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Diary of a demented MN snow shovleler

Guest sintid58

By Guest sintid58
in Buick - General

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Guest sintid58

Guest sintid58

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Diary of a Demented Minnesota Snow Shoveler

December 8 6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 Woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, pee'd and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the a***ole is lying.

December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a gun who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his b**ls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the @#$@ snowplow.

December 25 Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 twenty more inches of the slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Merry Christmas to all.

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Guest buickapollo455

Guest buickapollo455

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well another 5 inch hit today, 24th , christmas eve morning shovel again, although I will take this over California mud slide. 43 inch in Mpls so far, this year.

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Guest Dans 77 Limited

Guest Dans 77 Limited

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When you are the snowplow driver (which I was for 17 years) , its always the same old story.

Monday- youre the hero that opened the street up so we can get out . Can I get you a sandwich or a cup of coffee ?

Tuesday- Youre the ******* that plowed my driveway in. Just because its nothing more than a huge piece of metal that uses brute force to get the snow off of the street, cant you make that snow go somewhere else?:confused::rolleyes:. Why have you got to plow my driveway in. Why dont you get a real job?

#1 Reason why I am the FORMER plow driver. One more winter of that and some loudmouth would have been stuck to that precision instrument, that everybody except the people who have to use them, think the snowplow is.

Dan

Edited by Dans 77 Limited (see edit history)
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BRB62 500+ Points

BRB62

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Snow? Here in Perth, Western Australia temps have been around the 38C (100F) all week. Overnight lows 20C (70F). Hot!! Sitting under the air-con all morning, a swim in the pool in the afternoon, beer and cocktails in the evening after a barbeque. Enjoy your white christmas and new year on the other side of the world. All the best, Rick

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MrEarl 25,000+ Points

MrEarl

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Somebody needs to learn how to close the door up there, apparently it's been left wide a** open for the last 2 months. But we had a white Christmas due to it so I guess it's not too bad. Problem is, it's still hangin around as seen in the patio picture. So if you'd please shet the door so it will melt, we'd appreciate it. :)

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buick840 2,500+ Points

buick840

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Somebody needs to learn how to close the door up there, apparently it's been left wide a** open for the last 2 months. But we had a white Christmas due to it so I guess it's not too bad. Problem is, it's still hangin around as seen in the patio picture. So if you'd please shet the door so it will melt, we'd appreciate it. :)

That's one SCARY SNOWMAN you got there Lamar :eek:

Must have taken you all day to make that one:D:D

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Thriller 10,000+ Points

Thriller

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Minneapolis has broken the all-time snowfall record for December with 33.4 inches so far this month. There is a prediction of a near blizzard on the 30th or 31st. I'll probably not see my Buicks before the 4th of July at this rate:(

That'll make the Spring Extravaganza tough to get to, won't it? :rolleyes:

We've got temps near freezing today. I made a quick run out to get the poodles...the highway wasn't bad, but in town things are pretty sloppy. In the country, there is water running that should be long frozen - that is due to the wet weather we've had through the year. Happily, we haven't had all the weather that has been experience farther south, but I wouldn't be upset about lower than average snowfall amounts for the rest of the winter.

So, I'm guessing there has been a run on snow shovels in Athens...or do they just wait for it to melt, polishing the roads to ice in the meantime?

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