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A List of things ya don't say.


brh
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Never say this in front of another car guy. How tough can it be to change....

In my case it was a differential! Went over to a friend's house to help out on his car, he was gonna change rear bearings while I changed oil and greased the front end. Easy day right?? He took off the pan on the differential and started with a string of cuss words. Guy that sold em the car lied about the performance rear end, it was stock. Knowing he had another one, eyeing up the job and such, I asked "how tough can it be to swap out the rear end??" 8 hours later the other one was in and the car was test driven. I am still sore today!!!

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The "Might as wells" are what got me...I started with an engine bay clean up and look at it now!

5601464018_c2e69dc400.jpg

As far as sayings...

"Watch this...." <----Something is about to explode

"I saw this on TV once..." <----Something is about to break, then explode

"Lamar...I'm thinking of buying a 1954 Buick" <----This will get you a new Buick in about a week or so. yes.gif

Edited by stealthbob (see edit history)
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How bout " I'm just gonna change the valve cover gaskets".

Sure to lead to scraping and painting the entire top half of the engine, plus polishing all the metal lines and replacing all the vacuum hoses. Minimum of one week if you're lucky.

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Bob got this one right.....

"Lamar...I'm thinking of buying a 1954 Buick" <----This will get you a new Buick in about a week or so.

Might that also lead to another "engine bay cleanup"?

I came to the conclusion, many years ago, after I'd started working in dealership parts, that when somebody came up, put their hand on your shoulder, and then started their dialogue with "Hey, 'ol Buddy . . ." that I needed to conceptually make sure my backside was against a solid wall, lest something unacceptable happen. Nothing against helping somebody, but sometimes their tone of voice can be ominous. Of course, I'd always listen to their proposal/request, but always with a careful ear before we discussed it further.

Don't forget the one about saying "I'll only be a little while" to your spouse as you head out the door to go help a friend with their project. When "little whiles" show a pattern of becoming longer and longer, then that might initiate a discussion of "If I had a shop out back, then THEY could come over here! Then you'd know where I was all of the time."

Respectfully,

NTX5467

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How bout " I'm just gonna change the valve cover gaskets".

Sure to lead to scraping and painting the entire top half of the engine, plus polishing all the metal lines and replacing all the vacuum hoses. Minimum of one week if you're lucky.

John, I found out one time that I needed to plan on "one night after work" for each flat rate hour in the Chilton manual to get some of these "little things" done. One things leads to another and then, suddenly, it's 2:00am on a weekday "night". "Focus" is a good thing. "Loosing track of time" is a good thing, too, which is indicative of "focus" and "enjoyment". Having a good stock of needed items works, too!

Enjoy!

NTX5467

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And the famous . . . "Ah, those things don't cost much, let me get you a couple so you'll have some!"

Before you find out they only come in a 10-pack and cost exponentially more than you remembered them costing a while back (which really turned out to be a few years prior). OR, (gasp) They've been discontinued and you're on the hook to find some!

Enjoy!

NTX5467

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How bout " I'm just gonna change the valve cover gaskets".

Sure to lead to scraping and painting the entire top half of the engine, plus polishing all the metal lines and replacing all the vacuum hoses. Minimum of one week if you're lucky.

Also, provided ya don't snap off one of them itty bitty bolts. Pin punch and lots of patience = no drilling.

BTW Liquid Wrench is REALLY flammable!!

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I always tell wife before leaving for a show/flea market/wild goose chase looking for a car "we are going on an adventure. You can't put a time limit on an adventure, it just has to run its natural course so I have no idea when we will get back".

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BACKING your truck and trailer loaded with another newly purchased 54 verrrrrrryy sloooowly down the driveway to the back of the barn to make your wife think you've sold one and are delivering it, only works a couple of times. And when caught, trying to convince her that it was the first time you tried such a stunt doesn't work at all!!!

Edited by MrEarl (see edit history)
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More along the lines of wishful thinking, but relative nonetheless...

"Just drive it. That leak will fix itself!"

That fluid that hits the ground is just "overflow". The fluid level will self-correct and the droppings will then stop. Musta filled it too full when it was cold?

Enjoy!

NTX5467

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Oh, where to start from the logbook of experience?

"That'll only take a few minutes...." (three hours later...)

"I can do that Saturday morning and be through before lunch...." (forget afternoon plans)

"I'm just going to the auction to watch...." (four cars later....)

"I thought I disconnected the battery..."

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Things you don't say,.... Let's see.... Pull into a car show, Stick your toung out at the guy beside you. :P Tttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhthththththth... And say. " My car's better -n- yourn." ... :D Dandy Dave!

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BACKING your truck and trailer loaded with another newly purchased 54 verrrrrrryy sloooowly down the driveway to the back of the barn to make your wife think you've sold one and are delivering it, only works a couple of times. And when caught, trying to convince her that it was the first time you tried such a stunt doesn't work at all!!!

That's how we used to 'try' to get into drive-ins....back in the exit :D Didn't work then either!

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Ill fix the Jeep later, the truck only has a dead battery and a low tire, I can do this and still make it to work by 8:00. 4 hours, bent vise grips, a broken hammer and ticked off boss later at least the new battery was in.It took less time to change the water pump in the Jeep than it did to change the battery in the pickup

Dan

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Years ago Dad and I were out in the country driving his '70 Cadillac. Fire broke out in the engine compartment, no fire extinguisher, no water, maybe 1/2 mile from nearest house. Only thing in the trunk was a gallon of antifreeze. Asked Dad "does antifreeze burn?". He said "Yes but it will likely douse fire before it ignites". You can guess the rest of the story.

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