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So, a cowboy walks into ...


Peter Gariepy

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So a cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and

leaves on Saturday. How is this possible?

His horse is named " friday".

I know a great joke about a bartender and a dog named "Chunks" but if I posted it here I'd be banned for life...........Bob

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A rope walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep sez, "We don't serve your kind here, take a walk." The rope goes outside, ties himself into a knot and frizzes his end. He strolls back in and the guy sez, "Say, aren't you that rope that I just threw out of here?" The rope sez, "'No I'm afraid not."........................groan! ;-)

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The first joke told by my then 4 year-old nephew, now a Deputy Sheriff.

What goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield? It's butt. :D

Bet he does'nt have the GUTS to do that again!!!

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"

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A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"

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Guest billybird

Have you heard about the guy who squirrel hunted without a gun? When he saw one in a tree he would make terrible, ugly faces at it and the squirrel would drop to the ground graveyard dead! One friend commented how amazing that he could ugly them to death. The hunter said yes, I used to take my wife with me but she tore "em up so bad we could'nt eat "em.

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A friend got me on one when I first met him. We were talking old cars and I was a little naive at knowing some of them. He says to me "I know where there is a 1930 Henway" I said, "A Henway? What's a Henway?" He looked at me in wonderment and said "About 8 pounds." He also got me REALLY good on another. He says to me "There's this guy out in the desert and he has this sporty looking old runabout. It has a badge on the radiator and some of the letters can still be read. Some of the letters are "utz earca"." Well I started freaking out and said "What??? A Stutz Bearcat? Where is it? Where is it?" He started laughing his pies off and I knew right then he was jerking my chain.

Edited by keiser31 (see edit history)
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Last summer we went to the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. and saw the possum they had on display in the American History Transpotation Exhibit.

It's the only one ever to make it across the road.

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Gessipie Marconi decides to travel to Italy for 2 weeks of business and pleasure. He enters a New York City bank and applies for a $5,000 loan. The bank approves the loan, but only with some form of security and Marconi is quick to offer his brand new Ferrari as collateral. The bank verifies the title, takes the keys and parks it in their basement garage. During his trip the bank investigates and discovers that Marconi is loaded; he really didn't need this $5,000 loan. Upon his return, Marconi repays the loan and $22.07 interest. The inquisitive loan officer asks Marconi, why the loan, he didn't need it given his financial status. Marconi replies "Where else could I park in the middle of New York City for $22.07 for two weeks and expect to find my car upon my return?"

:)

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Guest doberman

Man walks into a bar and orders a beer. when finished he knocks

the man off the stool beside him. as the guy gets up this fellow tells him

that was judo from japan. he orders another beer and as he finnishes

it he knocks the guy off the stool again saying that was karate from

korea. well the guy gets back up and geting tired of geting knocked

off his stool he leaves the bar. 10 min. later he walks back in and

knocks this smarty off his stool and tells the bartender that when he wakes

up to tell him that was a tire tool from sears and roebuck.

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A blind man is telling a friend how much he enjoys sky diving. The friend is shocked and asks "how can you tell when your getting close to the ground". The blind man says "I can smell the earth, trees, and grass". The friend is astonished and asks "But how can you tell when your about to hit the ground?". The blind man replies "the leash goes slack".

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Have you heard about the guy who squirrel hunted without a gun? When he saw one in a tree he would make terrible, ugly faces at it and the squirrel would drop to the ground graveyard dead! One friend commented how amazing that he could ugly them to death. The hunter said yes, I used to take my wife with me but she tore "em up so bad we could'nt eat "em.

That one just cracked me up:D

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Guest billybird

How about the guy who just never could get along with his mother-in-law? They fought, argued, and cussed at one another for 25 years, untill one day the mother-in-law died suddenly. At the funeral home the man took one look at his mother-in-law in the casket and just lost it I mean he went all to peices, sobbing uncontrolably. Someone finally said; man whats wrong, when she was alive y'all could'nt stand one another whats wrong? Looking up through his tears the man said "I though I saw her move".

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Three not so bright hunters go into the wooda to hunt deer. One goes to the right, one to the left and one goes straight into the woods. About an hour later the hunter on the right hears a shot and then he hears the hunter to the left screaming for him to come help him.

When he gets there the hunter has shot the third hunter. They carry him out of the woods and take him to the local E.R. Several hours pass and the surgeon comes out to update them on their friend. "He's going to be okay. But it would have been easier if you hadn't field dressed him before you brought him in". :eek:

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