I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

[George Cole]

December 8 - 6:00 PM

It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.

I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.

What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.

What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again: I don’t think that’s possible.

Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
See
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her.
God I hate it when she’s right.
I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity’s back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.

More shoveling! Took all day.

The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.

I think they’re lying.

Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out.
Might have another shipment in March.

I think they’re lying.

Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.

I think he’s lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sheat fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August.

Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to peee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.

Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the #%*&@ is lying.

December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago?

She says she did but I think she’s lying.

December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.

I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25

Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!

Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.

The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot.
If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26

Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She’s really getting on my nerves.

December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
That witch is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30

Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.

The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.

December 31

I set fire to what’s left of the house.
No more shoveling.

January 8

Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?

[edinmass]

 

This is a White Christmas in Southern Florida.........😎

[SC38dls]

That’s a Great White in southern Florida!  Get it right damn it

dave s 

[rocketraider]

I thought those mostly hung around Oz, which has no snow as it's currently summer there.

 

George, you don't by chance live in Western New York, do you?😄

 

That's not a laughing matter though. Gotta feel for everyone going through the aftermath of this storm.

[George Cole]

When I first heard the story I thought it said 'White Mistress."

[auburnseeker]

We got lucky and didn't get Buffalo's mess,  but then again it's nothing new there,  has been happening for centuries.  Remember when we all had bad snow storms,  now they are bomb cyclones.  No that's just weather like it's been forever,  they just came up with a fancy name to scare you and make you think the world is ending.  Look back at Historic Snow storms.  Look at those old photos we like with cars in the teens-40's.  Here is one from my hometown in the 1930's.  

 

Difference is now we have much better equipment to handle it and better technology to drive in it. 

 

The biggest trick with the mess we just got,  was deciding when and if to remove it during the transition from snow to rain,  then the rapid freeze up.  Too early and you get freezing rain on all the bare surfaces,  too late and the snow pack and ice doesn't melt enough.  I got lucky and hit ours just right.  

 

The most bare surfaces I could hope for in light of the conditions.  Also built the kids sledding trail and smoothed out the worse of the damage to the skating rink on the new pond before it froze.   Skating is pretty fair as the transition from rain to snow only left us with a dusting of fresh snow,  but well over a foot of the old snow still on the ground after being rained on for a day. 

 

 

[rocketraider]

21 minutes ago, auburnseeker said:

We got lucky and didn't get Buffalo's mess,  but then again it's nothing new there,  has been happening for centuries.

In the 1920s, Buffalo's Betsy Schoellkopf (Niagara Power Company heiress) married Jeff Penn of NC's American Tobacco Company.

 

Miss Betsy moved to Reidsville NC and often said she never regretted leaving Buffalo winters behind.

 

After her death, the Chinqua-Penn house and grounds were opened to the public and the Foundation was able to acquire her last car, a 1960 Cadillac Fleetwood Seventy-Five limousine. It had been used by a painting contractor to haul his crew.

 

Around 1995 I started volunteering at the house and gave the Cadillac its first bath in decades. Later, the General Greene Chapter undertook a minor restoration on the car. 

 

Often wonder how many trips that Seventy-Five made from Reidsville to Buffalo with Miss Betsy and her jewelry box in back- in summer of course!

[Leif in Calif]

I used to live near Donner Summit in the Sierras. I owned the only glass shop in town. If there was a light winter followed by a heavy one, the people operating the county snow removal equipment would be inexperienced. One year they blew out almost every front window on one street near Donner Lake. Some people where asleep when they were suddenly covered with snow and broken glass! 

[rocketraider]

😳😬

 

I wouldn't live anywhere gets snow like that! 

[Jim Bollman]

We moved from Western NY 8 Winters ago and haven't missed the snow a bit. This is the first white Christmas since we moved, I think we had a little less than an inch and it is all gone already.

[28 Chrysler]

Out walking the dog here in southern Nevada.  We have several feet of hard  packed sand for now, maybe  1/4" of fain this week.

[wayne sheldon]

When my wife declared that she wanted to move into the Sierra foothills, I said that I "wanted to live where it snowed enough to love it! But not snow enough to hate it!" Grass valley has fit that just fine.

Frankly, there isn't much around here that I really like. Seventeen years, but I still love the snow. Even after last year's heaviest single day snowfall in over fifty years! We had no power for over two weeks, but my old generator almost survived. Even cell phones were out for a couple days. The landline was out for a month. Barely jury-rigged internet for a month. We had water, and propane. And I haven't had any real trouble driving in the stuff yet.

Here, even locals born here freak out over two inches of snow! I just don't get it? What is the big deal over less than a foot of the white stuff? You would think these silly people were in Buffalo NY the way they carry on about the inconvenience of a few inches!

Edited December 29, 2022 by wayne sheldon
I hate leaving typos! (see edit history)