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Snubbed by the youngsters?


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I went to a large car show yesterday in PA. I would say maybe 200 cars? Anyway, there is always talk of young people today not interested in old cars, etc. etc. First was a very unique Japanese hearse. I have seen these in print, never one in person. I went up to the young guy that was driving and my first question was where it was from. Japan, was the one word answer as he turned around and walked away. OK. A bit later 2 'kids' in a hopped up model a roadster rat rod came in. Again I approached and attempted to start a conversation, and was briskly rejected with a short answer and the guys turning away.

 

I am an easy going person and can pretty much start a conversation with anyone. Dont get me wrong, these guys didnt hurt my feelings but I thought I would at least try to get a conversation going with someone without grey hair.

Guess I was too old to spark their interest.

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It's just kids being kids. My 15-year-old son inadvertently sounds like a total jerk every time he opens his mouth. He isn't, but he's got a way of talking that makes him sound unpleasant. I've had a talk with him and I expect he'll outgrow it eventually.

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No worries, they'll be in our shoes someday. You were kinder than I'd have been for sure. I've gotten entirely too quick to tell someone to do anatomically impossible things...

 

I was out on the Olds wagon a few years back and ran up on a broken Honda. I knew two of the boys and always kept tools in that car, so stopped to offer help. 

 

The Honda's owner was a pint-sized jerk, to be kind, and quickly told me he'd handle it because I couldn't possibly know anything about high-performance cars. Said OK, the tools are in the car if you need them.

 

His buds were about to pee themselves trying not to laugh. As I walked away heard one of them ask Honda boy if he had any drag racing track records. "No why?" "He does. Reckon he knows anything about a high-performance car?" and then the two of them lost it and Honda boy's jaw hit the pavement.

 

Age and treachery...

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46 minutes ago, rocketraider said:

Age and treachery...

Reminds me of the senior gentleman who was pulling up to parallel park his Bently when, quick as a wink, a 20 year old fellow in a small sports car wheels in behind him and grabs the spot. 

He jumps out of his car, smirking and as he passes the old boy he says "See old timer, if you were young and quick like me, you could've done that."

Without flinching, the old boy puts the Bently in reverse and, to the chagrin of the younger man, proceeds to crush the little sports car between his rear bumper and the car behind.  He steps from the car and says to the young man "And if you were old and rich like me, you could've done that".

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1 hour ago, GregLaR said:

Reminds me of the senior gentleman who was pulling up to parallel park his Bently when, quick as a wink, a 20 year old fellow in a small sports car wheels in behind him and grabs the spot. 

He jumps out of his car, smirking and as he passes the old boy he says "See old timer, if you were young and quick like me, you could've done that."

Without flinching, the old boy puts the Bently in reverse and, to the chagrin of the younger man, proceeds to crush the little sports car between his rear bumper and the car behind.  He steps from the car and says to the young man "And if you were old and rich like me, you could've done that".

 

Actually, that was Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

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Considering the near constant insults, sniping and put downs younger people get at car shows it's not wholly surprising they didn't want to open up to a stranger. 

 

Other than the one you watched enter it's almost a guarantee somebody had already told them that day their car belongs in a parking lot or presumed they knew nothing about their own car. 

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I once got waved down by four people in their early 20s while out in my Hudson in a quiet rural area; their modern had broken down. Got them going and all was good. I suspect the OP was just unlucky with the people he met. 

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I’ve seen both sides of this discussion.  I was 20 in 1996 and took my 68 Nova to a local cruise night with a friend who was a year younger in his 69 Camaro. Both cars were nasty small block 4 speed cars with muncies, 12 bolts with 4:56’s and M&H dot slicks. 
 

While walking around we ran into an older guy that had a 70 Chevelle. I asked him about the big block and he claimed it was an LS6 blah blah blah. When I asked why the oval port heads he got pissed and told me I was a punkass kid that’s never ridden in a car that old. My friend quickly told him we both had cars there older and faster and we’d drag him right now. 
I just tried to talk to the guy and he was pissed I knew more about his car than he did. 
Fast forward 24 years and a friends son who likes Subaru WRX cars was a complete butthead to me over my old Impala. He’s 20 and acted like a prick about my old car that doesn’t corner etc etc. I just tried to relate to the punk. 
The lesson learned is, we’re always gonna encounter pricks no matter what age they are. 

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Put 6 people from the last two generations in a room together and they don't know how to have a verbal conversation with each other right along an older person..

  I blame it on home schooling, it has taken a toll on communication and socialization skills.. But they get to sit home with mommy all day so she can tell them how great and important they are.. They never have to come in second or Gaud for bid, LOSE or FAIL.

 

I don't know how many times I have listed something for sale on C.L. or Marketplace and had some idiot want to communicate by texting my land line phone.. That ends up in a hang up real quick, one clown got hung up on 4 times in 7 minutes before he finally moved on! 

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Posted (edited)

Probably didn’t help I told the guy my daily driver Regal with a 71 455 would outrun his fake SS Chevelle!! I piled on a bit after my friend took a shot at him! 
I still remember being full of it and young. Gotta say though, the texting and video conference age has really hurt interpersonal skills. That and parents don’t teach children how to be respectful or of the golden rule 

 

 

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Edited by BobinVirginia (see edit history)
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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, TAKerry said:

I went to a large car show yesterday in PA. I would say maybe 200 cars? Anyway, there is always talk of young people today not interested in old cars, etc. etc. First was a very unique Japanese hearse. I have seen these in print, never one in person. I went up to the young guy that was driving and my first question was where it was from. Japan, was the one word answer as he turned around and walked away. OK. A bit later 2 'kids' in a hopped up model a roadster rat rod came in. Again I approached and attempted to start a conversation, and was briskly rejected with a short answer and the guys turning away.

 

I am an easy going person and can pretty much start a conversation with anyone. Dont get me wrong, these guys didnt hurt my feelings but I thought I would at least try to get a conversation going with someone without grey hair.

Guess I was too old to spark their interest.

Thank you for reaching out to the young guys! I dealt with guys that weren’t friendly. Most of my car friends are 20+ years older than me. Some like @Grimyare even older and have reached out to me. The car hobby or interest has no age I’ve determined. Just a passion that people have. It’s very cost prohibitive but it always drove me to work harder when I was younger. You’ve created a great way to discuss the age variant within the hobby. 
Even as advanced as @edinmassis he constantly offers advice and knowledge to guys like me. However he’s not afraid to tell you you’re doing something stupid! HAHAHA 

Edited by BobinVirginia (see edit history)
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22 minutes ago, BHWINCVAP said:

I blame it on home schooling, it has taken a toll on communication and socialization skills..

 

Boy, are you WRONG! It's the damn smartphone that has eroded communication and socialization skills. All these iPhone users know how to do is text - they do NOT want to speak with anyone using their voices. Just ask the kids - they do NOT want to actually carry on a conversation because it can't be done with emoticons. Get it right, man.

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1 minute ago, Studemax said:

 

Boy, are you WRONG! It's the damn smartphone that has eroded communication and socialization skills. All these iPhone users know how to do is text - they do NOT want to speak with anyone using their voices. Just ask the kids - they do NOT want to actually carry on a conversation because it can't be done with emoticons. Get it right, man.

I agree that the virtual discussion has really hurt effective interpersonal skills. Most young folks now don’t understand the ugly comments in person have consequences like they did when I was young. A fist to the mouth and nose tends to teach a lesson that’s not forgotten. 

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My son outgrew his sulky phase in high school. He got interested in the speech teem, joined, did well...and learned the importance of connecting with other people in the process. Kids have to be snubbed a few times themselves to fully appreciate the value of a friendly face.

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5 hours ago, TAKerry said:

Guess I was too old to spark their interest.

Do not knock yourself out. I know when I was young and single I was not looking for another male to strike up a conversation with. 

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Comments about interpersonal skills have touched on either home schooling, or electronic only communication. The real problem is both. Either one alone is on the wrong road to socialization. The two together can spell disaster.

 

As to kids being jerks and not listening? My experience over thirty years ago. I pulled into a strip mall with a fast food place (one that wasn't too bad?) to grab lunch. As I parked, I saw four high school age football player types trying to push and pop the clutch to start a small Toyota sedan. They would get it moving well, and pop the clutch to a resounding screech skid stop. I walked toward them as they all leaned against the car to take a few breaths, and offered some help AND advice. I told them I could help push, but ONLY if they put the car in high gear to pop the clutch! They said "Hey no way man! you gotta spin the engine to make it start! Everybody KNOWS you gotta put it in first gear to make the engine spin!" I then politely told them that they could push and pop the clutch till doomsday and skid the wheels every time and never get it started! Put it in high gear or MAYBE a higher intermediate gear and you will start in a couple pushes IF the engine doesn't have some other significant problem. They repeated their "gotta spin it" again and I said have fun and walked in to get my lunch.

Almost the whole time, I waited for my order, ate, relaxed for my lunchbreak, I watched out the window as they pushed, skid, pushed, skid, pushed, skid. Another breather, trade pilot seat then repeat pushed, skid , pushed, skid, pushed, skid , from one end of the parking lot to the other, then back, and then back again. And again.

Just as I was about finished with my lunch, the scene changed. I couldn't hear a sound from them, but it was clear they were arguing! Mouths flapping, arms waving, the kind of stance a couple roosters take when they are about to shred each other. Then a different kid with his arms still waving got into the car, and the other three pushed, no skid! Fired up the first try!

I don't know if their interpersonal skills improved or not? But I'll bet they never tried to push start a car in first gear again!

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Some of it simply boils down to maturity and communication skills.  I think the earlier one gets those skills down, the more successful they are going to be on just about any chosen path.  

 

That's not to say many mature folks never master that or common courtesy.  As others pointed out already, those basics can be lacking regardless of age.  I wouldn't get too hung up on it.

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I totally agree with @Steve_Mack_CT.

 

My experience was a car dad bought, a 1951 Nash Canadian Statesman which I still have today. He drove it to a Car Club function for the first time and the 'President' of the Club had the gall to say to him "What did you buy that damned thing for?". 

This was 1968 and I was there to hear it.

This man was an abrupt crud guy so dad quipped back, "I bought it to make guys like you ask questions".

 

None the less, like stated above, that behaviour knows no real age limits. 

 

2023950727_BettyAbDavidIves51Nash.jpg.e389bd2193e27b6556bb383e88e0be26.jpg

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10 hours ago, BobinVirginia said:

Please keep trying to reach out guys! It just takes that one moment to inspire a young person! 

I taught 5 to 12 year old kids for nearly 40 years, got everyone as I taught art so that was 1,000 kids a week, it also included special "gifted" classes for kids who had excellent honors grades and wanted an advanced art class ( i taught architecture - they had to finish making a scale model house that was about 18 "x 18" by 15") plus winters (for 4 months every year) I taught extra art classes half a day because there were kids that were not into sports but were creative and really loved making things. This was at a time when no kid had any kind of cell phone.

Absolutely - kids need to be inspired, that takes trust and they can sense genuine enthusiasm. Plus a lot of patience that they may not be receiving anyplace else.

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Quite a few years ago I standardized a comment that has fit the bill on many occasions- "It's not you personally. It's those who came before." Predictability is a talent that comes early in life.

 

I watch the same things kids watch. When my wife and I see an old man holding his hands out touching his fingertips to his thumbs she knows I'm going to ask if he is having a seizure or stroke. She already knows he is pantomiming a kid with a cell phone from me pointing it out many times before. Like the insurance company says "It's what they do".

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Posted (edited)

I'm almost shocked that the older I get(since my 40's to over 60 now) how well the younger set respond and receive me in any situation.

Probably because I'm more child like  and animated then most folks of my age ,secondly ,I instinctively engage youngers in a way that is closer to their level and start off about them and it shows I'm interested ,then go on from there.

 

I find 95% of the present day  self absorb (appearing) teens and ones into their late 20's are almost starved for live interactions and behave very well.

 

That being said,a brat is a brat and I don't feel the need to approach one and pick up on it at first sight.

 

Pre teen kids (and animals)just love me for some reason ,maybe because I'm always willing to talk to them while the parents ignore them?

.I don't mind kids or teens around( when most adults do) and will drop what ever I'm doing for" tea time" with the girls next door when invited,or show kids in the park some of my old skateboard chops ,after I see one take a spill..

Then I wipe out showing off and they love it..LOL.

 

I never get flack or odd glares from the grown ups...

 

 

I'm a lousy comunicator here,because I think your all to old for me I guess.😜

 

An adult should always remember a a youth is still a child and an adult is still a child and a youth combined.

 

If you condsider yourself a 100% serious full grown adult(and there is no such thing) your in trouble.

Funny that the ones who think this are usually the biggest babies about many things  in the end.

 

I have to go...Time to blow up some G.I. Joe dolls with Tommy before his dad comes home.

Edited by Flivverking (see edit history)
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Maybe I have been lucky but I have initiated many conversations with younger car owners at cars and coffee events and have been surprised at how eager they are to talk about their rides. The cars involved have ranged from engine swapped Japanese models to legit antiques and hot rods. It may be that the groups at these events were mostly grey and grizzled like me and the youngsters were being ignored and glad to be able to engage. Like the OP I am interested in all kinds of vehicles and try to get out of my comfort zone if possible.

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16 hours ago, joe_padavano said:

 

Actually, that was Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

I don't think I've seen that movie Joe, but I must have heard that old joke back in the late 60's, as probably many others did as well (including the writers for this 1990's movie).  But it's always nice to have a visual to go with the text! 😄

Cheers!

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I don't think that is only youngsters. Did you ever try to ask a question or try to carryon a conversation with the owner of a car at a Concours d' Elegance. I was looking at a beautiful early Cadillac at a Concours event one day and complemented the owner on the restoration. He just smiled at me without saying a word, thank you would have been nice. I asked him a question about the restoration,  and without answering my question, said to lady friend "I'm going to take a walk and look at my competition". Oh well!

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Perhaps the fellow with the early Cadillac did not restore the car and did not know the answer! Many owners have no clue about the restored car they own as they sent it out and had it done or bought it done.  A great friend of mine is not a hands on , does his own work, kind of guy. He can wipe a car down and polish it, digs deep to find the history on it but just never had anyone nor the time to teach him what to do. When he had a car restored he bought I suggested who to restore it and would go with him to see the work being done and explain the process, as I have had hands on experience in all phases of that with two cars I was involved in doing a chassis up restoration. My friend does sing the praises of the people who do the work for him . 

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20 hours ago, TAKerry said:

I went to a large car show yesterday in PA. I would say maybe 200 cars? Anyway, there is always talk of young people today not interested in old cars, etc. etc. First was a very unique Japanese hearse. I have seen these in print, never one in person. I went up to the young guy that was driving and my first question was where it was from. Japan, was the one word answer as he turned around and walked away. OK. A bit later 2 'kids' in a hopped up model a roadster rat rod came in. Again I approached and attempted to start a conversation, and was briskly rejected with a short answer and the guys turning away.

 

I am an easy going person and can pretty much start a conversation with anyone. Dont get me wrong, these guys didnt hurt my feelings but I thought I would at least try to get a conversation going with someone without grey hair.

Guess I was too old to spark their interest.

 

Could be fear or insecurity that they deal with on a personal level or just having a bad day.

Or

Maybe they have had threatening experiences with old clowns and don't trust any one their elder? 
Who knows what goes through another persons mind or what experiences they've had. 

 

I've noticed some kids feel pressure not to talk or associate with people older than them because they'll get ridiculed by their buddies. Disrespect is nothing new...

 

Could also be the stranger danger syndrome instilled in so many kids from birth because of all the creepers.

Also, after being robbed of a year of social life it could just be something as silly as getting comfortable talking to others in person again.

 

Who knows what it is but kudos to you for trying Terry. Most kids that are into cars are normal kids so definitely wouldn't take it personal.

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Posted (edited)

Sometimes, and this may not be the case, you grow tired of answering questions or... there is simply no explanation. One day a few years ago I had just finished a wonderful day kayaking out of Portland, Maine. As I pulled my kayak up on the beach A middle aged lady approached. Now the kayak I was paddling at the time was a traditional skin-on-frame Greenland kayak. The skin was a ballistic nylon that I had tinted to resemble seal skin. She commented how she liked my "boat" then asked what the skin was. Being tired, wave tossed, sun burned, starving, dehydrated and in a hurry to pack up and get some warm, dry cloths on I flippantly replied "Seal skin... I had to club a lot of the buggers to get enough to cover it." The look on her face was less than amused.

 

I like to think that I have reformed over the years.

Edited by Terry Harper (see edit history)
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4 hours ago, 46 woodie said:

I don't think that is only youngsters. Did you ever try to ask a question or try to carryon a conversation with the owner of a car at a Concours d' Elegance. I was looking at a beautiful early Cadillac at a Concours event one day and complemented the owner on the restoration. He just smiled at me without saying a word, thank you would have been nice. I asked him a question about the restoration,  and without answering my question, said to lady friend "I'm going to take a walk and look at my competition". Oh well!

That guy just couldn't hear, or read lips.

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4 hours ago, JFranklin said:

That guy just couldn't hear, or read lips.

 

Wonder if he could see well enough to read sign language? 

 

Now, back to trying to encourage the yougn's.

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On 7/4/2021 at 11:25 PM, BHWINCVAP said:

I blame it on home schooling, it has taken a toll on communication and socialization skills.. But they get to sit home with mommy all day so she can tell them how great and important they are.. They never have to come in second or Gaud for bid, LOSE or FAIL.

 

I don't know how many times I have listed something for sale on C.L. or Marketplace and had some idiot want to communicate by texting my land line phone.. That ends up in a hang up real quick, one clown got hung up on 4 times in 7 minutes before he finally moved on! 

That comment is far from the truth, based in ignorance and intentionally offensive. There's 100s of thousands of home schooled kids that network with other homeschool groups to learn social skills, they travel and share resources to provide specialist in different subjects and they aren't stuck in a large one teacher class room full of brats and distractions. Most of the ones I know are more outgoing, well behaved and smarter than any of the failed public indoctrination students I've met. The electronic communication may be part of the problem however if you aren't using it to some degree today then you're the one that's been left behind, out of touch and will be cast aside.

To the O.P., some of it may have been your approach by asking a question that can be answered in one word. I've found that looking at their car and saying  "Cool car, I've never seen one like it, what can you tell me about it?",  gives the impression that you're genuinely interested and leaves an open ended question that the kid has to engage. Kids are interested and they want to talk about theirs, but they don't want to be tested or appeased. If they think you really care they'll open up.

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Maturity/Grace comes in different doses and timelines. 
 

some young people show it early and have it in spades......keep your eye on them, it can be a fun ride. 
 

some young people don’t have it, but a life changing experience or the concept of “late bloomer” eventually brings those social skills to the table. 
 

some people don’t have it and never do. It is easy to avoid these types. Getting involved with them is rarely satisfying. 
 

regardless of which type, don’t kid yourself into thinking you have control over this expression of their personality.   Taking on the responsibility of “molding them” to have what they don’t possess is going to end up being a very disappointing experience. 

in my life, raising kids, coaching ball teams, career in the military, seeing patients in private practice......I have had to learn this lesson.........and fortunately or unfortunately, I keep getting to relearn it. 

 

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Posted (edited)

I work with 17 & 18 year old students every day. In general I find that they are eager to share interests and information. However, it takes a certain comfort level and situation for them to do so. For instance when I pose a question to the class as a whole they are very, very reluctant to volunteer an answer and when they do its without confidence. Contrast this to when they were in grade school  - Kindergarten, First grade etc. If you asked a question almost every hand would shoot up in the air and they couldn't wait to be called on. So what happened? Fear. Fear of their peers if they get it wrong or say something that could be construed as odd or funny. So... they keep it to themselves. Three years of Middle school (the absolute culture of cruelty) has a strong influence in this regard. However, one-on-one or in a small group they are comfortable with they open up and its amazing the creativity, talent and intelligence they are willing to share.

 

This also translates to out in public. As a young person its intimidating talking to an older, allegedly wiser person that you do not know and is way outside your peer group. Remember that we are far removed from the days when multiple generations lived under the same roof - when having lengthy conversations with your Grandfather or Grandmother and saying hi and conversing with old Mr. Smith who lived next door was the norm.  Heck, I am 57 and I ran into that last week. I was working with a group of older gentleman all in their 70's and 80's. Every time I opened my mouth I felt like I was saying something stupid or telling them something they already knew so I kept quite. What I was feeling wasn't reality - it was my perception shaped by self consciousness. As our time together progressed, one gentleman made a concerted effort to make me feel comfortable and part of the group - In the end we had a great day. 

 

Thinking back, during my life some of the greatest friends, influences and teachers  I have had (and have) were and are older people - many are sadly gone now. But all of them made the effort to communicate with me and always treated me as an equal. Maybe its not the youth that need to change. Maybe its us.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Terry Harper (see edit history)
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Posted (edited)
On 7/4/2021 at 8:18 PM, rocketraider said:

I was out on the Olds wagon a few years back and ran up on a broken Honda. I knew two of the boys and always kept tools in that car, so stopped to offer help. 

 

The Honda's owner was a pint-sized jerk, to be kind, and quickly told me he'd handle it because I couldn't possibly know anything about high-performance cars. Said OK, the tools are in the car if you need them.

 

His buds were about to pee themselves trying not to laugh. As I walked away heard one of them ask Honda boy if he had any drag racing track records. "No why?" "He does. Reckon he knows anything about a high-performance car?" and then the two of them lost it and Honda boy's jaw hit the pavement.

 

Age and treachery...

Years ago I used to frequent a brand specific car forum where a wide variety of car people of various ages interacted. Members would seek advise and answers about various car modifications and problems. I always found it interesting how some members would tell other members offering solutions or advice that they didn't know what they were talking about. One particular discussion regarding suspension modifications to increase handling and steering performance was particularly amusing. A forum member went to great lengths to explain in detail that the modifications being made by the owner would not bring about the desired result. He instead offered his thoughts as to how to achieve the intended goal. He did this in a very nice, logical way that in no way could be thought of as anything but trying to help. The car owner and several others told this poster that he knew nothing about the subject or the car in question and to go away. Needless to say I laughed my you-know-what-off at the response to his help.

 

You may ask why I was so amused by this discussion. Well, I happened to know what this person did for a living and what he did for fun. He kept that information to himself but he did share it with me. He just happened to be an automotive engineer who worked for the automaker that built the vehicles featured in this forum and the model in this discussion. In his spare time he drove on a racing team that raced that vehicle. I once asked him why he endured all the nasty posts regarding his posts that tried to help people. He told he did it to educate and help the next generation of automotive enthusiasts.

Edited by charlier (see edit history)
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“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
 

 EAC81AA9-8EE2-4257-A287-CF8908837DF6.jpeg.e0ff308136dd3fe4b2f78f80959b253c.jpeg

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On 7/5/2021 at 1:46 PM, 46 woodie said:

I don't think that is only youngsters. Did you ever try to ask a question or try to carryon a conversation with the owner of a car at a Concours d' Elegance. I was looking at a beautiful early Cadillac at a Concours event one day and complemented the owner on the restoration. He just smiled at me without saying a word, thank you would have been nice. I asked him a question about the restoration,  and without answering my question, said to lady friend "I'm going to take a walk and look at my competition". Oh well!

 

I hear you!

A few years ago I was at a localish engine/tractor show where there was a guy, probably 10-15 years my senior, who had an immaculate Buick Big Six skid mounted engine on display.

He was at his display and I remarked to him what an outstanding job he had done.

 

Crickets......I mean.......N O T H I N G

 

I said a few words, actually more than a few one of which may have been hole, under my breath and walked away....... 😈

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Posted (edited)

That's unfortunate to hear about the one word answer, but i wouldnt worry too much about it. i know i have done it in social situations, sometimes your just not ready for a question, blurt something out and a few minutes later after you've walked away, you think, "eugh, why'd i say that!?" and dwell on it for a bit, or something. 

 

I dont know if i qualify as a younger person now at 33, but for atleast the last 12yrs, i've had cars that were older than me, and i really cant remember a time I thought i was being mistreated as a younger, old car enthusiast, or snubbing someone who is older. I'd have to say its pretty much the complete opposite, and everyone's always been pretty cool to me regardless of  age, with any of my varied car interests, or people with higher priced cars, etc. Sure there are some obnoxious people in any group, and sometimes, i'll feel like i'm being quizzed by someone i'm just making small talk with, but nothing ever really malicious. I'll usually talk to anyone about anything as long as they aren't being an ass!

Edited by Stooge (see edit history)
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