TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE A HARFORD REGION CHRISTMAS

[Guest BruceW]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE A HARFORD REGION CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Bel Air,

You could hear church bells ringing and Christmas songs blare.

Down the street was a party at St. Margaret's Hall.

Members of Harford Region were having a ball.

When out on the street there arose such a racket,

like somebody's muffler had broken its bracket

We rushed to the door just in time to behold,

a fifty-seven Cadillac with a grill made of gold

The Caddy wheezed loudly as it pulled in the lot.

The muffler was dragging and the engine was hot.

Its paint was faded, the body was battered.

But to all of the people it was the driver that mattered.

His sideburns were gray and his hair was receeding.

With help from some glasses a map he was reading.

"I am lost once again and my car's broken down",

he was heard to exclaim as the club gathered round.

When the driver got out and gyrated his pelvis,

one of the ladies cried out "My Goodness, It's Elvis!"

Dressed in a red jump suit with sequins galore,

he related a story never told before.

He had grown tired of fame and the hassle it brought,

He had answered a want ad in a paper he'd bought.

Seems that back in the 70's, Santa knew he was aging.

There were new labor laws and his hemroids were raging.

Mrs. Claus had left him for a much younger elf,

the reindeer ran off, leaving Santa by himself.

When Elvis heard the story, he started to sob,

He left right away and applied for the job.

He loaded a suitcase and guitar in the back,

and headed up north in his pink Cadillac.

But now Elvis was in Harford; broken down and all lost.

Toys had to be delivered no matter the cost.

The ladies took him inside for rest and a drink,

while the men had the car jacked up in a wink.

With some wire and a hose the car was repaired,

while a snack for Elvis the ladies prepared.

And when he came out, the old swagger was there,

He looked some years younger as he combed back his hair.

Back to the car he strode like a king,

and "Love Me Tender" he started to sing.

Elvis started the engine and was ready to drive

as we gave him directions to I-95.

He wished us Merry Christmas and let out the clutch

Then Elvis said Thank you.... Thank you very much".