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Buick Funnies


Guest BigDogDaddy

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Guest BigDogDaddy

I am starting this thread for all members to share jokes or funny stories. They don't have to Buick related, but preferably car related. Please share funny experiences you or others have had also.

For instance, a true story: My wife and I were having dinner with my parents the other night and my wife asked my mother about the vegetables that came with her meal. Mom said they are called riviera beans. My wife asked " what are riviera beans ? " My father said, " they found them in the trunk of a Buick ! "

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Great idea for a thread Phil. Can't think of any funnies right now.....but I always wondered where did the phrase "The Buick is not all the way in the garage" come from.... I mean why not Ford or Chevy or ........ohhhhh, I just figured it out.

Wonder what this honey knows about it

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Eo6xlhKIqK4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Edited by MrEarl (see edit history)
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I just remembered one I haven't thought about in awhile. I am told that when I was about 2 years old and riding in the back seat of our 48 Buick, we went over some railroad tracks. It was told that I said " Bump titty bump" and my mom looked at my dad and said "I guess I know where he learned that"

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Two that come to mind that I use frequently...

If you see something of an unusual size, you say loudly, "Wow, look at that. It's big as a Buick!"

Of in response to something bright and new, "Wow, it shines like a '58 Buick!"

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I'd like to share my big long Buick with the dynaflow drive with her Mr. Earl.

Other than that my good friend Granny's 70 Skylark, who has not been here in a while, always used to tell me when we worked together, that he was not old enough to own a Buick, even though he is older than I. Now I can proudly say I'm not old enough to have an Acura like him!

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Guest Texas Old Car Guy

I came across this LP record album with the original dust cover/jacket when browsing through an Atlanta, Georgia antique shop - had to have it to put on the wall of my "Mancave" since I'm restoring a 1922 Buick Roadster. Can't tell you what the music sounds like since I no longer have a record player - just liked the cover. :cool:

post-66120-143139325129_thumb.jpg

Fred

Edited by Texas Old Car Guy (see edit history)
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A lady walks into a Buick dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line model and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to crap your panties when I tell you the price."

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Two Aggies buy a 1951 Buick woody and take it back to their shop and get to work on it. After working on it all day and night they take a step back and get a good look at what they have.

Then the first aggie says to the second, " you know, I think it looked better before we took it out of the crate"

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Here's one I posted on the trip to Danvers that I had a few of you believing:

All went well until we were returning from dinner when in the hotel parking lot this little smart car (dumb car?) shot out and CRASH! T-boned that sucker. Right away this very small man jumped out and shouted "I am not Happy!" I looked at him and said "Then which one are you: Dopey or Grumpy?"

(they just get worse...Lamar are you ready to close the thread?)

Willie

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A pro golfer on his way to a tournament in his new 59 Buick stops for gas in a hillbilly town. The gas jockey was really impressed with the car. As he was paying up he reached for change and had a couple of golf tees in his hand with the coins. Gas guy asks "What are those?" "Tees", he replies. "What do you do with them" asks the gas guy. Pro replies "you rest your balls on them when your driving." Gas guy exclaims " WOW these new Buicks got everything."

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From a 4 year old post I made ...

"The devil made me do it"

While at the recent 'Buicks and Blue Bonnets' meet I was leaving a restaurant at dusk when a nice young man came up to my 55. He complimented the car and mentioned his concern over the fact that only one of my backup lights was working. I told him the other one only works when it is real dark. He then stuck his finger in a porthole and asked what they were for. I told him exhaust comes out when activated and told him to stand back while demonstrated. He nearly stumbled and fell when I revved the engine.

While traveling in Pennsylvania about 14 years ago on the way to a BCA meet, I pulled into a gas station with my 55.

While fueling a very unpleasant lady(?) came up and asked what kind of gas mileage the car got. After telling her about 15 mpg she proceeded to lecture me about wasting energy in that gas guzzler. I told her I was from Texas and in addition to a 10000 acre ranch I had about 50 oil wells and thanked her for using my product (none is true). She got into her Geo Metro and left in a huff.

Recently near home again I was refueling the 55 when a young man pulled in with his low rider (63 Impala) and asked me what I did to that Chebby. I went through a long list of customization techniques and said that if did any more it might be a Buick...don't think he ever understood and is still telling his buddies about that customized 55 Chebby.

And of course there is the old 'hands free starting'

Willie

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A lady walks into a Buick dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line model and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to crap your panties when I tell you the price."

That's funny crap right there! I don't care who you are.....

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Guest BigDogDaddy

Those were great bleach. I think we have all done the hands free starting trick. If there are young kids checking out the car, I tell them that the car will start by itself if they ask it nicely. I tell them to say " Buick...please start ". I keep my hands where they can see them, and as soon as they say it, the car starts and they are amazed. :)

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