing trying to help. Hopefully someday it will come back around to you. Too bad the lady's husband was a jerk. You know what they say - no good deed goes unpunished.

Paul

[michel88]

Matt I can't believe what a jerk that womans husband was. It goes to prove the old saying "No good deed goes unpunished"

[Guest Johnpaul Ragusa]

I really beleive that you should do good things and commit random acts of kindness. Sadly it mostly goes unnoticed but thats not why we do them. I beleive in God so saying "Karma" is a bit of blasphemy (sp?) but I think it can't hurt to do good deeds.

2 quick stories.

I was at Dunkin Donuts drive thru. I paid for the stranger behind me. No reason, just doing a nice thing. Told the cashier to tell her just to do something nice for someone else. I get out of the lot and am stopped at the traffic light. She pulls up next to me and didnt even nod her head or say thank you.

Conversely, I found a cell phone a few weeks back on the ground at an airport at midenight. Instead of walking over it I picked it up, dialed my own mobile and got the number. I dialed it back and left a voicemail that I found the phone and to call me. I got a call the next day and asked for the address of the owner who was on vacation in FL. I packed and mailed the phone to her, not asking for pastage or anything. I got a lovely card back a week later thanking me and a $25 Visa gift card to boot.

Net of this is keep doing nice things. Assholes will always be out there but it shouldnt stop you from being the better person.

[Peter Gariepy]

Do not underestimate the power of positive karma. Forget the negatives.

Peter

[West Peterson]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Johnpaul Ragusa</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I really beleive that you should do good things and commit random acts of kindness.

I was at Dunkin Donuts drive thru. I paid for the stranger behind me. No reason, just doing a nice thing. </div></div>

I did the same thing, once, at Wendy's. The cashier was having some problems, so while waiting, I started joking with her. She thought it was funny, but the guy in the car behind me evidently thought I was wasting time and yelled, "just order, will ya!" My family was with me. When I got to the cashier, I handed her my charge card and told her I wanted to pay for the guy behind me as well.

I was not interested in any "thanks," or apologies, and took off quickly so that he couldn't catch up to me (even if he wanted to). I just hope that he received the message, and becomes more patient in the future.

[RocketDude]

You only had to deal with the guy for a few minutes, the poor lady has to live with him every day...!

[R W Burgess]

Pulled up to the Cheasapeake Bay Bridge (Annapolis, MD) toll booth one morning behind a young lady's car trying to pay her toll. I noticed the loose clothing on the back parcel shelf, should've been a clue. Finally after I noticed her head dipping below the front seat numerous times, I realized she was trying to find enough loose change to pay her tool. Other vehicles around me were getting antsy, so I jumped out my truck, went up to the booth and paid the shortage of her toll. She was happy, I was happy, and a bunch of commuters behind me were happy.

Made my day feel a little better.

Wayne

[Restorer32]

A few months ago my Son dropped his wallet with cash, driver's license, credit cards etc apparently in a Home Depot parking lot in Wash DC. I told him to forget it so he cancelled cards etc. Several days later a young lady speaking broken English phoned. She worked for the store and found his wallet and put it in the store safe. Even went to the trouble to track down our shop # from enclosed business cards. Son retrieved his wallet, couldn't even get the lady to accept lunch money. Restored my faith in human beings.

[mrpushbutton]

I'm from Detroit born and raised. We have a system here:

GM, Ford, Chevy--stop and help

Import--Rotsa ruck!

Unless there is something really wrong, then it's time to just be a good person.

[Matt Harwood]

I know I would have regretted not stoping all day if I hadn't. One has to take opportunities to do good when they present themselves, especially since dozens of cars passed her without doing anything. Gotta hold on to the belief that there's good in the world.

When I was 22, I broke down on the side of the highway with some friends a long way from home. We sat there for an hour (there were no cell phones in those days, and we were in the middle of nowhere) before a fellow in a greasy John Deere cap with a clapped-out pickup truck stopped. He picked us up, took us to a friend's shop where they had a tow truck, and got our car first in line when they towed it back. We were on the road in a few hours. I tried to repay him, and all he said to me was, "Make sure you vote," and drove off. I didn't even learn his name. Goddamn, that was some good karma.

That one simple act of kindness has had a significant impact on my life and that fellow is why I stop. He put a lot of good in the world for about an hour's worth of his time.

Now that I've had some time to think about it, I think the husband was pretty jumped up for a variety of reasons. He did yell at the wife first and asked her if she saw the light on the dash come on and if so, why the hell did she keep driving? (Her answer: "I thought I could make it.") Just yesterday I gave my wife an earful for leaving the TT's top down all night in the rain. It happens, but it's upsetting and you want to assign blame right away, even though it doesn't solve the problem. I at least understand, though jumping on a stranger is a long way from lecturing your wife.

Also, I think a lot of people, myself included, often try to deflect blame given a bad situation that will either reveal one's stupidity or cost a lot of money. Perhaps I was just an easy target after he realized that he was facing an expensive repair bill, and Mobil 1 eating seals is apparently a very pervasive myth. Perhaps he changed the oil and screwed it up, who knows? Looking at him, I wouldn't give him credit for figuring out how to get the car in the air, but I can't really say for sure.

I'm not a violent guy, so no kudos to me for not taking a swing at him, but I did try to keep a civil tongue in my mouth, and mostly succeeded.

I didn't post this to sound like a hero, I posted it more because it was a real bummer that a cool little car died for a stupid reason. I also wanted to remind you that if there's a chance to help someone in need, take it.

[mrpushbutton]

Matt, never give the wife an earful for anything she has done, no matter how wrong--women always have 10 things you have done "wrong" lately banked up for just such a discussion.

<span style="font-style: italic">"when I was single I looked to find Miss right--I didn't know her first name was "Always"

Rodney Dangerfield</span>

[RocketDude]

There was a story in the news not too long ago. Two guys were going down the road and witnessed a car go out of control and roll into the ditch. The stopped and ran over to help. Two of the guys in the wreaked car were out and ok, the third guy was still in the car, and in bad shape. While the two good Samaritans were trying to help guy number three, guys one and two stole their car and took off. Wasn't long before they wreaked that one too. They were all drunk and had stolen the first car, also.

Life is full of surprises..!

[Ron Green]

Unfortunately it seems that the mentality of many have the same attitude as Mr. Jerk, pity his wife.

A person of rare intelligence... It's rare when he shows any.

Always needs to have jokes explained.

Got in touch with reality, but it was a bad connection.

Has a divide-by-zero look on his face.

So dumb, he puts postage stamps on outgoing faxes.

So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.

The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.

Whizzes on his shoes and thinks it's raining.

[West Peterson]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mrpushbutton</div><div class="ubbcode-body">never give the wife an earful for anything she has done, no matter how wrong--women always have 10 things you have done wrong lately banked up for just such a discussion.

</div></div>

Boy, ain't that the truth.

[24T42]

PS - it is also said that we have very, very long memories.

[joe_padavano]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Johnpaul Ragusa</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...I was at Dunkin Donuts drive thru....She pulls up next to me and didnt even nod her head or say thank you. </div></div>

I'm a certified cynic, so for all you know, the cashier pocketed your extra payment and still charged the next customer full price.

[72caddy]

Just remember that his actions are a reflection of him, not of you.

Think about what is going to happen in the future when this couple tells this story - she will want to tell it because you tried to help; the husband will look like an ass everytime the story is told --and I bet she will re-tell the story every time she wants to make 'a point' to him when they are in a group setting.

This guy will regret his actions for a long time. You, you'll probably replace this story with some of the many times you helped and it was a pleasent experence.

[Shop Rat]

Then there are the guys that do the honorable thing and own up to what they did and that something was totally their fault.

About twenty-three years ago my then twelve-year-old step-son and I were on our way home from the barn where I kept my first horse. As we passed the end of the exit ramp off of the interstate a guy gunned his car forward to get across traffic. It was daylight but I had full headlights etc. on and he still missed seeing my car and thought my new, gun-metal blue/gray Chrysler New Yorker was a gap in traffic and he hit the car right behind the rear wheelwell. I saw him coming and tried to get out of his way but my car just didn't move fast enough since it was headed up hill and his was heading down hill.

He admitted not only to the police officer that it was his fault but he called my husband to explain that I had tried my best to get out of his way and that it was in no way my fault. He said he knew how he might feel if his wife brought home the brand new car with the rear fender torn up on it. For his honesty we only took enough insurance money to actually fix the car not any extra. We were wearing our seatbelts so there were no injuries. Neither of us was going the speed limit either so that helped too.

There are still people that do the right thing for the right reasons.

[jeff_a]

Matt,

Sorry your attempt to help didn't work out better. Did you get a chance to tell them that you and your wife own an Audi with the same engine type? I suppose the husband was going to be in a bad mood, no matter who you were.

I remember a different story ( but same type of guy ) that a farmer near Manhattan, Kansas told me. One Sunday afternoon, a guy with a new BMW got his car stuck in the mud when he went off the road near his place. Larry fired up his tractor and drove over to pull him out. While he was down in the mud, attaching his chains to some suitable tow-points, the guy yells: "Make sure you don't damage anything on my $40,000 car!". Larry holds his temper, but unhooks the chains, puts them back in the John Deere, and quietly tells the guy: "I wouldn't want to damage anything on my $80,000 tractor, either. Call Triple-A." Then he drives back home in the tractor.

[Guest Johnpaul Ragusa]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: joe_padavano</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Johnpaul Ragusa</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...I was at Dunkin Donuts drive thru....She pulls up next to me and didnt even nod her head or say thank you. </div></div>

I'm a certified cynic, so for all you know, the cashier pocketed your extra payment and still charged the next customer full price. </div></div>

You know its funny I thought the same thing. I know the guys at Dunkin Donuts pretty well as I stop there 2 or 3x a day for coffee (and maybe an occasional donut) but I thought to wait. I saw her hand him $2 and he pointed at my car which was at the end of the lot and she pulled it back in. Thats when I turned the corner.

[Bhigdog]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Matt, never give the wife an earful for anything she has done, no matter how wrong-- </div></div>

If your wife goes to the garage and pushes the "open" button when the door is already open, and the door closes, and then backs into the now closed door, it is VERY poor form to say "how could you be so stupid". Do not ask me how I know that is so................Bob

[Guest windjamer]

I think I told someone on this forum this story once befor,but a number of years ago a guy pulls up to the shop runs in and yells, Have you got a fire extinguser?? He grabs one off the wall and runs back out to his car,sticks his head under the dash and starts to spray. I dont know what is in them but it made him choke and pass out and quit breathing. Boss yanks him out of the car and starts C.P.R. I call the fire company. Thuck gets there fire is out guy is breathing ok life is good,boss ask him to pay for fire ext. Guy gets all pi--ed off but finaly writes the boss a check to cover the ext. You guessed it the check bounced.Guess you just have to look for the humor sometimes

[JohnD1956]

John Paul,

More than likely she thought one of two things ( or possibly both).

1) You owed her for making her delayed getting through.

2) you were some sore of pervert trying to lure her with a free donut hole.

She may not have acknowledged you at that light but I'm sure she muttered some choice words about you anyway.

[Guest simplyconnected]

Everyone has his story, but few want to hear it. That's life in the fast lane, only the helpless appreciate random acts of kindness. Everyone else is just too busy and pointing fingers of blame at someone else.

We need to count our blessings on a regular basis. The problem is, we have to stop to do it, and nobody has time for that.

If my wife was stuck on the road and you stopped, I would have bought you a case of Mobil 1. But, that's me. I help stranded motorists whenever I can, too. Bar none, all of them were genuinely grateful.

Please don't let one idiot spoil your charity for others. Next time, you might find ME on the side of the road. I'd be mighty obliged if you stop.

Too bad the "Oil Guru" wasn't in that car instead of his wife. Bet his attitude would've been different.

Dave Dare

[mrpushbutton]

And if your wife puts her minivan in the ditch in front of your house because it just snowed and she couldn't see the driveway don't point out that the driveway always lines up with the garage doors, snow or no snow.

Don't ask me how I know that.

<span style="font-style: italic">If a man says something in the middle of a forest and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?</span>

[Dave@Moon]

In a lighter vein, when I was a kid my father had to bail out a neighbor who'd been stranded accross town (about 35 miles away). She'd driven her husband to the airport, and the car died on the way back.

The car had no guages, only idiot lights.

My dad found her on the side of the interstate. He checked the car out, putting her her safely in his. He came back to her laughing.

<span style="font-style: italic">"Were any of the dash lights on before it died?"

"Yes, the HOT light came on, and after a few minutes the OIL light came on too, but I figured it couldn't be bad enough for me not to make it home." </span>(<span style="text-decoration: underline">35 miles, remember!</span>)

<span style="font-style: italic">"Well what happened is this: First the lower radiator hose blew off, losing <span style="text-decoration: underline">all</span> of your coolent. Next, because it was overheating, you had a seal fail losing <span style="text-decoration: underline">all</span> of your oil. Both the crankcase and the radiator are completely empty! But don't worry, that's not why the car quit. In fact the engine's cranking fine."

"So what happened?"

"You ran out of gas before you did any real damage!"</span>

He was still laughing when he got home.

Gas, coolent and oil later the car was back home (taping the blown hose). A new hose and seal later everything was fine.

================

Sometimes you have to wonder about the judgement abilities ot those who need help by the side of the road. The lady in the Audi obviously drove the car with every light on the dash lit for some time, seizing the motor. Someone who's going to do this is not going to have a logical reaction to help either.

[JalopyBob]

They say that you can tell the true character of a man by

the way that he treats someone who can do nothing for him.

Matt's character was displayed by stopping to help. The

character of the womans husband showed that it was mostly absent. Keep stopping to help.

[Guest elmo39]

Matt i'm sorry but jerk is not the right word for that guy , we might be a little behind here in NZ,as here it would take two words to describe him but i dont think they would be allowed on this site . thank goodness we dont have the problem (yet)of lawyers wanting to sue every one for the smallest reason .any way i always stop if i see anyone in trouble on the road , i like to think others would do the same for me

[Amphicar BUYER]

I believe in Karma! He will get his and you will get yours. He gets to still be an a-hole and you, my friend will still be a generous, respectable and kind man.

A couple years ago I got a call from a lady about an Amphicar in Cleveland she wanted to sell. We talked about it a few times but did not come up with a price as she did not have photos yet. I got a call from her because a guy (who I happened to know and will not hesitate to screw you) was offering her $3000 for it and wondered if she should sell. I said I could do better and after some time I offered her several times that even though I know I could have bought it for the $3k. She took my offer.

When I went to pick it up she said there were some "extra parts" included. A whole pickup truck load (longbed and back seat of a 4door F-250) plus we filled the car's trunk and passenger compartment too! A large collection of dealer and truly rare factory memorabilia was there too. Then she said "Oh yea, my dad drove the Beatles to the concert in Cleveland in August of 1966 in that car" It just kept getting better! The parts alone were worth 75% of what I paid for the car not to mention the historical value.

So I truly believe that my honesty (Karma) came into play that day. I always try to help because it could be me or a loved one that needs the help. Kudos to you Matt!

[oldcarfudd]

Re karma: One of the better bumper stickers I ever saw was: "My karma ran over my dogma".

Alex Joyce, former HCCA president, tells one about a fellow driving a Stanley Steamer on a steam car tour out west many years ago. He stopped at a remote village store, bought something small (like a candy bar) so as not to seem a total mooch, and asked if he could have water for his Stanley. The store owner directed him to a hose at the side, lying in a pool of dirty water. The hose was full of pin holes and leaked like a sieve. The Stanley driver carefully wiped the hose clean, duct-taped all the holes, filled his Stanley, neatly coiled the hose, and put it in a dry place. When he went in to thank the store owner, the owner said: "I've got one of those cars out back in a shed. Wanna see it?" Pretty soon the Stanley driver owned another Stanley. He asked the fellow why, with all the steam cars that had come by his store that day, the store owner had shown the old Stanley only to him. The response: "I liked the way you treated my hose."

Some of you will have read that I was in an accident in Florida in February, when an out-of-control jackass in a big SUV skidded out of the driving lane and did a number on my parked 1907 Cadillac. All the witnesses were other old car nuts. The perpetrator, when he wasn't lecturing us (!), was yacking on his cell phone. After about 40 minutes another car pulled up and a truly sleazy-looking young specimen emerged - ratty hair, unkempt beard, stud in his lip, in-your-face message on his T-shirt. We all thought the perpetrator had called for reinforcements. The young man came up to me, shook my hand, and said: "I'm very sorry you lost your car. Iwas driving the other way and saw the whole thing. I had my infant with me and was taking her to day care, so I couldn't stop. But I've taken care of that now, and I wanted to come back and be your witness." Then he went over and talked to the cop. The next time I'm tempted to judge someone by his appearance, I'll remember him.

[CarlLaFong]

Some years ago I was at a redlight and noticed that the car ahead of me, a fairly late model Continental, had flames coming from the underside. I blew my horn and tried to motion to the driver. He turned, glared at me and flipped me off. There were a number of cars ahead of him. so I ended up catching the next red light also. When I finally made it across the intersection, I found him about half a mile up, his car half engulfed in flames, beating it with his jacket. I slowly approached, tooted my horn again, flashed my biggest grin and flipped him off. Still makes me smile to this day.

[Ron Green]

Speaking of flames. This morning I saw all this smoke up ahead and thought that this truck was on fire. Turns out it was a large street sweeper sitting there running with the brushes turning and the driver nowhere in site. It was producing a huge dust plume and I believe the driver was off somewhere getting a coffee?

[ex98thdrill]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The next time I'm tempted to judge someone by his appearance, I'll remember him</div></div>Not to change the subject too much, I have my own take on this.

About 11 years ago a local person tried to hire a hit man to kill his ex-wife. He was arrested, and bail was set at $75,000. This guy was wearing filthy clothes, he was dirty, he stunk, and if you didn't know any better you'd swear that he was a homeless man. After bail was set at $75,000 this guy reaches in his pocket pulled out the $75,000, posted his bail and told us all we were number one in his life (you know which finger). This guy didn't believe in soap, but he also didn't believe in spending money or putting it in a bank neither.

That was my lesson in never judging someone by their appearance, and I'll never forget it.

[Richard1]

I've been stranded and gotten help (once a can to put gasoline in for the roof to siphon to the carburetor, once someone loaned me a tire to complete the last 400 miles of my trip, probably a few more), and I've stopped to help many. So far this year I've returned a couple of cel phones from airport floors, and about 30 years ago returned a cashier's check for $3,000.

When my son broke his leg I ran out to my car (in my suit) (in South Florida heat) and found a flat tire. As I sweated to change it a kid drove up and started watching. When I finished he told me he had always wondered how to change a tire.

I feel that if you treat the world the way you want to be treated (with certain caution) and the odds are better than even it will get better.

[Matt Harwood]

You guys never fail to impress me. Great stories!

[Jay Wolf]

Maybe AACA should publish and Anonymous list like BMWMOA does. (BMW Motorcycle Owners Association)

"BMW MOA Anonymous book. Published annually with updated material, this book lists BMW MOA members who are willing to aid and assist (as indicated) in cases of emergency or just sociability. Listings are coded by phone numbers only and indicate degrees of services, abilities, parts, etc. available to BMW MOA riders requiring emergency help, simple directions or just a hot cup of coffee with a smiling friendly face attached. Over 12,000+ members are currently listed and as a BMW MOA member you will discover the Anonymous Book as an invaluable security blanket and an absolutely safety tool when touring anywhere, anytime."

Code list things such as if you have.

Tools,

Repair knowledge and of which models.

A trailer,

place to store a bike.

A yard to camp in

an extra room.

or just coffee and conversation.

Even a place to say how far you are willing to travel to help someone.

Every body is listed by location so it is easy to find someone near where you are having the problem.

I have been in BMWMOA for over 25+ years and I have received about 5 calls. 3 looking for information, Campgrounds, best roads etc. One a couple with flat tire on a Sunday and most bike shops are closed on Mondays. They lucked out I had a used tire to fit their bike and they were off later that afternoon and I had one less tire to dispose of. The other was an accident. The guy was Ok but his wife hurt her leg and was in a local Hospital. I picked him up from the hospital took him to get a motel room and then the next morning took him to rent a car so he could pick up his wife and head home.