Dandy Dave Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 (edited) The Night Santa Borrowed my Buick!Twas a stormy Christmas eve and all though the land, nothing was stirring but an old beer can. It must have been tossed out the window by a red neck passer by. Man, Lucky for him it didn't hit my Buick, or I would have had to make him Cry! Half asleep was I, when all of a sudden, up on my roof top there was clank, a clunk, and a clatter, Then against my chimney, I swear I heard a big splatter! I heard someone yelling, What happen now. Looks like someone switched my reindeer with a cow! It was muffed, so I couldnt be sure. But I think he cussed, a few swear words.Heavy footsteps I heard upon the roof, and the thought ran though my mind, This guy must be a goof.With a mighty leap, he sprang and, down my chimney he came. I had hoped he wouldn't get stuck in my flue. Being so fat I'm sure he would of stuck like glue. I stood there and saw him all covered in soot, good thing the fire wasn't lit or he could of burned his foot.He stood there and looked at me with a grin while licking the soot off of the beard on his chin.Mmmmmm, He replied maple and oak is what you last burned. For all I've done for you, Now I need a turn.Old buddy, old pal, old friend of mine, it seems I have a problem. I think it started down the street with someone who was unkind. Must have been in something in the brownies that them hippies left. Or it could have been the milk that was spiced with rum. Whatever it was, it made me rather Tipsy, and left my mind feeling real numb.I don't have much time so I'll get right to it. I'm going to need the keys for your old Buick. Not just any car will do it. I need one that will take us, straight eight on through it. I thought for a moment, and then exclaimed, What if you scuff up my paint and chrome? And Those tinkering little elves you picked up in Gnome. They'll screw with my tune up with they're little short thumbs, and get my upholstery full of cookie crumbs. And you'll surely break my springs with your mighty load, as you take her on down the road.And Jolly Red said with a laugh, Not to worry, We'll treat her first class. Do not despair. It won't be so tragic. I'll just sprinkle her with a little Christmas magic! OK said I, But I'm coming along. And tell the elves to keep it down. I'm tired of hearing that Jingle Bell song!Quick as a flash, the shed door flew open. Santa looked to see how I was coping. She sat there glistening and gleaming just like she was all dressed up for a Christmas greeting. Packed full of presents and all, with a motor so strong it just wouldn't stall, we piled in and to my surprise, that magic dust made her fly.Around the world we made it in one night. The old Buick was safely home by early morning light. Just like Saint Nick promised, Not a nick, or dent, or scratch was upon it. I think it was the elves that put me to sleep, They really do give me the creeps. The next day when I looked under the tree, there was a bottle of Jack, and card left for me. Thanks for everything is what it said. I could not have done it without your beautiful old sled.PS. We cleaned up the mess on the roof . Sorry about the goof! I didn't think the cow would have pooped! MERRY CHRISTMAS to y'all, Your old pal, Santa Clause!Yeah, I wrote it myself. Dandy Dave! Edited December 19, 2015 by Dandy Dave (see edit history) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigDogDaddy Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 That was very cool ! I loved it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 Bringing this old Christmas Classic out of the Archives... Tis the Season. Dandy Dave! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dibarlaw Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Thanks Dave. Made us smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BigDogDaddy Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 I Loved it last year, and I still love it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Time to bring this old favorite back from the archives. Only 7 Shopping Days left Buick Buddies. Dandy Dave! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 Back to the top of the House. Dash Away, Dash Away, Dash Away All. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScarredKnightfan Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 *grins* That's great, Dandy Dave ... MERRY CHRISTMAS! Cort www.oldcarsstronghearts.compigValve, paceMaker, cowValve | 1979 Caprice Classic (awaiting new owner)"You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile" __ Thurl Ravenscroft __ 'You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Schramm Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Great essay, but it says "bottle of Jack". Did "The Captain" get lost or pushed over the edge? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkertom Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 Great essay, but it says "bottle of Jack". Did "The Captain" get lost or pushed over the edge?Well, Captain did not rhyme Larry. I guess I'll have to come up with a Santa Pirate next. Poor sunken fool wallerin with the Hogs at the North pole. Could not see though all the Ice and Snow. Crashed on an Ice Burg and the Scallawags jumped ashore. Down when the ship Gold and all. Only warm place in sight was the warm glow of Santa's Castle. Headed there did we did with Half a Barrel of Captain. After a few glasses of that the Jolly little Santa Elf was really Flapping. LOL.. Dandy Dave! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 (edited) Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas!My Pleasure ParkerTom. As long as I have them all laughing instead of gasping. Dandy Dave! Edited December 23, 2015 by Dandy Dave (see edit history) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 16, 2016 Author Share Posted December 16, 2016 (edited) Another Christmas is near. Hear we go. Listen up now. Edited December 16, 2016 by Dandy Dave (see edit history) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 Back to the top. Tis the season. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Bruce aka First Born Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 3 hours ago, Dandy Dave said: Back to the top. Tis the season. Thank you, thank you! Christmas would not be the same without this story, Dave. Ben 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 Tis the Season to pull this slightly twisted Buick tale out of the Archives. Merry Christmas everyone. Dandy Dave! 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Roth Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 Hi Dave, and thanks yet again for this fun tale, and neat memories. Wishing you, and all our Buick friends the best for the holidays, and health for the new year. See y'all "Down the Road" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apolo1100 Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 Excellent ..!! love it.. Merry Christmas Dandy Dave ..! Apolo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandy Dave Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 Back to the top of the Wall. Dash away, Dash away, Dash away all. Tis the Season. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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