The devil made me do it

[old-tank]

While at the recent 'Buicks and Blue Bonnets' meet I was leaving a restaurant at dusk when a nice young man came up to my 55. He complimented the car and mentioned his concern over the fact that only one of my backup lights was working. I told him the other one only works when it is real dark. He then stuck his finger in a porthole and asked what they were for. I told him exhaust comes out when activated and told him to stand back while demonstrated. He nearly stumbled and fell when I revved tha engine.

While traveling in Pennsylvania about 10 years ago on the way to a BCA meet, I pulled into a gas station with my 55.

While fueling a very unpleasant lady(?) came up and asked what kind of gas mileage the car got. After telling her about 15 mpg she proceded to lecture me about wasting energy in that gas guzzler. I told her I was from Texas and in addition to a 10000 acre ranch I had about 50 oil wells and thanked her for using my product (none is true). She got into her Geo Metro and left in a huff.

Recently near home again I was refueling the 55 when a young man pulled in with his low rider (63 Impala) and asked me what I did to that Chebby. I went through a long list of customization techniques and said that if did any more it might be a Buick...don't think he ever understood and is still telling his buddies about that customized 55 Chebby.

And of course there is the old 'hands free starting'

Looking forward to some of your Buick stories.

Willie

[Guest ZondaC12]

HAHAHAHA especially the one about "i got a kajillion acres and all these oil wells!" Niiiiice.

I love the hands free starting. Gets em every time. Even better? Hood's already up and I'm at a cruise so I reach in and wack the throttle and fire it up. You'd think I'd performed telekinesis by the reactions!

[JohnD1956]

Great stories! I often would love to do something like that but mostly I just shut my mouth and then tell another Buick guy what the nut case said. I especially like the people who claim they had a car "just like this one" and then try to argue that something is not original because it wasn't like that on their car. The latest was the mechanic who told me the master cylinder in my 56 couldn't be original as the one on his Dad's 56 was up on top of the firewall..

[Dandy Dave]

Ohhh yeah....There is no way that my 1915 Buick had a starter when it was new because everyone had to crank them old T model Fords don't you know!!! It must have been added.. ..Not!!!

I open the hood and start it sometimes just to dazzle the crowd with the open overhead valve train and someone usually comments, Look, you can see the pistons go up and down!

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, Baffel them with BS! Dandy Dave.

[rocketraider]

You'd be amazed at the fun you can have with a WonderBar radio's foot switch, too. Discreetly mash that button and set the WB off. One passenger said "I swear this damn car is Christine!"

Or a Guide-Matic - Someone once asked me what that torpedo thing on the dash was. "Why, that's a phaser beam to blast slowpokes out of the way"

Anybody ever taken their early Dynaflow or HydraMatic car in for service and watched a kid try to find Reverse? or in case of a pre-56 HM, Park? I've had more than one ask "How do you back this car up?"

Then the coup de grace- Toronado! They cannot believe it's front wheel drive, and the flat floor totally freaks them out. I had mine in for service once and told the oil change kid at the station to make sure he checked the rear end oil. After about 5 minutes of searching, he announced "that car don't have a rear end to check!" I said "then how does it move if it doesn't have a differential?"

Station owner then said "Boy, can't you tell when somebody's yankin' your chain?"

[Ron Green]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: rocketraider</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Or a Guide-Matic - Someone once asked me what that torpedo thing on the dash was. "Why, that's a phaser beam to blast slowpokes out of the way" </div></div>

I need to use that one.

I have a prism for viewing the traffic light on my dash since the exterior windshield visor blocks it. I think that has now just become a sun activated cigarette lighter.

[Reatta Man]

Kinda reminds me of the old days when a sergeant would send a new kid in the Air Force over, telling him to ask the maintenance guys for 10 feet of flightline and a gallon of prop wash!

Good times......

Now as for the Geo Metro know-it-all, haven't you heard Rush Limbaugh's parody song "In a Yugo" sung to the tune of the old Elvis song "In the ghetto"?

If not, here you go:

http://humor.beecy.net/songs/Elvis/

[Guest cfBuick]

No stories to add, but love 'em all! Keep them coming...

[HurstGN]

I had the 82 GN at an event in Bristol Tennessee and I got an earful from a guy who knew all about my car. The engine was wrong (mine has the turbo 3.8) while all 82 GN's have a 4.1 n/a motor, and the list goes on... I showed him the window sticker and build sheet. He insisted that I got ripped off when I bought the car because they never made them with those options. So I asked how he knew this.

He answered "'Cause I read it in a book".

"Hrmmm, I know the book." I responded. "I also know the author. That book you read is wrong. Steve told me so. Wanna buy his latest book with the corrected info? I have a bunch over here at my vendor booth."

He got all huffy with me and said I was full of it and left. Didn't even look at the new book, much less buy one.

We miss you Steve.

[Reatta Man]

"A legend in his own mind"

Did you ask him if he ever once worked for the EPA in the 1970s and evaluated experimental electric cars?

Joe

[brad54]

When dorks mention the gas mileage on my old rides, I point out that my vehicle is the height of recycling, and that the carbon footprint of creating my vehicle has long since been absorbed by the planet, and that every year these vehicles are kept on the road is one less new vehicle that needs to be manufactured.

Furthermore, the manufacturing process of plastics is horribly destructive from an environmental stand-point: All the plastics on their new econobox have done more harm to the environment than mine ever will (body panels, interior, miles of wiring). Plus, if my vehicle ever does get junked, it can almost completely biodegrade on its own, while the plastic on their car will NEVER biodegrade. Don't get me started on batteries in electric cars.

Finally, how many new cars will they own over the next decade, contributing to the further destruction of the planet, versus how many old vehicles I will recycle and put back on the road, keeping them out of land fills, junk yards and a limited amount of new manufacturing.

The amount of petroleum in manufacturing and transporting their new car (and all the components) they buy every couple of years, versus the amount of gasoline I burn in mine each year is probably closer than they'd like to think.

Plus, my vehicle is a whole lot safer in an accident.

They never know what to say, if they stay around long enough for the whole thing.

-Brad

[rocketraider]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Furthermore, the manufacturing process of plastics is horribly destructive from an environmental stand-point: All the plastics on their new econobox have done more harm to the environment than mine ever will (body panels, interior, miles of wiring). Plus, if my vehicle ever does get junked, it can almost completely biodegrade on its own, while the plastic on their car will NEVER biodegrade.</div></div>

Brad, I've got to say that's a damn good argument, and one I hadn't really thought about. Metal returns to the earth as oxide, plastic returns to earth as- plastic. Nearly indestructible stuff, whereas an old car left to the elements will literally return and dissolve itself into the ground.

[NTX5467]

Brad, don't forget that newer vehicles are held together with plastic retainers and plugs rather than real metal screws and bolts (although the body structure is welded together). Bumpers and what they attach to are metal rather than styrofoam-supported urethane--that one ought to get them, hehe.

And don't forget to show them the real styling of the interior and how ornate it is, compared to what's in their car!

If you've done your tuning right, Brad, you might show them an emissions check where your car meets (probably) middle-'70s emissions standards. THAT ought to get them!

Enjoy!

NTX5467

[Reatta Man]

BRAD! STOP IT!

You are NOT allowed to use your brain, common sense and logic when arguing with the Save The Whatever crowd.....

Just kidding; incredible arguement.

The other thing to consider is the fact that many consumer organizations (Consumer Reports for example) have calculated the fuel saved in a tiny car vs. the cost of one visit to the emergency room that is more likely to come from having an accident against a much larger vehicle. The money saved in fuel was wiped out by one five or six-figure visit to the emergency room.

Take care,

Joe

[RICK YOUNG]

Some guys used to hang out in front of the local pool hall.

They bolted a Briggs & Stratton recoil to the hood of a Falcon. One guy layed under the dash to turn the key, while the other pulled the rope.

Several of the "embibers" leaving the bar never did figure it out.