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Jim Bollman
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edinmass 25,000+ Points

edinmass

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4 hours ago, Morgansdad said:

Must have been quite the car !


I bet you she wanted a pair as big as the cars head lights!

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bdc 1,000+ Points

bdc

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20 years ago a customer of mine had 1 of those old black upright phones with the dial disc on the front and the horn on top mounted on the dash of his pickup, and if someone rode with him he hit a switch with his foot and it would start ringing after which he would pick it up and have a "conversation ".

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auburnseeker 25,000+ Points

auburnseeker

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23 hours ago, oldcarfudd said:

If those phones were the Very Latest Thing, I wonder why they didn't at least put them in a Chevy with PowerGlide. 

It was to show you how coordinated our ancestors were,  Dialing a rotary phone while you're in traffic with a stick car while looking the number up in the phone book.  That takes skill. 

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SC38dls 25,000+ Points

SC38dls

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14 hours ago, auburnseeker said:

It was to show you how coordinated our ancestors were,  Dialing a rotary phone while you're in traffic with a stick car while looking the number up in the phone book.  That takes skill. 

Kind of like driving the Ike expressway in Chicago and seeing how many women are putting on makeup while talking on a phone and of course driving, or the guy with his computer on his lap with the phone and driving. Just different skills for different times!  

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auburnseeker 25,000+ Points

auburnseeker

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1 hour ago, Billy Kingsley said:

Back  in 1997 I saw a man playing a trumpet with one hand and steering with the other. I wish I had had a digital camera at that point but it was still several years away. It was in Poughkeepsie NY. 

Hard to find mariachi music on the radio in Poughkeepsie so he had to improvise. ;) 

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Jim Bollman 10,000+ Points

Jim Bollman

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"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner!"

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George Cole 10,000+ Points

George Cole

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TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM

SKILLSAW:

A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.

BELT SANDER:

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

WIRE WHEEL:

Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'.

DRILL PRESS:

A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

Channel Locks:

Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

HACKSAW:

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:

Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:

Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

Also very effective for digit removal!

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:

Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

COMMON SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

PVC PIPE CUTTER:

A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.

HAMMER:

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:

Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

 

SON OF A BITCH TOOL:

Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

 

 

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Morgansdad 1,000+ Points

Morgansdad

Posted
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1 hour ago, George Cole said:

 

 

 

TOOLS AND HOW TO USE THEM

 

SKILLSAW:

A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.

 

BELT SANDER:

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

 

WIRE WHEEL:

Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'.

 

DRILL PRESS:

A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

 

Channel Locks:

Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

 

HACKSAW:

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

 

VISE-GRIPS:

Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

 

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:

Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

 

TABLE SAW:

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

Also very effective for digit removal!

 

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:

Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

 

BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

 

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.

 

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

 

COMMON SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

 

PRY BAR:

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

 

PVC PIPE CUTTER:

A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.

 

HAMMER:

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

 

UTILITY KNIFE:

Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

 

SON OF A BITCH TOOL:

Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

 

 

Thanks George Cole, I really needed this today !  Maybe, just maybe, I'm not as crazy as I had thought !

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