Do you talk to your project cars?

[Jack Bennett]

I was criticized for talking to myself while I’m working. To this I reply, “If you think I  am good at talking to myself, you should also know what a good listener I am”.

The lifelong process of “aging” begins on day one, and ends when our numbers run out. So, today is as young as you’ll ever be, and tomorrow you will join the geriatric crowd who likes to say “I remember when”.

As we age, the thinking process becomes more analytical, and doing things the “easy” way loses importance to doing things the “right” way. This may explain why the car driven daily doesn’t have a ceramic coated exhaust manifold, but our classic car does. It may be the reason that every nick and scratch in the glistening surfaces of our antique carriages is treated like a fatal wound, and may bring us to near tears, while the rear bumper of the Volvo or Mercedes is left hanging by a thin coat of paint while we wait for the insurance agent to call.

I have looked inside my aging brain, and I see an edifice with many…..many rooms. While one of the rooms may contain the persona I wear as a Uncle when Timmy and little Susie comes over with my older brother, and the “Brother” persona is what I wear when I talk to my brother. 
Naturally, I keep costumes to wear as a “Father”, “Husband”, “Son”, “Good”/“Bad” Friend, “Boss” and “Employee” handy to use as either a comfortable set of appearances befitting the role of the minute, or a ruse to escape a equally uncomfortable situation.

Of course there are countless more available, and patiently awaiting, in their own rooms for use to (sometimes) frantically impress someone that we want to believe that we are a good, or bad………..whatever.

But, behind one door is a mystery, and this room may smell of rust dust, old oil, rotted fabric, cracked rubber and blood from countless cuts and has a dull purple hue from bruises suffered every where on your body. Of course, the smell of money lingers in places where the money, from which the smell originally stemmed, has long been spent on a Moto Meter or a neat radiator badge.

And there is “Lizzie”, in all her chromed splendor and exotic, almost erotic, upholstery.

How can a person, who has withstood a day in the world of virtual reality, had to withstand the inclination to tell that snippy boss “I quit”, not understand what toll another day of aging, (after all, isn’t she nearly a hundred years old) extracts from a person. But, telling “Lizzie” about it will make things all better…….and the room she lives in contains no  hidden persona’s, and “Lizzie” wouldn’t criticize even if the one you brought in was a little natty and shop worn.

Behind that classic, and beautifully chromed grill, beats a heart of pure mechanical genius, and there is not one single molecule of judgmental steel in her curvy body.

So, perhaps the question “Do you talk to your project cars” should more aptly be “Why don’t you talk to your project cars more often”?
Jack

Edited December 3, 2023 by Jack Bennett (see edit history)

[keiser31]

Whenever I go out to the garage I pat my cars and tell them, "I will get to work on you soon".

Edited December 3, 2023 by keiser31 (see edit history)

[rocketraider]

If I didn't swear inventively at mine, they would think I didn't love or want them anymore.

 

The late Toronado guru and maven Ralph Braun used to tell me "speak kind words to Toronasaurus Rex" when the 69 Toronado was pushing my limits of patience.

 

Ralph didn't have to live with His Lizardness!🦖😄

[Jack Bennett]

6 minutes ago, rocketraider said:

If I didn't swear inventively at mine, they would think I didn't love or want them anymore.

 

The late Toronado guru and maven Ralph Braun used to tell me "speak kind words to Toronasaurus Rex" when the 69 Toronado was pushing my limits of patience.

 

Ralph didn't have to live with His Lizardness!🦖😄

Toronasaurus Rex………love it!😂.

[Bhigdog]

When my 55 Century was undergoing  MAJOR reconstructive surgery and was cut to pieces i wondered how it felt at night alone in the dark. I started leaving on a small light and a radio tuned to a classical station. 

We both felt better, i am sure......bob

[Jack Bennett]

19 minutes ago, keiser31 said:

Whenever I go out to the garage I pat my cars and tell them, "I will get work on you soon".

In Army Recruiting School we had a mandatory requirement to read the book “Pats and Strokes”, and write a 500 word thesis on what it meant.

For me, this was a real problem because, using only 500 words, placed a serious limit on what I could have wrote.

Have you considered the grace which your car received the tiny bit of attention (the pat), and the great feeling, its (stroke) gave you, because you knew the exchange was totally spontaneous, and, without any commitment to define “soon”. 
Had you patted another person on the head, and told them “you’d get to work on them soon”, I doubt that the pleasurable moment of camaraderie would have went so well.

Jack

[Walt G]

Fender and hood "pats" - yep on a regular basis, every time I go in the garage on the Buick and Packard. They are a decade apart, so "kids" of different generations but still so much alike.

This "talking " goes for projects I work on beyond the cars - restoring the pre war toy cars, lubricating every so often the Wurlitzer jukebox or hand cranked music boxes and record players. they are all older then I am so I have to show respect as they were new or nearly new when either my father or grandfather were young.

I even ask the period sales catalogs, periodicals, photos, manuals, dealer books etc I use in research to write stories ' 'so what are you going to tell me about now'...... I am a good listener too so know when they "speak" to me just to listen and observe.

You look and work on an old toy and ask yourself and them " so what journey in your life have you been all these years  on and whose lives have you affected?"

[marcapra]

I tried that, but my 48 DeSoto doesn't respond to talk.  The only thing it understands is hard, greasy, mechanical labor!  

[Jack Bennett]

12 minutes ago, Walt G said:

Fender and hood "pats" - yep on a regular basis, every time I go in the garage on the Buick and Packard. They are a decade apart, so "kids" of different generations but still so much alike.

This "talking " goes for projects I work on beyond the cars - restoring the pre war toy cars, lubricating every so often the Wurlitzer jukebox or hand cranked music boxes and record players. they are all older then I am so I have to show respect as they were new or nearly new when either my father or grandfather were young.

I even ask the period sales catalogs, periodicals, photos, manuals, dealer books etc I use in research to write stories ' 'so what are you going to tell me about now'...... I am a good listener too so know when they "speak" to me just to listen and observe.

You look and work on an old toy and ask yourself and them " so what journey in your life have you been all these years  on and whose lives have you affected?"

No classing or ranking intended…..but I admire your honesty and insight.

If you have ever fired a night fire exercise with a tank cupola mounted, Browning M-2, .50 caliber, heavy barrel machine gun, you can equate what I say when I, truly, and without shame, feel affection for a piece of steel which goes far beyond any feeling I have ever had for another human.

Granted, I never hugged or kissed my machine gun, and it is easily understood why not, but it does speak a language even a fool can understand, and I seriously believe it understood me even when my vocabulary would make a sailor blush.

Now, my old machines have replaced the .50 caliber as my confidant.

Jack

[Jack Bennett]

3 minutes ago, marcapra said:

I tried that, but my 48 DeSoto doesn't respond to talk.  The only thing it understands is hard, greasy, mechanical labor!  

One time ignore it, and try to slather your salve without a tad of affection. 
My machines rely on a hereunto little understood force called “gravity” to keep them running.

Accordingly, your old car relies on your ability to understand the electrical impulses which allow the primary winding of a direct current coil to “talk” to a spark plug which speaks only “pulsating direct current” via a set of ignition points which speaks neither language to run properly.

Just maybe, your 48 DeSoto is capable of responding to your touch because it also understands the electricity broadcast by your thoughts while you are doing it.

Forbid the days when the DeSoto won’t listen, gets on a perpetual peeve, and it simply refuses to start, run or stop.

Doesn’t this really bring on a verbal tirade of a un mechanical nature?

Maybe it can understand how to communicate with you in ways you are yet to learn.

Jack

 

 

[Fordy]

Yes, I talk to my cars and projects and they do talk back in their own language. If you listen to what they tell you then they will seldom let you down. The odd clunk or rattle is part of its vocabulary to let you know that something is not right and they are feeling a little off. 

When working on recalcitrant parts it is quite often just some quiet muttering of directed threats that will free up an otherwise stubborn item.

Steve

[Jack Bennett]

1 hour ago, rocketraider said:

If I didn't swear inventively at mine, they would think I didn't love or want them anymore.

 

The late Toronado guru and maven Ralph Braun used to tell me "speak kind words to Toronasaurus Rex" when the 69 Toronado was pushing my limits of patience.

 

Ralph didn't have to live with His Lizardness!🦖😄

I suppose “insanity” is a figurative term when used to describe its meaning to a person afflicted with “insanity”.

I mean to say that the logic of  speaking to a car, or any machine, may not be  easily explainable to a machine incapable of answering. Likewise, it may be so evident to the person who does it, that no explanation is necessary.

That put me here, and the here, at this place in time, is that I also have a dog, which barks and whines, but can’t talk…….using any language I understand anyway.

So, it is more for my own sense of well being that I leave the television tuned in to Dr. Pol, Yukon Vets, Critter Fixers or another pet oriented program, rather than Dateline or History’s Mysteries, when I leave her unattended for any length of time

The dog may not understand the scenarios played out in the program, but she sure understands when I neglect to turn it on.

Jack

 

[Mr. Don]

For me, myself and I, it's my tools! They help me make, maintain, and repair things. This they have done for many years, and "they" have accumulated much wisdom and that only comes with application, effort, and some injury. (I'll call that wear)

 

My mill and lathe, and my two favorite vises all have lives. They talk to me, and I wisely listen.

 

(Thats what craftsmen do)

[Hemi Joel]

I don't usually cuss. But my project cars, or their parts, have learned every swear word in the book. 

[7th Son]

I've often wondered about old car guys, but now I know...and to think they're right out there among us!

 

 

[Gary_Ash]

Yes, I talk to the cars in the garage, play music to soothe them.  They are watched over by Larkina, the Service Manager, a voluptuous clothing store manequin dressed in a shop coat, sweater, slacks, and long scarf.  She is a good listener, never argues with me.  Some times, when I have human visitors, they first start looking at the cars and only later do they look up, see Larkina in the back of the garage, and freeze in shock.  I swear I have seen her wink.

The garage with three of the five Studebakers.

 

 Larkina, the service manager.

Edited December 3, 2023 by Gary_Ash (see edit history)

[Mike "Hubbie" Stearns]

When I was on the fire department and we had a fire run, I would usually run the pumper. I have had 6 different chiefs in the 30+ years on the department. 5 of them told me that if I were on seen, I was to be at the pumper. They all asked how I could run it so well. I would reply by saying they are my mistresses and you need to treat them as such. You need to caress them and they won’t let us down. I’m no longer on the department, but still see my mistresses at least once a year and have introduced them to the newest mistress. I believe that talking to them helps both of us. They know we care and they will talk back in their own language. You just have to listen. Mike

[Lee H]

I’ve owned my ‘62 Lincoln (Marilyn) for over 35 years, and I know she listens. But she has a cruel sense of humor. Especially on a long trip, if you even attempt a brag on how well she’s running to a passenger or bystander, she likes to break down. Nothing very serious (usually), just enough to remind you that she’s in charge.

 

For years now, nobody in the car is allowed to even mention how well things are going until we are safely home.

[Paul Dobbin]

12 minutes ago, Lee H said:

I’ve owned my ‘62 Lincoln (Marilyn) for over 35 years, and I know she listens. But she has a cruel sense of humor. Especially on a long trip, if you even attempt a brag on how well she’s running to a passenger or bystander, she likes to break down. Nothing very serious (usually), just enough to remind you that she’s in charge.

 

For years now, nobody in the car is allowed to even mention how well things are going until we are safely home.

  Yes, I talk to my dogs and my cars.   Have to keep them all happy and appreciated.

[Captain Harley]

When I'm closing up my shop for the day.  I always say good night to my two girls:  "Virginia" a 1931 Model-A Ford roadster and "The Phantom" my mild custom '65 HD Panhead.😄

 

Capt. Harley😉

 

"Skirts are for Women not Car Fenders"

[Bhigdog]

Since this thread has a definite anthropomorphic bent, even to the point of assigning gender to an inanimate object, I thought I'd resurrect a semi true but highly stylized post concerning my 55 Buick and "her" Sonomatic radio. I wrote it one cold March nite while lying in bed.

 

As I lie in my bed tonight, listening to the cold March wind, I think of my Sonomatic in my 55. Cold. Alone. I think of sliding in beside her. I hesitate as I reach for her knobs.  Am I stupid for thinking I can turn her on at such a late hour and on such a cold night? I gently turn her switch. I'm joyed to see the soft welcoming glow on her face and hear the soft  hum of her vibrator. I can imagine her power transformer stirring to life as he feels the pulses surging through his windings. Her cold filaments, responding to the stimulations, begin to glow a soft pink. Her plates feeling the inrush of warm energy long to pass it on. Her wires are willing but her resistors say no. Not yet. It's too soon. But his capacitors will not be denied.  Growing ever more charged and surging with energy until they can hold back no longer they empty themselves into her waiting speaker.

Softly she sings me to sleep..................Bob

Edited December 3, 2023 by Bhigdog (see edit history)

[ramair]

As a Toronado guy, I love the “Toronasaurus Rex”

when I was dating my wife back in the Eighties I had a 1978 Toronado which was one of larger Toro’s she called it “Boatus Maximus”

[edinmass]

Talk to my car? No way!

 

Im too busy arguing with the voices in my head!

[erichill]

Only of swearing counts.  

[Ed Luddy]

I usually only swear loudly at my machines, due to my lack of patience or my mis- diagnosis of a problem. But I do admit to patting the faux woodgrain dash on many of them urging them on to get me home!

[Crusty Trucker]

The only way I'd be caught talking to a car would be in the case of reincarnation. It would have to be a 1915 Canadian McLaughlin, not a '29 Porter.

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=my+mother+the+car+youtube&rlz=1CAEAQE_enUS748US748&oq=my+motherthecar&aqs=chrome.5.69i57j46i13i512j0i13i512j46i13i512j0i13i512l2j46i13i512j0i13i512l2.21382j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:e8cac4ab,vid:NBiTFduYCp0,st:0

 

 

Edited December 4, 2023 by Crusty Trucker (see edit history)

[Porsche 68]

8 hours ago, keiser31 said:

Whenever I go out to the garage I pat my cars and tell them, "I will get to work on you soon".

I do the same to my 34 dodge coupe I tell her good morning and good night and give a pat on the headlight. John

[Jack Bennett]

On 12/3/2023 at 6:45 PM, Porsche 68 said:

I do the same to my 34 dodge coupe I tell her good morning and good night and give a pat on the headlight. John

Honesty is really a booger when it comes to sharing our personal space with things other than another human. I really think more people talk to their dogs, cats, tools……and…….yep, cars than will admit it. 

[Littlestown Mike]

" Anthropromorphism"  
How many threads/ forums on the net manage to work THAT word into the conversation?   By the way, what is the plural of "forum"?--I think Latin scholars would make it " fori"---but I have never seen that written.

A very interesting group, here.  I feel i am among friends---some daffy friends to be sure, but friends.

I always talk when I am in the garage working on solutions--where else can i get an expert opinion?  or two or three?

I also say "sorry" when I do something stupid that breaks a bolt or a part.

[TAKerry]

Only when I smash a finger whilst working on something, and I would not classify it as talking TO as much as AT!

[Paul Dobbin]

On 12/3/2023 at 6:06 PM, Bhigdog said:

Since this thread has a definite anthropomorphic bent, even to the point of assigning gender to an inanimate object, I thought I'd resurrect a semi true but highly stylized post concerning my 55 Buick and "her" Sonomatic radio. I wrote it one cold March nite while lying in bed.

 

As I lie in my bed tonight, listening to the cold March wind, I think of my Sonomatic in my 55. Cold. Alone. I think of sliding in beside her. I hesitate as I reach for her knobs.  Am I stupid for thinking I can turn her on at such a late hour and on such a cold night? I gently turn her switch. I'm joyed to see the soft welcoming glow on her face and hear the soft  hum of her vibrator. I can imagine her power transformer stirring to life as he feels the pulses surging through his windings. Her cold filaments, responding to the stimulations, begin to glow a soft pink. Her plates feeling the inrush of warm energy long to pass it on. Her wires are willing but her resistors say no. Not yet. It's too soon. But his capacitors will not be denied.  Growing ever more charged and surging with energy until they can hold back no longer they empty themselves into her waiting speaker.

Softly she sings me to sleep..................Bob

Bob.  sounds like you need a woman in your 55 Buick.

[Jack Bennett]

2 hours ago, Littlestown Mike said:

" Anthropromorphism"  
How many threads/ forums on the net manage to work THAT word into the conversation?   By the way, what is the plural of "forum"?--I think Latin scholars would make it " fori"---but I have never seen that written.

A very interesting group, here.  I feel i am among friends---some daffy friends to be sure, but friends.

I always talk when I am in the garage working on solutions--where else can i get an expert opinion?  or two or three?

I also say "sorry" when I do something stupid that breaks a bolt or a part.

So…….a friend builds a nifty bridge across their koi pond. They have never built a bridge before, and you’ve never seen a bridge across a koi pond.

It is as normal for you to walk to the middle of the bridge and start bouncing like crazy, as it is to float new words on a forum like this.

If it doesn’t break, you’ve proven yourself a good friend and a battle tested bridge expert. But, if it does break, the friend is lucky a competent bridge tester, as you now are now, was the one who broke it. 

I was once told that I should not use any word that I had to look up its meaning.
I have managed to ignore that for many decades, and still use words I look up……not to ascertain what the word means to you.

And, in the case of your word, and keeping with the spirit of a AACA forum…..I don’t know the plural either…..I would morph your word into a new word “Autothromorphism”, and since looking it up will be useless, I will use it to describe what a truly crappy guy becomes when he is in the presence of his beautifully restored antique car……and asks it for advice🤓.

 

[Jack Bennett]

7 minutes ago, Paul Dobbin said:

Bob.  sounds like you need a woman in your 55 Buick.

I think I’ve seen the documentary version of this on a television program called “My strange addiction”.

 

[Bhigdog]

1 hour ago, Jack Bennett said:

I think I’ve seen the documentary version of this on a television program called “My strange addiction”.

My guiding principle is: Nothing in moderation. Do it until you make yourself sick..............Bob

[Xander Wildeisen]

I have told you over and over again, to sit there and be quite. And you refuse to listen. I have given you every chance to conform to the rules of the shop. And you continue to be disruptive and insulting to the other cars. So it has come to this, you leave me with no other option. And let this also serve as an example to the other cars, what happens when you get out of line.