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My Dad told me a story to warm me about being a germaphobe: There was once was a man who had a donkey named Fred. Fred was cross-eyed. So the man went to his friend named Bob. He asked for help. Bob said to get a 6ft hose. So the man did as Bob commanded. Bob stuck the hose up the donkey's butt. He told the man to blow into the hose. So the man did it. After a few hours of blowing he was getting tired, so he asked Bob to take over. Bob walked over and pulled the hose out and turned it around. Then put his mouth on it and started to blow. The man asked Bob why he did this. Bob said it was because he did not want to put his mouth were the other guy's mouth had been. And my Mom loved watching the Green acres TV shop because Mr. Haney, Pat Buttram reminded her so much of her Dad. (No pun intended) I never had a chance. Bernie

The Col. takes a back seat the the true guvermint supplies. In the Navy we used to clean the firesides of our bunker C fired boilers with scrapers and wire brushes. I have a picture of me standing in a firebox and the only parts that are white are my eyes and fingernails. (the stuff didn't stick to nails.) At the end of our 12 hour shifts we would head for the coffee mess between the superheater section and the reciprocating feed pump and mix up some sugar and light machine oil for hand cleaner. That really did a job. Try it when you have to clean up after a crusty job. The sugar and oil has a second benefit that appeals to some people, like my wife. It separates the tasks of hand cleaning and eating, which I don't deny is a good thing. Maybe it needs to be a learned response in some. I remember eating some cold cut sandwiches with black fingerprints all over the white bread and they were pretty tasty at the time. If you are really greasy, you can hold one corner and let the sandwich resr against the back of you hand or forearm where it is not so dirty; then throw the corner away. For starting out as a April Fools joke, this topic is still going on the 6th. That ain't bad. Didn't someone say "I will honor April Fool's Day in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." Beats the dickens out of me where I remember that from. Bernie

You know how hub caps get grease in the center from guys putting the wheel bearing nut and cotter pin there? If you serve fried chicken in them it cleans that grease right up. And Col. Sanders got my hands clean at the junkyard quite a few times. BERNIE

I don't like stretching way back there to set old style points; easier on the bench. Bernie

And then....... Bernie

I knew it had been repeated. I changed it a little to update it from Socrates teasing Plato. Bernie

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I won't put the link here because of the adult material in the movie. "Suckers" is on Youtube full length. It is one of my favorites. We never made the $1,000's but we played the game and I cry laughing at the movie every time. I especially like the guy who won't go inside to make the deal. I have two friends that think the sales manager reminds them a lot of me. Buying an old car is a completely discretionary purchase. In an earlier post I mentioned sports cars don't always come with little raspy engines. A discretionary purchase can be sport for both the seller and the buyer. Once it is established that seller has a business for buyers whom buy things they don't need, there is no better definition of sport. (I don't play pool in bars anymore). I have given away a dozen good cars. And I have pulled the pants off some really dominating hagglers. Over the years I have noticed that in many instances the reduction in price has nothing to do with market value. There are just some people with a need to devalue anything a person has for sale. If they paid your asking price you would be at an equal level; and they just can't have that. They are easy to spot and fun to play with if you happen to be in good humor that day. I know the value of what I want. If the price is fair I just pay. If I don't have enough I offer all I have. If that works, OK. I try to be a fair buyer and a sporting seller. A few years ago I was looking at a Jaguar V12 just to the right of being collectible, still in the driver market. I made a honest reasonable offer to the salesman. He came back and said the company had more in the car than I offered. Academy Award time! "Your company has a buyer who paid more than I just offered for a 12 cylinder Jaguar. Does he still work her? Is the job open? They really paid more than I offered? Do you know how lucky you are that a legitimate buyer is actually looking at it?" With the most sincere and consoling look I told the salesman " You know this car is going to rot on this lot unless you wholesale it. And I sure wouldn't want to be the one coming back from the auction to tell the boss what it sold for." I did buy one. Theirs decorated the lot for a while and the last time I saw it the hood wasn't closed right. When I tired of the one I did buy I advertised it and a buyer from the other side of the city called around 1PM. He asked if he could look at it. I told him it was a long drive and asked if he was bringing money to buy it. He showed up panting and said he just made it to the bank in time. I was so happy for him. He paid that night. Cheer up, life is short. Gee, I just remembered a guy who bought a car from me and I thought I might have to avoid him the rest of my life. Until he bought the second one. Bernie

I have seen some period write up on a couple of Darrin Cords. It is logical that he would have done a few at the time. The Stork hood ornament makes me think it is an earlier job. That Cord was rescued and was at the Syracuse Nationals in recent years. J. P. at Victory Cars and I have shared those 2005 pictures. He seems like a pretty decent person. I'd buy a car from him. Back to the Duesenburgs, I have some pictures of a 1932 Hudson Greater Eight that I need to scan. That grille shell is almost a dead knock off. I could easily be mistaken when peeking into a dark barn. On the old collection, a friend of mine told me about flying a small private plane there to look at a rare Cadillac. He said they had to land on the two lane highway. Neat stuff. Bernie

I just got reminded; my son is 32 years old. When he was 9 I took him the Hershey with me. He came home and he said "Gee, Mom, Dad talks to everybody! He even gets weather reports from the man who cleans the bathroom at the rest stop." I've always been the big showman, myself. Some shorten Big Showmanship to just plain BS. Seems to work. Bernie

There is a small town used car lot near me. The main salesman likes cars a lot and I bought my wife's Infinity from him. I'll stop in if I see something special and say "Gee, I noticed some rust building up in the rotors of the XLR. Would you like me to clean them up?" It got me into the XLR, an A8, a couple of BMW's, even a Crown Vic P71. He knows he'll get another bag of groceries out of me; probably when the clean Lincoln MKS comes in. You gotta look like a customer.This guy doesn't get offered a test drive. Well, maybe a test drive reality show. Bernie

The TV guy with the funny looking mustache walked past my car at a show. I said Hi. He just kept walking. Oh well. B

I'm not sure. I think I was trying to be too cagey. It was on a '70's Galaxie or LTD chassis with a 400. I figured $10,000 might take it. The number is stuck in my head from the old Elite Auburn kit at $9,995 out of Indianapolis. The cars have been dispersed recently, but here is how the place looked back in "05. http://brockportinternational.com/xjs/Dir5/Mace%20Motors%205-05/ Bernie

The picture I posted was out of context with the experience. My wife and I had just walked through this dealership showroom. There was a framed $10 on the wall with a written bet from the 1930's that the winner would be the one to see the next century. I visited a few times while my daughter was in college and each time was an episode of The Twilight Zone. The feel of being there was a whole lot different than the pictures. I had images of this one coming home with me, but during the four years, negotiations never started. It was a place where one leaves reality and objectivity at the door. And it feels good to be naive every once in a while. Bernie

The picture I posted was out of context with the experience. My wife and I had just walked through this dealership showroom. There was a framed $10 on the wall with a written bet from the 1930's that the winner would be the one to see the next century. I visited a few times while my daughter was in college and each time was an episode of The Twilight Zone. The feel of being there was a whole lot different than the pictures. Bernie

I asked the owner of this one if I could sit in it. It took my breath away to look down and see a Mustang shifter at the edge of the seat! Bernie

Bernie

The compression shows the left bank about 15 PSI higher than the right on all cylinders. The first step of a tune up is the compression check. If the cylinders are not all within 10% the chances of it running smooth are low. All the low ones on one bank raises a red flag. Was the carb propped over for the test? Did you use a screw in compression tester or a rubber plug type? Was that test wet or dry? If it was dry what did the wet test show? A leak down test is in order at a minimum. Post #104, Bernie

I'm sure glad those dinosaurs didn't get together and fight climate change back in their day. We wouldn't have any old cars would we. B

Bill, I'm getting flashbacks to changing the roof on the old electric arc furnace between pours about 45 years ago. I had to keep shifting from one foot to another like those desert lizards. I remember the night they dropped 3,000 pounds of molten steel, too. I wouldn't mind doing a start up on a batch of scrap blocks one more time. Bernie

A good plan is to identify all the engine and directly related parts as "Engine Swamp" not swap. Focus on them. Consider everything else as alligators. Don't poke, probe, or touch them, even if they look dead. In a week the car can be stripped down to the bare frame at no cost. It can bite you. Bernie

A man sold everything and, gave up his home, and lost his wife to own a Dusenberg. It was rumored he died alone and homeless. Still after losing all he requested to be buried in the car. A charitable piper recalls the story: As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.” Bernie

An oil change is pretty routine, but you might have your hands full if you monkey around with these Wildcats in those other places. http://www.sounddogs.com/sound-effects/2185/mp3/101164_SOUNDDOGS__an.mp3 Bernie

What were the compression readings? Bernie

There is something about an oil change that is a little like foreplay. You get a chance to be intimate with areas of your car you don't normally visit and really get to know and appreciate it. When you take it to a shop they seem to skip that and just bludgeon right in there, don't they. And we all know how to reword that, I'm sure. Bernie