Windoze

[Twitch]

Microsoft Corporation

One Microsoft Way

Redmond, WA 98052-6399 Tel 425 882 8080

Fax 425 936 7329

http://www.microsoft.com

For Immediate Release

Dear Microsoft Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS XP TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas.

If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the Alamo.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"

Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:

Cancel - stopdat

Reset - try'er agin

Yes - yep

No - nope

Find - hunt fer it

Go to - over yonder

Back - back yonder Help - hep me out here

Stop - kwitit

Start - crank'er up

Settings - settins

Programs - stuff at duz stuff

Documents - stuff ah done did

Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS XP:

Tiperiter - word processing program

Colerin' Book - graphics program

Cyferin' mersheen - calculator

Outhouse paper - notepad

Inner-net - MS Internet Explorer

Pitchers - graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all ya'll!

Billy Bob Gates

[Guest imported_Speedster]

Yep, we Texans have a Fun Language. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No waisted Spit Here. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[WCraigH]

Microsoft announces official name of its next-generation Windows client operating system:

VISTA

Acronym for:

Viruses

Infections

Spyware

Trojans

Adware

<img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

[55PackardGuy]

'At's purdy funny. Don't Mess Wit Texas Winders.

[Guest imported_Speedster]

But the thing is, Very few Texans really talk that way. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Now, In Oklahoma, That's a different Story. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LOL