Stupid Auto Ads

TG57Roadmaster · January 17, 2007

We see 'em evey day, in all media, these confusingly comical Pariahs of Print. Where's does one place such a rare, one-off ownership opportunity: BCA Prewar; WPC; the circular file? The seller would like to see it go straight to the CCCA Forum. Know why? "'Cause...it's a Classic!" (And if we had a nickel for every time we'd heard that much-maligned moniker, we could buy this baby and build a Garage Mahal around it.)

None of my references list this unique Buick, and even the Dynamic Duo of Dunham & Gustin would likely be stumped. Perhaps it's a Roadmaster New Yorker 'cause it was poichased in Poughkeepsie?

Confounded in Carolina,

TG

mrpushbutton · January 17, 2007

The only people who care about the use of the adjective "classic" are the members of the CCCA. To the print and broadcast media, and the man on the street every car just beyond the median age of the used cars on today's lots are "classics". '65 Mustangs are "classics" to most people, as are Chebbies, Dodges and lots of other non-blueblood, pratical cars that do not have burled walnut instrument panels made from trees forested from his majesty's estate.

I don't personally use the term, but the whole world does. The CCCA even had to manufacture their "full classic" claptrap to counter this.

TG57Roadmaster · January 17, 2007

I prefer "full-blown Classic"; much more respectful, but I don't think it'll pass Spellcheck. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

TG

"Wouldn't You Really Rather Buy a Buick...?

Rusty_OToole · January 17, 2007

Speaking of ads that make you wonder what they were thinking...

Does anybody remember Franklin's advertising campaign of the 20's that featured a Western theme? One ad showed a grizzled prospector panning gold with the headline "Opening a New Vein of Public Favor".

I doubt any car company would speak of opening veins in these safety conscious days.

How about a "Blowout Sale" on tires?

Or a "Blockbuster Sale" of antifreeze? They must be watering it down.

All 3 of these were actual ads. I'm sorry now I didn't clip them and save them for a laugh.

January 17, 2007

Well , you can make fun of all these car ads, but I've always wondered what is so original about cars with original miles.

TG57Roadmaster · January 17, 2007

"Blowout Tire" and "Blockbuster Anti-Freeze Sales" are more of what I'd call "Ironic" (and great, to boot!). Along that line (and I don't want to stray from the oxymoronic theme here), this this has to be one of creepiest. From "Holiday" magazine, 1948.

What was this company's slogan, "Buy our luggage, then Get Lost"?

TG

"Honey, can't we take the Super Chief?"

Amphicar BUYER · January 17, 2007

How about this one in today's politically correct climate...

Bhigdog · January 17, 2007

Sounds a lot better than "Gender Challenged Amphibian".....Bob

January 18, 2007

Was 'Climax control' an option & what was the extra $$$$$ <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

Bhigdog,

I'm sure this pre-Swimsuit Issue-era spokeswoman would agree, though they say

these days she's somewhat of a cold fish. You're not a cop, are you?

TG

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

53Nailhead,

Don't know the cost of that feature; have to double-check my order sheet for the right box.

I'd say it's worth way more than $4995! (As long as it's "extra clean".)

TG

I'll get my girl right on that option-price query...I've been so swamped that I had to take on an

extra staffer; her name's Burlene "Dee" Voyage and her equipment's much faster than mine.

Granted, she's not much of a looker, but she's fluent in french, knows a little greek,

with hand's that can tickle a keyboard like nobody's business. And can she cook!

But, your request will have to wait till she's done with her Cadillac piece...

Dave@Moon · January 18, 2007

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sounds a lot better than "Gender Challenged Amphibian".....Bob </div></div>

Bob, the last time I checked a duck was a bird, not an amphibian! <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

BTW, on the subject of politically incorrect marketing nobody could beat Jaguar. I have a book with a picture of their display for the 1973 New York Auto Show. The models are topless. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

carbdoc · January 18, 2007

One's assumtption is that this sort of stuff doesn't find itself into the public eye and ear anymoe, but I beg to differ.

Just recently a radio station in Charlotte aired an advertisement for a Cadillac SUV which featured the theme "Breakaway with Cadillac" and referred to the vehicle as "the most popular crossover SUV". "Breakaway" -- from thne driver's control? And "crossover" -- the median and crash into oncoming traffic?

I can't imagine an ad copy reader putting his stamp of approval on this -- any more than I can imagine "opening up a new vein" or "blowout tire sales" getting by the board, but there it is.

Jeff

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

On the subject of Cadillac,

Few ads are more desirable and collectible than the famous "Jeweled Cadillac" ads,

that ran from @ 1947 thru the early '60's. They don't get any better than this,

but I can't show it to you in its entirety; my equipment is dated,

and I've just got to get a bigger...scanner.

TG

Jewels by Van Cleef and Arpels

1937hd45 · January 18, 2007

Was MG the only company to buy their jacks and tools from the King Dick Tool Company?

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

Technology Triumphs!

I can't speak for MG, but Pontiac was certainly up to the task at hand.

In some of the most bizarre ads ever created, Fisher Body let loose

with these chestnuts that ran in '58 & '59. Their Dali-esque influence

speaks volumes; Elvis was in the Army, the Army was "experimenting" with

mind-bending hallucinogens, and some of it must have worn off on the ad agency

Boys from Detroit.

On a personal note, I discovered that my parameters have expanded, by shucking the scanner

and using a little digital manipulation to get Kodak Moment images of large-format magazine ads...

TG

Rinse It, Wipe It, And It's "Polished"!

Bhigdog · January 18, 2007

Yeah. I knew I was taking some literary license there. When I was in the navy we had 2 1/2 ton trucks that were classified as "amphibious". The official nomenclature was "DUKW" but everyone just called them "Ducks"......Bob

1937hd45 · January 18, 2007

One of the last places I'd think of testing motor oil would be a diving board. <img src="http://forums.aaca.org/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

stock_steve · January 18, 2007

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You're not a cop, are you?</div></div>

I'm laughing again--you're quick, TG!

Speaking of inexplicably dumb ads, here's what inspired my new AACA Forum avatar:

http://www.adrants.com/2006/10/meers-make-dlp-tv-better.php

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

Navy? Did somebody say Navy?

Why is it whenever I hear that word, I'm immediately reminded of the spectacle of a bunch of kinneygartners cavorting about the stage, gesticulating wildly to the classic Village People anthem "Y.M.C.A"? It's twue, 'cause I saw it on TV...(well, the local-access station, but still.)

It was Graduation Day, and that li'l number was the talent segment of their Commencement Program. And there, sitting in the audience beaming with pride, was mommer'n'daddy'an'em, their preacher, ALL the teachers and the Principle. "Isn't that precious, Ain't they kewt?"

"Excuse me, Mr. Hall Monitor...which way to the Vomitorium?"

Something tells me that today, this ad, of a '58 Fireflite loaded with seamen, just wouldn't fly.

TG

Heck, "YMCA" wasn't even their best work!

Proud Veteran of the post-Vietnam-era USN

TG57Roadmaster · January 18, 2007

Word of caution here,

Before you let those Nine Smart Sailors take a joyride in your Smart New DeSoto,

I suggest you get yourself some protection.

TG

Working With You For America

ronbarn · January 18, 2007

Back in 1927 when several manufacturers first put roll-up windows in their "roadsters", the industry knew they needed a new term. Before settling on "convertable" Marmon called their version a "collapsible coupe" - don't you know that made the sales staff happy!

West Peterson · January 18, 2007

The brits call 'em "dropheads."

By the way, is that car in the Dow ad a 1941 Cadillac?

Rusty_OToole · January 18, 2007

The Brits have a lot of unusual features on their cars. The 1931 Invicta advertised that their radiator was "mounted on rubber dog balls". The Lotus came with a Coventry Climax engine and the 1976 Lagonda sedan came with a "computer cum monitor". Not sure if that is the same as the "Climax Control"

TG57Roadmaster · January 19, 2007

Yes sir,

You are correct! Why ruin your plush Leather Upholstery in your new Cadillac,

when you can have Lustrous Plastic to protect you from the elements!

That, and the Nine Smart Sailors who just got Leave after 10 months at sea.

The one you should have asked is Ron Barnett, shown here in his '41 Caddy Cvt. Sdn. on the 1990 Founders Tour in Spencer, NC. Formerly the repair facility of the Southern Railway, the Spencer Shops are now the home of the NC Transportation Museum, well worth a visit when you're in the Charlotte area.

The AACA Hornets Nest Region commissioned me to do the hand-drawn logo for the '90 Founders Tour, and I've often wondered if it influenced the AACA Museum's logo that appeared a little later, or was merely a coincidence. Two great (?) minds thinking alike?

TG

Amphicar BUYER · January 19, 2007

Here's another one! Nothing says "boating" like a case of whiskey in the back seat!

TG57Roadmaster · January 19, 2007

Hmmm, drinking, driving, and boating. Throw your portable Crystal Meth Lab in the

(diminutive) trunk and it's sure-fire recipe for a High Time on the High Seas!

Got room for one more stowaway? You could tow me in my rubber raft.

TG

"I'll supply the Swizzle Sticks!"

TG57Roadmaster · January 20, 2007

These little nuggets are prime examples of:

Why Cousins Shouldn't Marry!

"We love this car that Buick forgot to build*, the one with the metal engine, washboard paint,

and recently new water pump; an original old car, found in an old barn, honest!"

Well, if it means so much to ya', why the Heck is it For Sale?!

TG

* Except in Australia: see; "1934 Buick Model 34 Roadster" Thread, over in the BCA Pre-war Forum.

stock_steve · January 20, 2007

It's funny how what we used to think of as "junk" has now become "desirable" ("...perfect for rat rod..."--we see that so often now in the old VW hobby).

Anyway, please excuse me now as I must now head to the garage to work on my car's "virgin metal" with a large mug of whiskey for refreshment.

Happy Saturday!

Rusty_OToole · January 27, 2007

Just saw an ad for this product and thought it fit with this thread, even though it isn't automotive.

How about a "Gaggia" coffee maker? I'm not kidding.

http://www.espressotec.com/hegaggia.asp

That belongs right up there with the "Ascot" chair.

TG57Roadmaster · January 28, 2007

"Make mine a Martini, Daaahling, den I vont to hear all about your clazzic Muzstang!"

That's right folks, here she is again, shilling for stainless steel hubcaps, America's most famous "Copper Whopper"...Zsa Zsa Gabor, with parade-boot poodle in tow. The star of such memorable films as, "Queen of Outer Space" (1958), "Boys Night Out" (1960), and her last flic, 1978's, "Every Girl Should Have One."

Born in Budapest circa 1920, she's about 45-ish in these U.S. Steel ads from 1965, and yes, of course she was the "Queen," but I can't figure out exactly what she "Should Have." Maybe a Manhattan?

Gag Me!

Ta-Ta For Now,

TG

(That's TTFN; "Queen-speak" for all you Earthlings.)

TG57Roadmaster · January 29, 2007

Hey Amphicar,

There are many words in our vast lexicon that have taken on new,

somewhat kinky meanings thru the years.

I think you'll agree that this is one.

TG

Wanna play ball?

TG57Roadmaster · January 29, 2007

The irony never seems to let up, well into the Seventies.

This one's downright sexist!

"Honey, no wonder you can't decide, what with that rat's nest on top of your skull!"

TG

(Makeup by Tammy Faye Bakker)

SledZeppelin · January 29, 2007

I thought this thread would lampoon the admittedly easy target of silly, irritating car commercials that run incessantly. I was forced to get by with nothing more than network/local affiliate TV for a few years, and there's no question that truck ads (and their infuriating jingles) are the most insipid, grating TV commercials of any kind.

Let's rehash some of the most recent offerings:

"I Want to Drive a Truck,"

"Ford is the Best in Texas,"

"Better in Texas, Better in a Dodge,"

whatever that monkey Toby Keith sang about,

"Like a Rock"

and now, a perversion of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" that runs INCESSANTLY!!!!

TG57Roadmaster · February 1, 2007

Sled,

Make it whatever you wish...just remember to enjoy taboos

wherever & whenever they appear...

(I wonder if Senator Joe Biden is a Cadillac Man?)

TG

We lived in Durand (note depot name), right across the road from the legendary "Durand Dirties",

a notorious XXX-rated Drive-In Movie Theater...didn't even notice it till this post!

Rusty_OToole · February 1, 2007

Do they still have those stupid Mazda ads with the "zoom zoom" kid? That is the most irritating ad campaign of all time.

The stupidest ad campaign of all time was those "Joe Isuzu" ads. Go buy a car whose spokesman is a pathological liar and proud of it. Ya right. I guess it was enough to sink the company, I haven't seen an Isuzu in years?

2 makes of car I will never buy.

Another place I will never shop is The Brick Warehouse. They had this announcer with the most horribly inbred Southern rube accent. "Thuh Breeyuk Wayer Hayouse". What the heck, maybe they were going for the moron trade. Don't know if they ever sold anything, I haven't heard their ads for years, they probably went broke too.

TG57Roadmaster · February 1, 2007

Yeah, those were annoying ads...They still use the "Zoom-Zoom" kid,

only just in voice-overs. Like Harry Potter, you can't stop 'em from

growing up.

Word on the "skreet" is that the Z-Z Boy will have a cameo in

Paris Hilton's next Home Movie...a "walk-in" role.

I think I found some hubcaps from that annoying place somewhere in the Southland.

Did a double-take when I laid eyes on these ersatz caps. They must have been sold

thru Warshawsky's or other parts wayerhayouses. You just don't understand South-Speak;

the laying-on of extra, useless syllables is the highest form of "Gentility!"

TG

TG57Roadmaster · February 11, 2007

Just in time for Cocktail Hour, this from the 1940 Dodge Luxury Liner brochure.

TG

Got anything for gas?

Stupid Auto Ads

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