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OFF TOPIC BUT TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE


Gene Brink
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Just could not resist sharing this

<span style="font-weight: bold">Dog Diary vs Cat Diary</span>

Dog's Diary entries....

8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little

dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates

are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for

the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to

keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of

escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I

had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending

comments about what a "good little hunter" I am . The audacity! There was

some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary

confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises

and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of

"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my

advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the

other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special

privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to

return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I

observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he

reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him

in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

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