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Funny car stories

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I can think of several stories, but one that comes to mind right now involves my 1985 Packard-Bayliff.  What's a Packard-Bayliff?  There was a company during the 1980s called the Bayliff Coach Corporation that was customizing new GM products into his idea of what a modern Packard might have looked like.  Anyway, my car started out as a Buick Riviera, and they turned it into a four-door car by stretching it behind the firewall and adding the front doors from a Cadillac Seville.  Underneath all the customizations, the car retains its Buick VIN tag and is titled and licensed as a Buick.

 

So when I bought the car, the power rear view mirrors weren't working, so I went to my local Cadillac dealer.  I pulled into the service center and a nicely dressed serviceman in white button down shirt and tie comes over with his clipboard and starts writing down the car information.  Then he asked what the problem was and I told him the mirrors weren't working.  We go over to his computer and he tells me the VIN comes back as being a Buick Riviera.  I said yes, but the front doors are off a Cadillac Seville, and gave a brief story of the car.  He just looks at me with a blank stare and repeats that the VIN comes back as being a Buick Riviera.  And again I try to explain that yes, I know, but the part he needs to deal with is from a Cadillac.  He clearly didn't get it, and said, "Let me call over the service tech who will be working on your car so you can explain it to him."  So the tech comes over from the car he had been working on and asks what the problem is.  I said my power mirrors don't work and they're from a Cadillac Seville.  He looks at both of us and says, "Okay, so what did you call me over for?"  And I replied, "Because the suit couldn't think beyond his computer screen."

 

Another one from when I was a bus driver.  One day my regularly assigned bus was down for maintenance, so I was assigned to a substitute bus and the dispatcher gave me a key.  I went to the bus and the key wouldn't work.  Fiddled with it a few times and still wouldn't work.  I then took the key out and looked at, and realized that the key had a Ford oval on the head but a Chevy bowtie was on the steering wheel.  So I go back to the dispatcher and said you gave me the wrong key.  She looks at me puzzled and said, "No, that's a bus key."  I replied, "Yes, but this is a Ford key and the bus is on a Chevy chassis."  She just goes, "Um, um, go talk to the mechanics, maybe they can figure it out."  So I go to the head mechanic and explain that the dispatcher doesn't understand the difference between a Ford and a Chevy and so I was told that I need to borrow his key for the day.

 

This one happened just last week.  I currently have two cars at a restoration shop.  One is a Packard, and one is a 1981 Chrysler Imperial.  I found a local Chrysler dealer that still had Imperial trim pieces in stock, so I went and bought them.  I told my mom how happy and surprised I was to be able to find NOS pieces still at a dealer, and she innocently asked which car they were for.  With a straight face I just replied, "They're for the Imperial.  I couldn't find the Packard dealer."

Edited by superior1980 (see edit history)

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OK, maybe not everyone will get this but, when I was a kid I met Tom "The Mongoose" McEwen at Seattle International Raceway...... :lol:

7c229fc1b05f56519fb95d533c7620b2--mongoose-drag-race.jpg

442b1c0fcb320dcb5de94aaa667e9acc--the-snake-mongoose.jpg

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....Hey! I just realized that was EXACTLY 47 years ago today! B)

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I could tell you a lot of funny things that happened to me while racing but will limit myself.

Once something came thru the screen and hit my face shield. When I got to the pits my lap was full of needle bearings and part of a cup.

 

Another time I was in the lead and coming off the turn there was a couple of cars tangled on the back stretch, In those days we raced to the yellow so I needed to snake my way thru the wreck when I realized that a wheel and tire assembly was in the air and I couldn't decide to try and slow down or speed up. Its always best to speed up, especially when in the lead.

The wheel and tire landed on my hood and dented it such that it folded the hood and wedged itself between the fender and bent hood. Curiously  the yellow didn't come out as these tangled cars were able to clear the track by the time we came back around.

When the race got over (I won by the way) I pulled past the pit with the three wheeled car in it and his crew guy thanked me for bringing their equipment back to him.

That photo and story made the local newspaper.

 

Once we were racing at an unfamiliar track and I was BSing with an official when a wreck happened that broke off another wheel and tire assembly, That one got hit and punted up into the stands. It was like slow motion to see the spectators part to let that tire bounce off the bleachers and over the top and into the concession area behind the stands. It didn't hit anybody but bounced over the fence and thru some poor schmucks windshield in the parking lot.

The officials radio lit up for an ambulance call as someone in the stands turned and ankle or something when the crowd parted. Well, they produced about a 1950 something Pontiac ambulance that was parked in the pits, but they had to push it over to the grandstands with a push truck because it didn't run.

I asked the official what if they ever had to transport some one. He calmly said "well then we use the tow truck".

He was joking, the local fire house was less than a block away.

 

It always seems that just about when you think you have seen it all..........................

 

Edited by JACK M (see edit history)
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Quote

OK, maybe not everyone will get this

 

Oh, I got it! Funny Car     Stories..... :lol:

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There was a time that there were three of us in my buddy's 69 Chevelle with a Black interior. We were all sitting in the front bench seat [with me on the outside passenger side] and decided to cruise through McDonalds. It was night time and dark out so as we came around the building I made like I had to get something off the floor so I was bent over. These two guys sitting next to each other raised a few eyebrows especially since they stopped to talk to some other guys. After about 30-40 seconds or so I popped up and the guys outside the car relaxed and said they were worried about what was going on with the two guys in the car.

 "Not that there is anything wrong with it"...

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4 hours ago, Frank DuVal said:

 

Oh, I got it! Funny Car     Stories..... :lol:

 

Duh, I may have missed it, Frank.  Thought it was a reference to Kipling's  Rikki Tikki Tavi. The mongoose and the snake.

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6 minutes ago, plymouthcranbrook said:

"Not that there is anything wrong with it"...  Mandatory disclaimer

And a famous line from Seinfeld...

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A friend of mine tells this high school story and it may get deleted.

A few of guys were out cruising and the passenger in the back seat decided it might be fun to hang a BA. (you remember those)

The car hit a bump or something like that and he slipped and ran the window crank up deep you know where.

A trip to the hospital as he was bleeding pretty badly. And a VERY uncomfortable few weeks. 

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On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 2:37 AM, GregLaR said:

OK, maybe not everyone will get this but, when I was a kid I met Tom "The Mongoose" McEwen at Seattle International Raceway...... :lol:

7c229fc1b05f56519fb95d533c7620b2--mongoose-drag-race.jpg

442b1c0fcb320dcb5de94aaa667e9acc--the-snake-mongoose.jpg

 

 

I have been struggling for days not to post a "Funny Car" reference on the Funny Car thread.  My discipline held. 

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Three of us in the back seat of a buddy's car going somewhere I don't remember. Windows open, enjoying the warm Summer day. A dude on a Harley with his woman on the pack passes us. My buddy, sitting by the window, yells a disparaging remark to the biker, something about the size of his woman's butt as I remember. A mile or so down the road we come to a stop light. The biker,  now in front of us, stops,  gets off his bike and walks back toward our car, a big grin on his face,  ambling slowly,  no sign whatsoever that he is angry about the remark. Just in case,  my buddy quickly closes the window. Biker dude gets to the car, still smiling pleasantly.  Maybe he wants directions?  He taps on the window and my buddy smiles and lowers the window. Took several weeks for my buddy's black eyes and bloody nose to heal. I suspect the biker's knuckles took a while to heal as well. 

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I have a story that I was refraining from telling because I wanted to keep the thread clean, but since its deviated, I'll follow suit.  I have a collection of vintage hearses and one of the most common and most annoying questions I get is "have you ever had sex in the back?"  After finally hearing this one too many times, I figured that a stupid question deserves a stupid answer, and I replied with "That depends.  Do you mean with living people?"

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5 hours ago, Pomeroy41144 said:

 

 

I have been struggling for days not to post a "Funny Car" reference on the Funny Car thread.  My discipline held. 

 

Ditto Pom.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.......

When nobody else bit, I struggled as well, but in the end I just couldn't let it go. :lol:

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