How to get your wife interested

[Cordguy]

Has anyone stumbled across the secret of getting our wife/partner interested in the old car hobby ?. My wife (God bless her) will make any excuse not to go on a run ..... Too hot, too cold, too noisy, too windy etc, as a result I finish up taking the dog !. Am I missing something or is this normal behaviour amongst our spouses ? How do I get to take my wife & the dog ?.

1936 Cord Westchester

1927 Cadillac sport phaeton

[Marty Roth]

Take her out to dinner with the club, and remind her that she does not have to cook, or to clean the dishes!

Then get into a Day-Tour!

Then a weekend Tour -- not cooking, cleaning, making beds, for a weekend will logically lead to enjoying week-long National AACA Tours.

Of course you could start off with a relatively modern car with real glass windows, maybe A/C, and get with other guys whose wives enjoy being together, seeing places they don't get to visit near home.

We did some local tours, then all over Louisiana with the 7 chapters of our LA Region, and then got into National Touring back in the 1970s - turns out it was the most affordable vacations we ever thoroughly enjoyed.

Now we are ooold fahrrts, and she is a Master Judge - we are enjoying the AACA life style.

[R W Burgess]

Take her out to dinner with the club, and remind her that she does not have to cook, or to clean the dishes!

Then get into a Day-Tour!

Then a weekend Tour -- not cooking, cleaning, making beds, for a weekend will logically lead to enjoying week-long National AACA Tours.

.......

Agree with all Marty has said above, and do you know when you realize you are getting somewhere with this approach?

When she tells you, "I'm buying this Chrysler!"

[Dave Mellor NJ]

When I first started in the hobby my wife happily went along to everything but she quickly lost interest. Now she doesn't even move her car out of the way so I can get my Model A out.Very few wives/girlfriends participate in any of the Garden State Model A Region's activities. The only exception is when some of the widower members find a new girlfriend. For that matter the sons don't even show much interest which is surprising in that many of the members were themselves sons of members.

[keiser31]

So sorry to hear of all of you folks out there with spouses who may be nonchalant about the clubs and tours. My wife is so into it that she has started to spot/identify cars and is getting good at it. She even ended up being the president of our little local club for a while. She went as far as cleaning the pistons in my 1967 Dodge A100 engine when I rebuilt it. Apparently, she loves me enough to be with me even when it comes to competing with my first love.....cars.

[Ben Bruce aka First Born]

Some women are about as interested in cars as most men are in sewing. Fact of life!!

Ben

[Bhigdog]

This like your wife complaining that you aren't interested in her quilting club............................Bob

[llskis]

This like your wife complaining that you aren't interested in her quilting club............................Bob

I agee with the above. If you got a wife/girlfriend that is interested in Cars/Mechanics you are very lucky. If you try to talk to them (lets pick a subject)

like NASCAR 90% of them will give you a "blank stare". Larry

[39BuickEight]

Well my wife always plans out a murder mystery Halloween Party every year. She wanted to do the roaring 20's/Gangster one year, so it gave me an excuse to buy the closest reasonable car I could buy as a prop for the party. Since "that's why we got it," she loves it.

Then:

now:

and

[Guest billybird]

Look at it this way. It's about as easy to get wives interested in car things as it is to get men interested in an all day shopping spree for clothes, pocketbooks, and shoes. Think about it.

[dan at larescorp]

Everytime you go to a car event take her to the spa. Eventually she will be pushing you out the door to head to Hershey.

[Guest 37Packard]

My wife is a gardening nut and has no interest in going to car shows or cruises when she can be out in one of her gardens. She'll ride in an old car with me when we go out to dinner but that's about it. I guess it could be worse. I was talking to a guy at a car show and he said he's had his '38 Pontiac street rod (with A/C etc.) for over 30 years and his wife has never ridden in it once. Now that's pretty bad.... :confused:

[Bhigdog]

OK OK, here's how to get your wife interested in your cars. Sell it on the togetherness angle. Women eat that stuff up. So..........the next time you are bleeding the brakes let her help. She'll just love wiggling under the car on her back to loosen the bleeders while you sit comfortably and push the pedal. You'll be gratified to hear her shrieks of delight when a stream of fluid squirts her in her new hair do. Just imagine her giggles when she rips off her best finger nail. After skinning her knuckle you just know you will be in for the romantic night of your life, if you can just get rid of the kids for awhile. Yes sir. Once she sees just how much fun an old car can be she'll be so jealous of the time you spend with it you'll be looking for ways to cool her jets.

Next time show her much fun changing a rusted out exhaust system can be. She'll LOVE you for it........................Bob

[R W Burgess]

I agee with the above. If you got a wife/girlfriend that is interested in Cars/Mechanics you are very lucky. If you try to talk to them (lets pick a subject)

like NASCAR 90% of them will give you a "blank stare". Larry

I must have a gem! She is an avid NASCAR fan. (I like to nap to the "music" Vooommmm!)

My first classic (small c) car was a '55 Chevy. The wife told me to go for it and I did. Joined the Northern Neck region at that time. We have shared many region events since then.

Then she really shocked me with the "go ahead" to buy the Corvette (pictured at the Blacksburg Meet in 2010-here at the drive in).

Then the youngest son gets involved (seen here with Mom and the '56 Chevy at Chippokes on the NC Sentimental Tour), which makes it a family affair.

To get anyone involved you must share the love of their hobby too. I follow Mike around to his music gigs (He will probably play a little music on the Divisional Tour here in Virginia next May). He follows us to different tours around the country (has been to California with us 2 times, and looking forward to the next one). We let him drive, just like Dave Kontor did with his daughter, Victoria, on the Founders this year. She was the youngest driver, got recognition for it too.

Moral of the story? Share your hobby with others and vice, virsa.

Wayne

[keiser31]

Wayne, my wife sounds like your wife's twin! NASCAR fan, parts cleaner, all tour/show/swap meet/junkyard search participant and all around car girl. I share her shoe collecting hobby by buying her a little "shoe" item of some sort whenever I go to a swap meet. There is always something for her at those meets. We went to the first Las Vegas NASCAR race and she LOVED it!!

As far as the question the original poster has about how to "get your wife interested" goes, I gotta say...I believe that the only real way to do that is to educate her about the old cars and their differences and she may come around to become interested. The more she knows, the more comfortable she will feel at the meetings and on the tours.

Edited July 16, 2013 by keiser31 (see edit history)

[Dwight Romberger]

I agree with Bob (Bhigdog) quote:OK OK, here's how to get your wife interested in your cars. Sell it. . .

and give her the cash!

[Bhigdog]

I agree with Bob (Bhigdog) quote:OK OK, here's how to get your wife interested in your cars. Sell it. . .

and give her the cash!

HAW HAW HAW......................

[smithbrother]

We were invited to attend the Frankenmuth, Mi. show years back. The friends that invited us said it was a great small town, lots to do for the ladies, great food, so we went. We met our friends, and THEIR friends, my wife hit it off with the other ladies, by the way, the other ladies rarely walk the show, they are always together, shopping, finding neat places to eat, and just have a great time.

In the evenings we all get together and go out to eat, it's a great show, and EVERYONE in our group of 10 loves it. My wife can't wait each year to go back, we have made friends for life, and as I stated, the girls are happy, us guys are happy, and life is good.

You don't have to get your lady involved in the nuts and bolts of the hobby. IMO.

Dale in Indy

Frankenmuth, Mi. Early Sept. show along a nice river, lovely setting.

[Paul Dobbin]

For all those who are still having troubel getting your ladies involved, Please re-read Marty Roth's first reply. Follow his

steps, then orgainze a tour, with you wife's imput, for your local club. It's amazing how much more fun the hobby is when

you both are involved.

[smithbrother]

Marty's post is good, but let's be truthful, THERE ISN'T A SIMPLE ANSWER TO THIS REQUEST. I believe the husband knows his wife best, and only he is going to figure this out.

Sure the postings are valuable bits/hints/tips that may be used, but he needs to decide which is best for his situation, IMO. Some ladies will never be involved/interested, and that may be the answer here. We all have our interests.

I wish him well,

Dale in Indy

[Cordguy]

Thanks guys for the input, I think the real reason my wife doesn't enjoy classic car outings is that she is basically shy, and does not like all the attention the cars inevitably attract, happy to go anywhere in a modern !!, so looks as though it's still the dog and me (maybe I should buy him membership !)

1936 Cord Westchester

1927 Cadillac sport phaeton

[Dave@Moon]

How to get your wife interested<!-- google_ad_section_end -->

Well, first put on some soft music. Then a nice foot-rub leading to a full body message....

Oh. Cars? I thought you meant something else.:rolleyes:

For cars it's either hopeless are hard-wired. There is no in-between among the women I've met.

[TexRiv_63]

I was hooked on cars before I met my wife so she knew what she was getting into before she married me almost 40 years ago. To her a car is an appliance like a toaster but she knew they were an obsession to me and she supported that. She has never criticized my many purchases or my fixup efforts and has bemusedly helped me a million times. In return I have always kept the car money separate from the budget money and I take her pretty much wherever she wants to go. I wouldn't expect any more than that from her and think I've been pretty fortunate to have her in my life.

[Dandy Dave]

So I buy a Converiible so I can ride with the top down... Oh God Forbid! It'll muss up my hair doo says the lady in my life. Well stay home on the porch then!

She has toured with me and has had fun doing that but is basically not a car person. Dandy Dave!

Edited July 17, 2013 by Dandy Dave (see edit history)

[Shop Rat]

First question I would ask her is "Why don't you want to go?" If you have just asked her to go, she said no and you just walked away....you are missing the opportunity to find out why.

Dave Mellor mentioned that the only women that show up at his club are usually new wives or new girlfriends, hopefully not both at the same time :eek:. My question is this. Do the wives/S.O.s/girlfriends feel welcome to go and be at the meetings? Are they considered members with voting rights? One of the long standing "local" clubs here is pretty much guys only. The women are welcome to come to the social gatherings because they do most of the cooking, set up the area and the clean up afterward. They are welcome to come help at their once a year car show because they work things like the registration table. The guys do have a once a year event where they do all that to thank the ladies in their lives for what they do the rest of the year. Many women, and I am one of them, will not be happy if their husbands join a club like that where they are not really welcome. Bill has never joined the club because he agrees that it isn't right.

Does your vehicle have seatbelts so that she feels safe? I don't ride in any vehicle that doesn't have proper seat belts.

If the vehicle doesn't have working A/C, and the weather is hot, humid and miserable, and she is anywhere near the age of menopause, ...dude you are out of luck.

Based on what she tells you when you ask her to go along and she says why she doesn't want to, ask her where she would like to go and then take her there in the antique vehicle if she does feel safe in it.

I love NASCAR. I love antique vehicles. I am a 102 credit (as of the Carlisle Meet) Senior Master Judge and a Certified Team Captain. I got involved because I got sick and tired of going along and spending all the time Bill was out judging alone in the camper waiting for him to come back. Only to hear his tales of meeting this person or that person. And that he got to judge again with someone he really liked. And how beautiful most of the vehicles are. I wanted to meet some nice people too. And trust me I have. And I wanted to see the beautiful vehicles too. Now I have the pleasure of judging them.

Guys, ask your lady why she doesn't want to participate in antique vehicle activities and then see if you can remedy the situation. And some ladies just won't go no matter what. But at least ask.

[Guest]

First question I would ask her is "Why don't you want to go?" If you have just asked her to go, she said no and you just walked away....you are missing the opportunity to find out why.

Dave Mellor mentioned that the only women that show up at his club are usually new wives or new girlfriends, hopefully not both at the same time :eek:. My question is this. Do the wives/S.O.s/girlfriends feel welcome to go and be at the meetings? Are they considered members with voting rights? One of the long standing "local" clubs here is pretty much guys only. The women are welcome to come to the social gatherings because they do most of the cooking, set up the area and the clean up afterward. They are welcome to come help at their once a year car show because they work things like the registration table. The guys do have a once a year event where they do all that to thank the ladies in their lives for what they do the rest of the year. Many women, and I am one of them, will not be happy if their husbands join a club like that where they are not really welcome. Bill has never joined the club because he agrees that it isn't right.

Does your vehicle have seatbelts so that she feels safe? I don't ride in any vehicle that doesn't have proper seat belts.

If the vehicle doesn't have working A/C, and the weather is hot, humid and miserable, and she is anywhere near the age of menopause, ...dude you are out of luck.

Based on what she tells you when you ask her to go along and she says why she doesn't want to, ask her where she would like to go and then take her there in the antique vehicle if she does feel safe in it.

I love NASCAR. I love antique vehicles. I am a 102 credit (as of the Carlisle Meet) Senior Master Judge and a Certified Team Captain. I got involved because I got sick and tired of going along and spending all the time Bill was out judging alone in the camper waiting for him to come back. Only to hear his tales of meeting this person or that person. And that he got to judge again with someone he really liked. And how beautiful most of the vehicles are. I wanted to meet some nice people too. And trust me I have. And I wanted to see the beautiful vehicles too. Now I have the pleasure of judging them.

Guys, ask your lady why she doesn't want to participate in antique vehicle activities and then see if you can remedy the situation. And some ladies just won't go no matter what. But at least ask.

Everyone is different. I'm glad my wife is OK with what I want to collect or do. Right now she is the paymaster, overseer ( we are owner builders ) of our new house's six car garage project ( the house already has a three car garage ) while I'm going back and forth moving the things I can from our old house. My wife supports my interest in the car and other hobbies. HOWEVER, my wife is shy and is NOT into cars so just remember one thing people, if your spouse or girlfriend or kids are not into it or this frame of mind remember these few words.

THE MORE YOU PERSIST THE MORE THEY RESIST

It's up to you. Do you want a happy home? Or are you happy using gasoline as a fire retardant?

[smithbrother]

Let's NOT forget that ladies have just as much right to NOT get involved, as we do to,. (GET) involved.

Let's not hint that if a lady doesn't want to be involved that something is wrong with her.

It's her choice, I bet most ladies are happy that we enjoy, maybe they need/want/enjoy some time to themselves..., maybe.

Dale in Indy

[Steve9]

Cord guy, you have 2 terrific cars! I think shyness must be it, my wife would love those cars. When I drug my wife along to look at the old Dodge, she was the one who made the bid to the owner! And this was our first car! You just have the luck or you don't. She was with me every day for two months while we sanded, scraped, bondoed, painted, and polished the car at a friend's garage till it was done. It's also helpfully we are involved in a club that's very couples oriented and the people are fun to be with.

[John_Maine]

My wife has no interest in cars and thinks the two old ones I have are two too many. However, she did ask me if I would like to display some of my models on the hutch in the dining room which surprised me and she tolerates my promos and diecasts on the shelves in our bedroom. Once in a great while, she will go to a car show with me but I have to say I have a better time without her because she strolls and I move, so I'm always waiting for her to catch up with me. When she tells me to go ahead without her, I feel guilty leaving her behind so I can't win. When I retired, she said I'd have to sell my cars and stop going to Hershey because we couldn't afford it. I let her know that wasn't going to happen - that I would be going to Hershey until my legs and feet wouldn't let me - which I hope is a good many more years. To those of you who have spouses who like cars, you are very lucky. Enjoy!

[Restorer32]

It's even worse if antique cars is your business. "You want me to ride along in the truck for 500 miles towing the trailer, help clean the car and socialize with the customer on the show field while you stress out because the customer assumes he will win, attend a boring awards dinner then ride 500 miles back home the next day"? I see her point. Last show she went to was Stowe and only because I only went to judge and she'd never been to Vermont before. She might get into touring but we don't yet have free time for that. Hershey, forget it!

[keiser31]

Man, do I ever feel lucky to have Cherrie!

[avgwarhawk]

My wife will go to the show if the weather is right. However, the cars are not really her thing. That is fine. If I go play golf. That is not her thing. Neither is bowling, fishing or hunting. Not her type of hobby. I don't fish, play golf or bowl myself. Just examples. By and large, it is a hobby we enjoy. Not the type of hobby she enjoys. I don't pressure her to come but, none-the-less, she is always welcome. Most times I feel my car show attending is "doing something with the fellas." Like golf, bowling, fishing or hunting. A hobby. My hobby. Sometimes if I know the weather is right and the show will have vendors(crafts) and something for her to do I will say this show requires a really hot chick in the car. Are you available? It works.

[Guest Classic50s]

Easy way to start. Trick her by saying you have some friends you want her to meet. She will be surprised, curious, maybe even a little jealous at first. Meet up with your fellow car buddies and their wives at a restaurant, movie, or some social event not centered on the car you took "hint, hint". Let her have a fun time talking to the women while you and the guys have a drink, talk about your rides, and other guy things. If she forms a social bond with the other ladies it will be easier to get her to go with you on road trips, meets, etc so she has other women she likes to spend time with. Over time she may even want to own a classic or antique then your Gold!

I never had that problem. My woman loooooves vintage cars as I do. SHE is the one who wants to go to all the local shows but I dont! Why..... Because my ride isn't finished yet and I don't want to get to jealous over everyone elses nice rides when mine is in 4,000 pieces. I am waiting until she is finished before I head to shows and make more car nut friends (who honestly can have to many )

Edited July 18, 2013 by Classic50s (see edit history)

[Pomeroy41144]

If someone is interested , then they are interested. You can't trick them or force them to be interested. A new girlfriend gets involved because she wants to be where her new guy is; most times that is the sole reason the new gal is at an event. Many people just don't give a hoot about old cars. I have a real good friend, a friend since 1974. We are both into history and related topics. I asked him three times if he wanted to go for a ride in my antique car. He said no three times. Clearly he is not interested. I won't ask him again. My wife is happy about our old car, but she does not want to sit out in the hot sun for 6+ hours talking cars with a bunch of old guys. On the other hand, I don't want to spend 6+ hours hanging with her friends during their activities. Just protect yourself by continuing to ask if she wants to come along. Then she can never say that you don't try to include her. If your wife really truly wanted to hang out with you at car events, you would not have to ask her more than once. Just take her out for some ice cream in the old car once in a while. Good luck.

Edited July 18, 2013 by Pomeroy41144 (see edit history)

[Restorer32]

It could be worse. One of this hobby's "old timers" who some would recognize if I mentioned his name, was given an ultimatum by his wife "either the cars go or I go". His response was "bye, I can find another wife, Duesenbergs are hard to come by" and they divorced.

[alsfarms]

I could not help but add to this REAL LIFE wife issue chat. I started, when first married in the 1970's, to invite my new bride to go for a Sunday afternoon ride. I neglected to tell her that we were going to check out an old junk yard I had heard about. She was in OK humor, that time...we were in love! Next time she was a bit reluctant to set in the car, while I walked through head high sage brush. The next time she declined! (I wonder why) Time passes, she was and is tolerant of my hobby as it does keep me home and away from some of the other vices we men can have. Later, hard times came to our doorstep and she learned that the antiques are really ok. We had a financial planning session where I volunteered to sell a few of the cars to improve the family finances. She has been even more tolerant since then. A couple of years ago, she even asked to go with me on a Junk yard trip and walked with me. I also mess with old motorcycles, do you think she participates? She will ride a few miles with a smile but that is it. Every year we do a local antique tractor pull. She stays at the Fair barn while I do my red-neck thing. I do try to put her first, that seems to help my cause. She even asks me in the middle of one of my honey-do projects, "When are you going to get that old car on the road?" I hold my tongue and finish her job and act like I don't hear a word she says. It is better that way. You know what, after 38 years of marriage I am not about to trade her in on a new model. I like what I have and can still have my hobby also. Al

[avgwarhawk]

It really boils down to a hobby for us. Not so much for the missus. The offer to go is always on the table. I don't push her to go. It does not upset me if she does not go. Often when I return from a show we go out to dinner. For me, going to a show as part of my hobby is no different than me going bowling(if that were my hobby).

[Guest Bill Miller]

I have had to chuckle at many of the responses to this post. It seems to have resonated with quite a few forum-followers. It also makes me appreciate being married to my wife of 39 years who dearly loves the hobby. She likes art, as in impressionist paintings in museums and Michelangelo sculptures. She views antique cars as rolling art and jumps at any chance to be around them. We have a routine of yearly going to Amelia Island for the Concours in March, then doing a tour with one of the clubs in May, then a couple of Concours events during the summer, then the local Louisville Concours in October, Hershey every other year, and a local VMCCA or CCCA tour later in the fall. There have been only two occasions in which I thought I might have lost her. The first was when we drove about an hour from home to look at a 1937 25/30 Rolls-Royce in southern Indiana. It was a mess cosmetically, having been sprayed the ugliest black and gray colors imaginable with cans of spay paint you buy at hardware stores, the moth-eaten headliner was falling down, and the leather seats were ripped open in multiple places. I bought the car because it ran great and carried rather racy Gurney Nutting coachwork which is fairly rare. I later determined that the body is indeed very rare, ours being one of two on this chassis. As I was driving it home, I had to hold the headliner up with one hand and steer and shift with the other. My dear wife was sitting in the passenger seat and the goosedown seat stuffing was blowing around the interior like a winter blizzard in mid summer, like one of those snow globes you put out at Christmas time. She looked at me and smiled as she blew some feathers away and said "You're actually going to pay MONEY for this thing?" Well, I told her it was a diamond in the rough and I bought her a nice piece of jewelry to compensate for this affront to her senses, and after a few years and a few dollars of restoration, it's now her favorite car. The second occasion was when I bought a 1976 Jensen Interceptor convertible, one of the last handful made. Great looking car but heavy and a gas guzzler for sure. Still, I got a good buy and I liked it. My wife, however, actually cried when I bought it. She hated the thing from the start and no amount of cajoling or reasoning (did I actually say "reasoning"???) did any good. So I sold the car for a modest profit but I still wish I had it. Anyway, my advice is to find out what you wife enjoys in life and see if you can incorporate old cars somehow into her comfort zone. If not, just live with it.

Edited July 18, 2013 by Bill Miller (see edit history)

[jeff_a]

Cordguy,

Well, let's assume you're married and have an anniversary coming up (3rd, 8th, 20th, doesn't matter). Plan a vacation beginning in the Seattle, WA area. You'll embark on a round trip to Alaska & back. Make sure it's one of those packages where you take a cruise ship up the Inside Passage, take the Alaska Railroad from Anchorage to Fairbanks, and then fly back to Seattle from Fairbanks. Book your hotel room at The Wedgewood Resort for your stay in Fairbanks. When you have arrived by train in Fairbanks and have an hour or two...tell your wife that you would like to walk over to see the vintage clothing collection in the museum..."Would you like to go, too? It's only a block away and is the finest historic costume collection in Alaska."

Hopefully, she goes with you. There really IS a museum right next to this hotel and it does have an extensive, well-displayed clothing collection. Mixed in among the 100 vintage costumes on display, you both will notice a few cars, too. The museum (technically, The Fountainhead Antique Auto Museum) uses both restored antique automobiles(1898-1938) and clothing to interpret the history of these four decades. Of course, you'll keep that a secret until then....but I'm sure she will be interested in the cars after seeing such a wonderful place.

Vehicles in museum: 60+

Summer Hours: 11-9 Sun-Thu, Fri-Sat 11-6

Edited July 19, 2013 by jeff_a (see edit history)

[Guest Nancy DeWitt]

Tell her to spend as much as she wants on some vintage clothing or costumes to wear in your car (but you have to dress up too!). It's easy to get hooked on eBay or surfing vintage clothing websites.

Or, buy her her own vintage car (but let her choose it)

For it's worth, my husband thinks old cars are ridiculous. If I ever finally buy one I'll probably never get him to ride in it.

P.S. Thanks for the plug, Jeff! I can't tell you how many women get dragged in to our museum with scowls on their faces, but then spend two hours looking at everything and don't want to leave.

Edited July 19, 2013 by Nancy DeWitt (see edit history)