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auburnseeker
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2 hours ago, auburnseeker said:

 Only 5 more years of our life before we can kick him out.

When my wife and I married 38 years ago tomorrow we each had two kids and both received full custody.  Putting the two families together required a fair amount of family counseling.  A quote from our counselor that i never forgot.  "you are expected to love your children, no one said you had to LIKE them"  He also stressed that nothing is more important than the lasting relationship between you and your wife.  Children are transitory.  After I retired we took in two different foster children at different times, neither of which worked out well although we hope we instilled a sense of love and family in their memory.. No one who hasn't been there can appreciate your situation  All you can do is your best.

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We adopted ours through the foster care system, one was 1 when we got him and the other was picked up at the hospital after being born.  We were Foster parents for 2 years then they came up for adoption (half brother and sister) so we adopted them.  The Wife wanted to save the world.  They say no good deed goes unpunished.  We are living it. 

We had one of our own afterwards and named her Auburn.  We have since come to realize 99.9% genetics and .1% environment.   

It's good we had her though as we could have never understood there is a joy to parenting we would have never experienced with the other 2. 

Hard facts of life one can't understand or even believe until they have been through it all. 

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4 minutes ago, auburnseeker said:

It's not as bad when it's your own that you created,  then it's kind of your own fault for providing poor genes,  but when you take in someone else's, it's twice as hard of a pill to swallow. 

 

Your wife has a great heart,  and you do to for supporting her.  Hopefully when the kids are older they will tell you how much they appreciate what you did for them.

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Doing the right thing and helping others is never a mistake, Randy. You're doing what you can, it's stressful, but I'm confident all parties involved will be better people for it. As bad as it seems, I sincerely hope a time comes when it feels different to you and I fully expect it will. With time comes maturity and reflection, even in young people. My 14-year-old (not my blood, but I've raised him as my own and consider him my son, not just a step-son) is becoming kind of a d*ck, but with some guidance I expect he'll grow out of it. My father and I had plenty of rows when I was a teenager, but by the time I was 18, I understood that my folks had done OK by me. I hope it will be the same for you.

 

In the meantime, you have my utmost respect and admiration for accepting the job you've taken on. I've always believed that good people make good people, and I don't think you'll be an exception. Time will help and heal.

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I appreciate the kind words guys.  I'll share them with the wife maybe she'll feel better, though after today's school work she might take up drinking.  Being parents is one thing having to become a mandatory teacher on top of that with a student that was really struggling in school is even more trying.  His Teachers had trouble with him and I can tell you it's not been any better at home. 

 

Matt I hope it works out with your son.  My Father and I , even my Grandfather all had a great relationship so it's hard to comprehend, while I'm trying to follow in their shoes why it seems to have gone so far astray. 

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He'll be fine. He's a good kid. All 14-year-olds are jerks. It's their nature. I find that treating him as an equal I trust instead of a stupid kid all the time works well. I try not to talk down to him and I adopted some of his interests (he's not into cars) so we can speak a common language. Just being sincere and treating him as a person seems to work best. Explaining why things need to be a certain way instead of saying, "Because I said so," like my father did. I dread the day he says, "You're not my real father," but maybe it won't come if I do things right.

 

Melanie is doing a bulk of the teaching here and for the most part it's going well, but I do need to step in sometimes if only to keep both boys focused. They're here at the shop with us all day, and I keep catching the older one playing on his phone instead of doing school work. I actually caught him the other day with two chairs in the conference room pulled together so he could take a nap. Not OK, but we laughed instead of making an issue and he still got the message.

 

Fathers and sons, eh? I suspect it has always been thus.

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I think I realized the worst part is watching those two torment Auburn as I listen to her sister that just snapped and went off the deep end on her again.  Seems when one isn't the other is.   Atleast they take turns and don't gang up at once,  if that's any kind of comfort. 

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Randy, I agree with Matt.......it will get better. I come from a large family with many half siblings. As everyone matured things kept getting better. My five older sisters never physically disciplined their children........(very liberal).....and in my humble opinion its sometimes necessary. Ten years ago Tracey's youngest boy (14) shoved her after a disagreement. His father was out of town, and I learned of it a few hours later. I dropped what I was doing and drove over to their home. At the time I was tipping the scales at 355 lbs. He knew "Uncle Eddie" doesn't the sxxt from any child. When he decided to talk back to me I offered him the same education I was given as a young boy........respect all elders or pay the price. When he was able to get up off the ground...........it took a little while, he then came to live with me for two weeks. By the time he left he was in tears wanting to go home. Never had a problem with him after that. He went from wild child to decent young adult. I thought for sure he would end up in prison...............where is he today? He just finished the police academy and started patrolling last week. There is hope for all the children, some are much more difficult than others. I'm sure you will get through it....just take it on day at a time. Best, Ed

Edited by edinmass (see edit history)
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Not to digress too far, but on the flip side, we used to go to a friends' house all the time for weekend dinners and BBQ, and one of his neighbors was a big, fat, loud obnoxious brute of a guy. He had this really sweet, smart, good-natured son who was about 9--just a good kid. I don't know how that happened, but we went there one time and the kid had a broken arm. Apparently dad thought it would be funny to throw a football at the kid while he was climbing on the playground. He fell and broke his arm. That was the worst of it, but the father was just constantly hassling this poor little kid in a borderline nasty way--I mean, stuff you wouldn't even do goofing around with your adult buddies. He acted like it was all just the usual father-son teasing.

 

I said to my friend after hearing the football story, "That kid's first step into manhood is going to be kicking his father's a$$."

 

Sometimes it's just random and there's no way to predict the end result.

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Team sports may help. That may show them they have to obey rules and it’s not always what they want but what is best for the team. You might just try to find a sport they would like to try. 
 

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14 hours ago, alsancle said:

Many fully functioning adults were absolute nightmares as children.

 

To some degree, this was my Father.

He wasn't a complete hellion since my Grandfather was pretty strict being as they were running the small family farm.

But, he did skip school, get into fights all the time and generally didn't care about a formal education.

When he was in high school he had a teacher that changed his life.

That teacher was able to get through to him when no one else could.

Under that teacher's guidance, my Dad won many FAA awards and speaking contests.

Many years later, after being completely unfulfilled in the auto parts business, my Dad decided to finish college and become a teacher.

He earned a Masters and taught 6th grade for 34 years.

He felt that 6th grade was the perfect age to be able to turn a troubled kid around and make a difference in their life.

I could write volumes about the students and things my Dad did to positively affect their lives so I'll stop here.

 

The Old Man must have done something right because former students would always go back to visit him and even those that had gotten married and had their own kids took them to meet my Dad.

When my Dad passed there were at least a dozen former students in attendance, and he taught 6th grade, not high school or college.

 

Long story short, there may be someone that will come into your child's life that will make a life changing impact on them.

Remember, kids rarely listen to their parents when it comes to actual advice.

When my late wife and I would have disagreements about parenting her son I would always tell her, I don't need him to like me, and I don't care if he ends up hating me for now. I just want him to have the foundation to be a productive adult, no matter what he chooses to do with his life. Maybe some day he will thank me but it's not required. Him just straightening up and becoming a responsible adult would be enough.

Edited by zepher (see edit history)
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I was lucky I found football a CYO league. Our coach an ex Washington Redskin stressed education more than football But discipline was mandatory. He had us show him our report cards ( remember those things) and if we didn’t keep a minimum of ‘C’s’ you couldn’t play. He was my coach until high school. I didn’t have much support of my parents. Not a bad childhood they were just busy with my brothers.  I rode my bike to practice every night about 4 or 5 miles. Coach Wilson followed me home each night just to be sure I got there. Then along comes Mr Mueller a big ten all star form Minnesota. He was also the dean. Football got me thru school and a college scholarship. Coach Mueller would have me in his office after school  before practice, for study hall. He would have a smart kid there for any subject I was struggling with. I  know without those two special people I would not have made it thru school. I know these times are different but coaches have a way of demanding respect and some how getting more out of a kid than anyone ever thought possible. 
The two of you are special people for taking on a responsibility like you have. Hang in there you will find a solution or someone will come along and help. 
Give sports a try once this mess allows you out of the house. It might be as good for you as it has been for me. 
dave s 

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We tried Sports.  When he was able to play little league last year,  he broke his knee running across home plate. Everyone is still trying to figure out how that happened.  That turned into a whole new fight with the wife as he didn't want to do his rehab and fought her every step of the way,  but she pushed on and he was able to get full use of his knee back after surgery.  Now he is in Junior High and has to have good grades to play.  Since he struggles and puts little effort forth in his school work, he can't play sports.  My wife has been a big pusher at getting him as much help is possible,  constantly meeting with his teachers and working with them to make sure he does as good as possible.  Unfortunately some teachers in the past didn't push the fundamentals enough,  he was put in behavioral classes, which he needed so they didn't do the work to lay the foundation that he now needs as they spent more time just making the kids mind.    It all comes to a head this year where you need to maintain a good grade to play.  Now we are stuck in the middle of the whole WuFlu mess with not only no help from School but mom homeschooling and very little socializing much less team sports to help out.  

I agree it has a chance to help, nothing else has at this point, but unless he makes the grade he won't be able to play next year when hopefully life can try to return to normal, if the wife and I aren't in an Asylum our self by then. 

 

Uncle Eddy,  when do you want to stop by?  He's getting more violent slowly but surely and he is as big as my wife now.  I'm a small wiry guy so it's hard to instill much fear in him other than to look him straight in the eye and call his bluffs without a flinch or even a blink.  That can only go on for so long. 

The crazy thing is if we have a stand off.  I finally call it off,  he will come over to you a few minutes later like nothing ever happened and ask you a question or something.   In his mind I think his brain blocks it all out much of the time.  He's been tested and there are lots of deficiencies so we are challenged right from the get go. 

Oh well hope for school in September and just pray the wife and I can last that long. 24 /7 is really becoming a struggle. 

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13 hours ago, auburnseeker said:

come over to you a few minutes later like nothing ever happened

 

I know guys like that, Total a** hole one minute and then like it never happened. (I am talking about adults here)

Problem being, I cannot unsee that and lose all respect, I think of the incident (or incidents in most cases) every time I have to interact with the bu** hole.

I don't hang around people I don't like very often, but sometimes we have to.

I have been involved it the dirt racing here in the NW forever and have been from driving to officiating to promoting.
This is a sport where most participants are Alpha Males. When in large groups there is lots of bitching.

The only sport I can think of that involves more than two teams battling at the  same time.

Ant when the green flies the adrenaline flows.

More than once I have had people come to me and ask how I manage to keep my cool when some guy is reaming me after a race for some call I had to make.

I always look back and remember what it looks like to the fans when some guy cant control his emotions. Some stuff as much as we would like to we just cannot "unsee".

This is why some drivers are more popular than others, its how you carry yourself no matter what mood you are in.

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On 5/5/2020 at 4:00 PM, 1937hd45 said:

Could I see the wheels & belt molding in green, please. 

 

I guess Randy could do that, but assume he wants a decent return on investment if he ever wants or needs to sell (aka few cars really pull off Green to get top dollar).

 

As much as people like Green there is an equal number of people that absolutely cannot stand it (it's a polarizing color) and I like SOME Green's  too  - as to wheels on a Yellow car = Red's are fine, Maroon's are fine, Blues are fine, Yellow's are ok enough, Black is a little bumblebee-ish and ok enough - but NO GREEN.

 

Here is a great example and should have been fine in an English bodied Mercedes in BRG (British Racing Green), but what a bloodbath in price ($825,000 - 362,500 + then factor in paint of perhaps 60K = 522,500 loss more or less) // They should have left it red so dripping pool of blood did not show so bad. 

 

https://rmsothebys.com/en/auctions/mo14/monterey/lots/r128-1934-mercedes-benz-500-k-tourer-by-mayfair/181089

Red = Sold 825K at RM Pebble Beach sale 20141934 Mercedes-Benz 500 K Tourer by Mayfair -

 

https://www.bonhams.com/auctions/25719/lot/185/

Green = Sold $362,500 Amelia Island 2020

<b>1934 Mercedes-Benz 500K Four-Passenger Tourer</b><br />Chassis no. 123689<br />Engine no. 123689

Edited by John_Mereness (see edit history)
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Randy, you asked about horns:  I assume this fellow is still alive and hopefully still active with horns in reproduction and repair, though he must be pretty elderly now.

 

Cecil Nuxoll's Trumpet Horns

Hello!

 Cecil Nuxoll, repairs Trumpet Horns from the 1930's. You may know him from his years at Hershey or his travels to other swap meets.

If you are interested in his work, please contact him at (509) 838-1735.

Or, you may write to him at fiannadickson@hotmail.com, and I will ensure he gets your message.

Edited by John_Mereness (see edit history)
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I don't remember seeing him,  but then again,  never having a car like Victoria I was never in the market for a pretty set of horns.  Fortunately things have changed.  I'll check with him.  I appreciate the lead. 

Like a true Mistress all this Jewelry is getting expensive. ;) 

Found a pair of pilot rays trying to make the decision on them. One has a damaged rim.  Anyone got a spare rim? 

Still not sure on rim color.  It's probably Maroon or Dark Blue.  I want ot pick something that i can match a belt line to eventually and maybe accent the finders along the bead lines.  That looks tasteful and a few photos show that was done in the day. 

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On 5/5/2020 at 4:00 PM, 1937hd45 said:

Could I see the wheels & belt molding in green, please. 

 

Again, not quite the right color, but I tried to get a dark, elegant green. Beltline very hard to mask so it's not as crisp as I would like and I didn't even try to get the fender moldings which would have to be painted to match even if you are just doing a partial color change. I almost think it would be too much.

 

Randy_Render_Green.thumb.jpg.aba92de7c146b9694c3feabb84d8497f.jpg

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I agree I'm not liking green so much any more.  Maybe it worked on the one above because of what looks like a Maroon accent.  As Matt Said before,  sometimes just the right striping can make a huge difference.  That would be one case in point. 

 

I like the blue look on this Speedster with the belt line and striping but the more I look the wheels kind of overpower the car for some reason. 

My car I think is a bit yellower or creamier than this tan.  Maybe a few shades different.  This looks a little more like the color they brush touched up my one fender lip with. 

6207.jpg

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On 5/5/2020 at 2:57 PM, Matt Harwood said:

Better photos, thought I'd try again. Chrome (like on the trim rings) is really hard to fake. This isn't quite the shade of red I'd recommend, I'd choose something slightly darker and a little less brick red, but trying to get the color right AND still have the spokes and contours show through always affects the final color. But you get the idea.

 

Add a pinstripe to match the wheels to bring out the beltline moldings a little better.

 

I still like a black top on this car, too.

 

Randy_Render_New.thumb.jpg.fa80a4d6fb2146560cc3504bd7654add.jpg

Matt, can you do a dark blue on the wheels for comparison ?

 

Sidenote:  And if time perhaps change the spare tire rubber to yellow - 1931 and newer anythings should have metal tire covers ?

 

Add'l Sidenote:  I see you have a knock-off on the spare tire - they actually made them, but they showed themselves on the later say 1933-1934 12 cylinder cars (especially Salon cars).  I saw a reproduction set knock-off spare set cheap on ebay about a year ago and should have bought as if I had a 31-32 8cyl car they would be my choice (that said, really rare and ....)

Edited by John_Mereness (see edit history)
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Maybe the green would work with whitewalls like on the speedster and the earlier Auburn pictured above (I took the liberty of making the whitewalls whiter, since I assume you'll have new tires)?

 

Randy_Render_Whitewalls.thumb.jpg.5905b45be80bd1ecdc6a96e3110133a0.jpg

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Maybe all of us on the forum should chip in 25 bucks to buy Randy some primer and paint.......then we can have a month of photo shopped debate on the best colors.............and the photo thread of Randy painting the car would also be very enjoyable! I’m in......where do we send the 25 bucks. 😝

 

 

Randy.......got a few hours to strip and paint the car?😎

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4 minutes ago, Matt Harwood said:

Maybe the green would work with whitewalls like on the speedster and the earlier Auburn pictured above (I took the liberty of making the whitewalls whiter, since I assume you'll have new tires)?

 

Randy_Render_Whitewalls.thumb.jpg.5905b45be80bd1ecdc6a96e3110133a0.jpg

Yuck, but perhaps try the Maroon and then Blue wheels with both whitewalls and blackwalls (and yellow rubber in spare tires as Randy has metal spare tire covers for it) 

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2 minutes ago, edinmass said:

Maybe all of us on the forum should chip in 25 bucks to buy Randy some primer and paint.......then we can have a month of photo shopped debate on the best colors.............and the photo thread of Randy painting the car would also be very enjoyable! I’m in......where do we send the 25 bucks. 😝

 

 

Randy.......got a few hours to strip and paint the car?😎

We should all share our paint bills - that would discourage anyone from ever painting anything again. 

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Having now looked at all these images until my eyes crossed, my vote is still blackwalls, dark maroon wheels, leave the belt moldings as they are, and a maroon pinstripe highlighting the moldings. Later, if funds allow, a black canvas top with red piping. Metal sidemount covers painted to match the body would be a plus, too.

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5 minutes ago, Matt Harwood said:

 

Randy_Render_Blue.thumb.jpg.7dc13b1f96cfa152125d87f7c5c0e510.jpg  1932 Auburn Phaeton

Stick with the tu-tone yellow as that would be the proper tu-tone configuration on a car with a dark wheel (aka - belt moldings would not match wheels) - Auburn's were done in very specific ways with only the occasional auto-show car escaping into the wild done differently.  i would cheat though and have the pinstripe match the wheel. 

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3 minutes ago, Steve_Mack_CT said:

 Painting the car would negate that cool initial cleanup and polish phase, or first 5 pages of this thread! 😁


I thought the first five pages were guessing the body style.

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12 minutes ago, Matt Harwood said:

Having now looked at all these images until my eyes crossed, my vote is still blackwalls, dark maroon wheels, leave the belt moldings as they are, and a maroon pinstripe highlighting the moldings. Later, if funds allow, a black canvas top with red piping. Metal sidemount covers painted to match the body would be a plus, too.

Randy_Render_New.thumb.jpg.fa80a4d6fb2146560cc3504bd7654add.jpg

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2 hours ago, John_Mereness said:

Randy_Render_New.thumb.jpg.fa80a4d6fb2146560cc3504bd7654add.jpg

 

 

I agree except the red piping on the top.................and don't forget. Once I thought I was wrong......but I was mistaken!

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