Snubbed by the youngsters?

[Matt Harwood]

At 51 I'm still one of the younger people in the hobby. Melanie and I are very active--she organizes and manages the oldest car show in the country each Father's Day with 450+ cars, I create the magazine, I've been director of the region, we organize tours and host events at our shop, including a cruise-in every Friday and a large show in July.

 

Nevertheless, at the Father's Day show, one of the older members flat out said to me as she was gossiping with three other people who were supposed to be helping to park cars, "You young people need to learn to pull your weight. You don't do enough for the club."

 

At that moment, I almost told her to cram it and quit everything. It was unbelievably insulting. Biatch, where do you think this club would be right now without me and Melanie? You'd still be trying to mail entry forms to people who have been dead for a decade, having half-blind octogenarians look for people's name in a box of envelopes while radiators steamed waiting 45 minutes to get into the show, and publishing a magazine that was mimeographed and stapled together at the corners full of black and white photos scotch taped to the page. Things are so good for them these days that they don't even notice, but they act like it was their work who got them there. Pffft.

 

Holy crap was I angry.

[Ben Bruce aka First Born]

Matt,  you just have to get a THICK skin. 

 We all, of all ages, do an say some DUMB things.  Thank God we are not all the same.  May be saying one now, but why should we care if the "hobby" survives? Survival or not will have no effect on me/us.  Just smile an enjoy. 

 

 Ben

 Octogenarian Hack.🤪

[Walt G]

Matt you had every right to be angry. I have seen you and Melanie and your boys at events , participating and all of you savoring the moment - not just of the car event but of the family connection that will be in your mind decades from now.

I took to a full slap in the head by a decision made by a national club President in 2018 after I was not able to attend board meetings. I was asked to resign from the board because of this. I was not allowed to attend anything due to open heart surgery . I had contributed to the club publications for over 3 decades but I was told that "was a different role".  So to avoid the stress I was told I had to by my surgeon I did resign, and at the same time left the club after being a member for nearly 50 years. My attitude since then is to just walk totally away from things that do not meet the level of people who view themselves as important , and not support what they hold dear . Life is to short.

[MotiveLensPhoto]

Deleting off topic

Edited July 9, 2021 by Golden73
off topic (see edit history)

[60FlatTop]

59 minutes ago, Walt G said:

Life is to short.

 

Life is too important to take seriously. Seriousness breeds expectations. Expectations are rarely let.

[prewar]

1 hour ago, Matt Harwood said:

 

Nevertheless, at the Father's Day show, one of the older members flat out said to me as she was gossiping with three other people who were supposed to be helping to park cars, "You young people need to learn to pull your weight. You don't do enough for the club."

 

 

Holy crap was I angry.

Your post made me laugh. Nothing like being expected to do ALL of the work while they sit back and tell you you're not doing it the way they would.

I was a young, excited member of a specific brand club once a long time ago when several crochety old guys berated me publicly at a meeting because, in a desperate attempt to keep my pride and joy on the road and within my budget, I used some non original type parts. It wasn't like I hot rodded it or anything but I was told I didn't deserve the car and should sell it to someone with the means to take care of it properly. I never went back and it took me years to reluctantly join another club. I still get offended to this day when I hear someone at a show looking at a car and say "they ruined that one".

[1935Packard]

On 7/4/2021 at 8:11 PM, Matt Harwood said:

It's just kids being kids. My 15-year-old son inadvertently sounds like a total jerk every time he opens his mouth. He isn't, but he's got a way of talking that makes him sound unpleasant. I've had a talk with him and I expect he'll outgrow it eventually.

 

"Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants." --  Socrates, 470BC

[60FlatTop]

1 hour ago, prewar said:

once a long time ago when several crochety old guys berated me publicly at a meeting because, in a desperate attempt to keep my pride and joy on the road and within my budget, I used some non original type parts.

They had probably just returned from the dark clouded mountain top, haloed in lightening bolts where they had received the stone tablets of the judging rules. Some get a feeling of empowerment from that.

 

Yes, those same people have called me irreverent. What a word to choose.

[J3Studio]

On 7/9/2021 at 9:18 AM, Matt Harwood said:

At 51 I'm still one of the younger people in the hobby. Melanie and I are very active--she organizes and manages the oldest car show in the country each Father's Day with 450+ cars, I create the magazine, I've been director of the region, we organize tours and host events at our shop, including a cruise-in every Friday and a large show in July.

 

Nevertheless, at the Father's Day show, one of the older members flat out said to me as she was gossiping with three other people who were supposed to be helping to park cars, "You young people need to learn to pull your weight. You don't do enough for the club."

 

At that moment, I almost told her to cram it and quit everything. It was unbelievably insulting. Biatch, where do you think this club would be right now without me and Melanie? You'd still be trying to mail entry forms to people who have been dead for a decade, having half-blind octogenarians look for people's name in a box of envelopes while radiators steamed waiting 45 minutes to get into the show, and publishing a magazine that was mimeographed and stapled together at the corners full of black and white photos scotch taped to the page. Things are so good for them these days that they don't even notice, but they act like it was their work who got them there. Pffft.

 

Matt, my wife and I have been in that situation—people either have no clue, don't care, or believe we are their servants. All because we were born a couple of decades later.

Edited July 11, 2021 by J3Studio (see edit history)

[TAKerry]

2021-07-16_09-37-37 by Kerry Grubb, on Flickr

 

Somewhat related,  I went to a local cruise in last night. I usually take my grandson with me as he likes to ride in my 'hot rod' as he calls it. We were looking at this bucket roadster and the owner came up, had Chayse get inside and started to tell us all about his car. I thought it was pretty decent thing to do. We have had the same experience before, at other shows.

[rocketraider]

The seed has been sown...👍

[chistech]

On 7/9/2021 at 9:18 AM, Matt Harwood said:

At 51 I'm still one of the younger people in the hobby. Melanie and I are very active--she organizes and manages the oldest car show in the country each Father's Day with 450+ cars, I create the magazine, I've been director of the region, we organize tours and host events at our shop, including a cruise-in every Friday and a large show in July.

 

Nevertheless, at the Father's Day show, one of the older members flat out said to me as she was gossiping with three other people who were supposed to be helping to park cars, "You young people need to learn to pull your weight. You don't do enough for the club."

 

 

Holy crap was I angry.

What it comes down to with anything from the workplace to running a club event is the 80-20 rule. 20% of the people do at least 80% of the work. Those that we get to help often feel they’re doing a huge amount of work when in fact they have no idea what the core group of people actually does. I look at those who you can get to help, like those ladies checking people in, as they’re better than those who refuse to help at all. Three out of us four siblings are “doers”. My two sisters are always organizing things from VFW events to parade float building for children’s services in New Bedford. I started and ran RC airplane clubs, was the event coordinator, ran team Pennines, team ropings, and barrel racing events. Finding people to dedicate themselves beyond just showing up is very hard. I actually don’t think it has anything to do with age either. My own daughter who’s a very busy veterinarian runs those same sort of horse events that I listed, carrying on what I started. If you’re a “doer”, it’s in your blood and I think you’re probably born with it! The problem is putting up with those who like to be “do-nothings!”

[JACK M]

1 hour ago, chistech said:

If you’re a “doer”, it’s in your blood and I think you’re probably born with it! The problem is putting up with those who like to be “do-nothings!”

 

I like to think that I am a doer.

Most people I know I refer to as talkers. They are a majority.

[Steve_Mack_CT]

Going OT but what prewar, Matt and Chistech said.  No longer active in a local region as it got too...exhausting.

 

Club elder: "we want your car to be featured in this year's show"

Me "nice."

Random call on a weekday from club elder "I have so and so from the local paper here.  Can you come down for a talk about your car and the show"

Me "uh, sorry George, I am working, I can't just leave."

Angry club elder "what do you mean?  Uh grrr... well ok, I guess we will figure something out" as disgusted voice trails off

 

Not that it was a big deal, just illustrated an attitude.  I will say being nominated to lead (meaning do) everything got old after a couple years.  Last straw was when my wife was helping with the show, mid conversation and a club elder interrupted her to collect trash, asap.  She was done and politely said to me do as you wish with the club but your on your own... 

 

That fall I was asked to be club VP, helping a nice, but do nothing elder as President.  I passed. 🤔😉

 

I am only posting because it is a huge issue I think in a lot of clubs, too bad, I remain friends with most all current members but won't likely revisit that region until I am retired myself.

Edited July 16, 2021 by Steve_Mack_CT (see edit history)

[28 Chrysler]

Snubbed by the old farts.

When I was in my early 20s I was asked to leave a car show when a judge caught me for the second time opening car doors.

They were 2 of the 3 that were mine at the show.  He was a bit embarrassed when I asked for the entry fees back .

[TAKerry]

Steve, I was very active in Kiwanis for a number of years. Pretty much the same thing. 150 paid members, 30 at a meeting 15 doing all the work. I ran our golf tourny which was our big fundraiser. We netted about 15k every year. I was the youngest member there at the time being late 20's early 30s amongst 50 -60 yo's. Also was the youngest president. An old timer(retired/active golfer) stepped up one year and pretty much said he was going to take control of the golf outing. Fine by me, it was a lot of work. He changed things up to his liking, day of the tourny was chaos and I think we made less than 10k that year and it diminished each year afterwards. I had enough by that time and just stepped back and went along for the ride.

[1935Packard]

3 hours ago, 28 Chrysler said:

Snubbed by the old farts.

When I was in my early 20s I was asked to leave a car show when a judge caught me for the second time opening car doors.

They were 2 of the 3 that were mine at the show.  He was a bit embarrassed when I asked for the entry fees back .

 

On the bright side, at least it meant they were looking out for your stuff!   

[Guest]

10 hours ago, TAKerry said:

Steve, I was very active in Kiwanis for a number of years. Pretty much the same thing. 150 paid members, 30 at a meeting 15 doing all the work. I ran our golf tourny which was our big fundraiser. We netted about 15k every year. I was the youngest member there at the time being late 20's early 30s amongst 50 -60 yo's. Also was the youngest president. An old timer(retired/active golfer) stepped up one year and pretty much said he was going to take control of the golf outing. Fine by me, it was a lot of work. He changed things up to his liking, day of the tourny was chaos and I think we made less than 10k that year and it diminished each year afterwards. I had enough by that time and just stepped back and went along for the ride.

 

It was the Elks Lodge for me Kerry, second generation.   Joined as a young man, convinced a friend to come with me.  Became an officer (if not a gentleman) of the club and finally realized, officer or not, we were just a couple of young guys with strong backs doing all the work while the old boys drank themselves into oblivion telling us about the good old days.  The chasm between us was more than the 30 years in age.

Fraternal clubs nation wide lament the loss of lodges and a dying membership but do nothing to attract new younger members.   Our local American Legion is facing the same issues.  But to young servicemen it's the elephant's graveyard.

[Walt G]

7 hours ago, GregLaR said:

 

 

Fraternal clubs nation wide lament the loss of lodges and a dying membership but do nothing to attract new younger members.   

Unfortunately this is also going on in car clubs that have been around for decades/generations. The lofty attitudes of when the clubs were started continue but the club officers and board do not recognize what is currently popular and draws the attention to attract new members ( or retain older ones!) Keeping the traditional guidelines, make(s) accepted and years accepted are fine, but do not look down upon new people who are really interested but do not have the same knowledge and finances that most who belong do. Make events AFFORDABLE, if you have an annual national meet and one evening is a social affair perhaps with a film or guest speaker - Invite the local region of a car club, even if they do not collect what you do! You may generate interest to get them curious as to why and what you focus on, all for the cost of a pile of donuts, and some soft drinks or coffee.  Try to think back that you at one time were in the same place they are now, didn't know squat about what you were looking at or was being discussed.  If there is a tour encourage the younger families to attend, make it a fun day for ALL, without charging $50 per head. Many clubs just don't get it . AACA I feel for the most part does see that the next generation is always going to be there and tries to foster their interest and welcome them into the fold. It is only in the past 3-4 years that I have had the time to see and appreciate that.

WEG

[60FlatTop]

47 minutes ago, Walt G said:

The lofty attitudes of when the clubs were started continue

Those attitudes were probably about cars. I no longer own a collectible Cadillac but I belong to and look forward to functions of the Western New York Chapter of the Cadillac-LaSalle Club. I come home from every meeting or lunch feeling like I have really done a car thing. The member's conversations are car related and the energy is car focused. Even the meeting after the meeting in the parking lot is car stuff.

Sometimes other clubs spread their interest and I have lost interest. A meeting with a stained glass window maker or a display of Civil War era clothing is not the reason I joined a car club, but I have attended, or missed, such meetings.

Makes me think of walking through a car swap meet and seeing someone set up with wares that make you wonder why they were there. It's a car club, remember?

[Walt G]

Bernie, I can agree with you to a great extent about the subject or content that is the topic at a car event or meeting. It needs to be even vaguely close to something to involve cars.

Older cars, not modern cars that can still be serviced at the local dealership and for the most part have to because they need to be connected to a computer to analyze what may or may not be happening. Non car subjects are of interest to me but should be limited so far as the length of time - you need to know how long you can hold the interest of your audience before you see someone start to doze off! 

[SC38dls]

It’s not just young people that have an attitude that is not good for clubs and organizations. I was in my 40’s when I found my 49 Ford F3 pickup and started a frame off rebuilt ( I say rebuilt as I don’t think my skills are good enough to say restoration) and decided to check out the local Ford club that their promotional info said was for older 60’s and older Fords. I went to the meeting asked a few people who I should talk to get info about joining. The first couple of guys had no idea but the third or fourth guy pointed out the membership person. I introduced myself and he said hang on I’m busy right now but I’ll be with you soon. I sat down within 10 feet of this guy as the meeting started. An hour and a half later, a good 20-30 minutes after the meeting the room started to empty out. I sat there and waited, I saw the membership guy look directly at me at least two times before he walked out of the room. Not one person talked to me or introduced themselves to me. I never went back. 
On the other side of the coin I then went to the Ford Truck Enthusiast forum. Many people welcomed me and asked about the project. One, a guy called Doc invited me to his farm for the weekend as he was having a get together for guys with late 49’s Ford trucks he had known on the forum but had never met. It drew guys from NM, FL, WI, IL,  VA and KY. We still have a core group of 8 of those guys that try to get together once a year. 
I guess I’m saying clubs can go either way. It’s just finding the right one make take a few tries. Because one isn’t your cup of tea doesn’t mean all are that way. Ignore the turkeys and keep trying to find the decent people, they are out there. 
Have fun

dave s 

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by SC38DLS (see edit history)

[60FlatTop]

Before I wrap up my computer for the day and head out to the garage (it's raining) I think I will leave one more perception of the hobby.