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We see 'em evey day, in all media, these confusingly comical <span style="font-style: italic">Pariahs of Print</span>. Where's does one <span style="font-style: italic">place</span> such a rare, one-off ownership opportunity: <span style="font-weight: bold">BCA Prewar</span>; <span style="font-weight: bold">WPC</span>; the <span style="font-style: italic">circular</span> file? The seller would like to see it go straight to the <span style="font-weight: bold">CCCA</span> Forum. Know why? "'Cause...it's a <span style="font-style: italic">Classic</span>!" (And if we had a nickel for every time we'd heard <span style="font-style: italic">that</span> much-maligned moniker, we could <span style="font-weight: bold">buy</span> this baby and build a <span style="font-weight: bold">Garage Mahal</span> around it.)

None of my references list this unique Buick, and even the Dynamic Duo of <span style="font-style: italic">Dunham & Gustin</span> would likely be stumped. Perhaps it's a <span style="font-weight: bold">Roadmaster</span> <span style="font-style: italic">New Yorker</span> 'cause it was poichased in Poughkeepsie?

Confounded in Carolina,

TG

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The only people who care about the use of the adjective "classic" are the members of the CCCA. To the print and broadcast media, and the man on the street every car just beyond the median age of the used cars on today's lots are "classics". '65 Mustangs are "classics" to most people, as are Chebbies, Dodges and lots of other non-blueblood, pratical cars that do not have burled walnut instrument panels made from trees forested from his majesty's estate.

I don't personally use the term, but the whole world does. The CCCA even had to manufacture their "full classic" claptrap to counter this.

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Speaking of ads that make you wonder what they were thinking...

Does anybody remember Franklin's advertising campaign of the 20's that featured a Western theme? One ad showed a grizzled prospector panning gold with the headline "Opening a New Vein of Public Favor".

I doubt any car company would speak of opening veins in these safety conscious days.

How about a "Blowout Sale" on tires?

Or a "Blockbuster Sale" of antifreeze? They must be watering it down.

All 3 of these were actual ads. I'm sorry now I didn't clip them and save them for a laugh.

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"Blowout Tire" and "Blockbuster Anti-Freeze Sales" are more of what I'd call "Ironic" (and great, to boot!). Along that line (and I don't want to stray from the oxy<span style="font-weight: bold">moron</span>ic theme here), this this <span style="font-style: italic">has</span> to be one of creepiest. From "Holiday" magazine, 1948.

What was this company's slogan, "Buy our luggage, <span style="font-style: italic">then</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">Get Lost</span>"?

TG

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"Honey, can't we take the <span style="font-style: italic">Super Chief</span>?"

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Bhigdog,

I'm sure this pre-<span style="font-style: italic">Swimsuit Issue</span>-era spokeswoman would agree, though they say

these days she's somewhat of a <span style="font-style: italic">cold fish</span>. You're not a <span style="font-style: italic">cop</span>, are you?

TG

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53Nailhead,

Don't know the cost of that feature; have to double-check my order sheet for the right box.

I'd say it's worth <span style="font-style: italic">way</span> more than $4995! (As long as it's "<span style="font-style: italic">extra clean</span>".)

TG

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I'll get my girl right on that option-price query...I've been so swamped that I had to take on an

extra staffer; her name's <span style="font-weight: bold">Burlene</span> <span style="font-style: italic">"Dee"</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">Voyage</span> and her equipment's <span style="font-style: italic">much</span> faster than mine.

Granted, she's not much of a looker, but she's <span style="font-weight: bold">fluent</span> in french, knows a <span style="font-style: italic">little</span> greek,

with hand's that can tickle a keyboard like <span style="font-style: italic">nobody's</span> business. And can <span style="font-style: italic">she</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">cook</span>!

But, your request will have to wait till she's done with her <span style="font-style: italic">Cadillac piece</span>...

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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sounds a lot better than "Gender Challenged Amphibian".....Bob </div></div>

Bob, the last time I checked a duck was a bird, not an amphibian! <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

BTW, on the subject of politically incorrect marketing nobody could beat Jaguar. I have a book with a picture of their display for the 1973 New York Auto Show. The models are topless. icon75.gif <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

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One's assumtption is that this sort of stuff doesn't find itself into the public eye and ear anymoe, but I beg to differ.

Just recently a radio station in Charlotte aired an advertisement for a Cadillac SUV which featured the theme "Breakaway with Cadillac" and referred to the vehicle as "the most popular crossover SUV". "Breakaway" -- from thne driver's control? And "crossover" -- the median and crash into oncoming traffic?

I can't imagine an ad copy reader putting his stamp of approval on this -- any more than I can imagine "opening up a new vein" or "blowout tire sales" getting by the board, but there it is.

Jeff

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On the subject of Cadillac,

Few ads are more desirable and collectible than the famous "Jeweled Cadillac" ads,

that ran from @ 1947 thru the early '60's. They don't get any better than this,

but I can't show it to you in its entirety; my equipment is dated,

and I've just <span style="font-style: italic">got</span> to get a bigger...<span style="font-style: italic">scanner</span>.

TG

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Jewels by Van Cleef and Arpels

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Technology Triumphs!

I can't speak for MG, but Pontiac was certainly up to the <span style="font-style: italic">task at hand</span>.

In some of the most <span style="font-style: italic">bizarre</span> ads ever created, Fisher Body let loose

with these <span style="font-style: italic">chestnuts</span> that ran in '58 & '59. Their <span style="font-weight: bold">Dali-esque</span> influence

speaks volumes; Elvis was in the Army, the Army was "experimenting" with

mind-bending hallucinogens, and some of it <span style="font-style: italic">must</span> have worn off on the ad agency

<span style="font-style: italic">Boys from Detroit</span>.

On a personal note, I discovered that my parameters have <span style="font-style: italic">expanded</span>, by shucking the scanner

and using a little <span style="font-style: italic">digital manipulation</span> to get <span style="font-weight: bold">Kodak Moment</span> images of large-format magazine ads...

TG

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Rinse It, Wipe It, <span style="text-decoration: underline">And</span> <span style="text-decoration: underline">It's</span> "<span style="text-decoration: underline">Polished</span>"!

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Yeah. I knew I was taking some literary license there. When I was in the navy we had 2 1/2 ton trucks that were classified as "amphibious". The official nomenclature was "DUKW" but everyone just called them "Ducks"......Bob

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<span style="font-style: italic">Navy</span>? Did somebody say <span style="font-weight: bold">Navy</span>?

Why is it whenever I hear that word, I'm immediately reminded of the spectacle of a bunch of <span style="font-style: italic">kinneygartners</span> cavorting about the stage, gesticulating wildly to the <span style="font-weight: bold">classic</span> Village People anthem "<span style="font-weight: bold">Y.M.C.A</span>"? It's twue, <span style="font-style: italic">'cause I saw it on</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">TV</span>...(well, the local-access station, but still.)

It was Graduation Day, and <span style="font-weight: bold">that</span> <span style="font-style: italic">li'l number</span> was the <span style="font-weight: bold">talent</span> segment of their Commencement Program. And there, sitting in the audience <span style="font-style: italic">beaming</span> with pride, was mommer'n'daddy'an'em, their <span style="font-style: italic">preacher</span>, ALL the teachers <span style="font-style: italic">and</span> the <span style="font-weight: bold">Principle</span>. "Isn't that <span style="font-style: italic">precious</span>, Ain't they <span style="font-weight: bold">kewt</span>?"

"Excuse me, <span style="font-style: italic">Mr. Hall Monitor</span>...which way to the <span style="font-weight: bold">Vomitorium</span>?"

Something tells me that <span style="font-style: italic">today</span>, this ad, of a '58 Fireflite loaded with seamen, just <span style="font-style: italic">wouldn't</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">fly</span>.

TG

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Heck, "YMCA" wasn't even their best work!

Proud Veteran of the post-Vietnam-era USN

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Word of caution here,

Before you let those <span style="font-style: italic">Nine Smart Sailors</span> take a joyride in your <span style="font-weight: bold">Smart New DeSoto</span>,

I suggest you get yourself some <span style="font-style: italic">protection</span>.

TG

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Working With You For America

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Back in 1927 when several manufacturers first put roll-up windows in their "roadsters", the industry knew they needed a new term. Before settling on "convertable" Marmon called their version a "collapsible coupe" - don't you know that made the sales staff happy!

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The Brits have a lot of unusual features on their cars. The 1931 Invicta advertised that their radiator was "mounted on rubber dog balls". The Lotus came with a Coventry Climax engine and the 1976 Lagonda sedan came with a "computer cum monitor". Not sure if that is the same as the "Climax Control"

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Yes sir,

You are correct! Why ruin your plush Leather Upholstery in your new Cadillac,

when you can have <span style="font-weight: bold">Lustrous Plastic</span> to protect you from the elements!

That, and the <span style="font-style: italic">Nine Smart Sailors</span> who just got Leave after 10 months at sea.

The one you should have asked is Ron Barnett, shown here in his '41 Caddy Cvt. Sdn. on the 1990 Founders Tour in Spencer, NC. Formerly the repair facility of the Southern Railway, the Spencer Shops are now the home of the NC Transportation Museum, well worth a visit when you're in the Charlotte area.

The AACA Hornets Nest Region commissioned me to do the hand-drawn logo for the '90 Founders Tour, and I've often wondered if it influenced the AACA Museum's logo that appeared a little later, or was merely a coincidence. Two great (?) minds thinking alike?

TG

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Hmmm, drinking, driving, <span style="font-style: italic">and</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">boating</span>. Throw your portable Crystal Meth Lab in the

(diminutive) trunk and it's sure-fire recipe for a <span style="font-style: italic">High Time</span> on the <span style="font-weight: bold">High Seas</span>!

Got room for one more <span style="font-style: italic">stowaway</span>? You could tow me in my <span style="font-style: italic">rubber raft</span>.

TG

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"I'll supply the Swizzle Sticks!"

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These little nuggets are prime examples of:

<span style="font-weight: bold">Why Cousins Shouldn't Marry</span>!

"We love this car that Buick forgot to build*, the one with the metal engine, washboard paint,

and recently new water pump; an original old car, found in an old barn, honest!"

Well, if it means so much to ya', why the Heck is it For Sale?!

TG

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* Except in Australia: see; "<span style="font-weight: bold">1934 Buick Model 34 Roadster</span>" Thread, over in the <span style="font-weight: bold">BCA Pre-war</span> Forum.

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It's funny how what we used to think of as "junk" has now become "desirable" ("...perfect for rat rod..."--we see that so often now in the old VW hobby).

Anyway, please excuse me now as I must now head to the garage to work on my car's "virgin metal" with a large mug of whiskey for refreshment.

Happy Saturday!

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"Make mine a Martini, <span style="font-style: italic">Daaahling</span>, den I vont to hear all about your <span style="font-weight: bold">clazzic</span> <span style="font-style: italic">Muzstang!</span>"

That's right folks, here she is again, shilling for stainless steel hubcaps, America's most famous "Copper Whopper"...Zsa Zsa Gabor, with parade-boot poodle in tow. The star of such memorable films as, "Queen of Outer Space" (1958), "Boys Night Out" (1960), and her last flic, 1978's, "Every Girl Should Have One."

Born in Budapest circa 1920, she's about <span style="font-style: italic">45</span>-<span style="font-weight: bold">ish</span> in these U.S. Steel ads from 1965, and yes, of course she was the "Queen," but I can't figure out exactly what she "Should Have." Maybe a Manhattan?

<span style="font-weight: bold">Gag Me!</span>

Ta-Ta For Now,

TG

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(That's TTFN; "Queen-speak" for all you Earthlings.)

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I thought this thread would lampoon the admittedly easy target of silly, irritating car commercials that run incessantly. I was forced to get by with nothing more than network/local affiliate TV for a few years, and there's no question that truck ads (and their infuriating jingles) are the most insipid, grating TV commercials of any kind.

Let's rehash some of the most recent offerings:

"I Want to Drive a Truck,"

"Ford is the Best in Texas,"

"Better in Texas, Better in a Dodge,"

whatever that monkey Toby Keith sang about,

"Like a Rock"

and now, a perversion of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" that runs INCESSANTLY!!!!

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Sled,

Make it whatever you wish...just remember to enjoy taboos

wherever & whenever they appear...

(I wonder if Senator Joe Biden is a Cadillac Man?)

TG

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We lived in Durand (note depot name), right across the road from the <span style="font-style: italic">legendary</span> "<span style="font-weight: bold">Durand Dirties</span>",

a notorious XXX-rated Drive-In Movie Theater...didn't even notice it till this post!

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Do they still have those stupid Mazda ads with the "zoom zoom" kid? That is the most irritating ad campaign of all time.

The stupidest ad campaign of all time was those "Joe Isuzu" ads. Go buy a car whose spokesman is a pathological liar and proud of it. Ya right. I guess it was enough to sink the company, I haven't seen an Isuzu in years?

2 makes of car I will never buy.

Another place I will never shop is The Brick Warehouse. They had this announcer with the most horribly inbred Southern rube accent. "Thuh Breeyuk Wayer Hayouse". What the heck, maybe they were going for the moron trade. Don't know if they ever sold anything, I haven't heard their ads for years, they probably went broke too.

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Yeah, those were annoying ads...They still use the "Zoom-Zoom" kid,

only just in voice-overs. Like Harry Potter, you can't stop 'em from

growing up.

Word on the "skreet" is that the Z-Z Boy will have a cameo in

Paris Hilton's next Home Movie...a "walk-in" role.

I think I found some hubcaps from that annoying place somewhere in the Southland.

Did a double-take when I laid eyes on these ersatz caps. They must have been sold

thru Warshawsky's or other parts wayerhayouses. You just don't understand South-Speak;

the laying-on of extra, useless syllables is the highest form of "Gentility!"

TG

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